So my SD is visiting with her BFF and I have done laundry twice (in 5 days) and have only gotten one pair of pj's from both of them, no underwear or bras etc.
Is this a new trend or something that teen girls want to wear dirty smelly clothes? We also have a hard time getting them to shower after being out at the parks (Disney) all day, I know it's cooler here than most of the country but it is still hot and humid and they smell.
I must be old because when I was 13 I made a point of looking nice, smelling nice etc. I was attracted to boys at that age and wanted to impress them. I would have never left the house in clothes that I wore the day before unless I washed them the night before.
I wonder if I should email the BFF's mother and ask if she does this at home. I am embarrassed to send her home next week smelly and wearing the same clothes for 10 days.
What would you do?
Thanks everyone
They brought enough clothes for 5 days and I have yet to wash socks, under garments. It is really hot and humid here in Florida so I know all this stuff needs washing. I also talked to my SD and she does this at home with her mom. She said she usually wears the same socks and underwear for a week at a time and thinks its funny. I asked my hubby to please talk with SD and her mom.
Maybe they each have enough underwear/bras for a week? I'd ask them point blank - "I need all the laundry, panties and all." Maybe they are just embarrassed by having you wash them? Ask them if they want to wash their clothes by themselves. I bet they'll be throwing the stuff at you. I would not contact the girls mother. In all honesty, if she doesn't care about smelling, you telling her mother is not going to make her care. Good luck!
Welllll, I wouldn't want someone else washing my underwear (even at that age), but that's me. Into the suitcase it would go and I'd put on a fresh pair every day. Maybe that's what they're doing.
Our 12 yo does this. I don't know what it is. I have to tell her to change her clothes every day or she would wear the same dirty ones every single day! I also have to MAKE both kids take a shower every night or they wouldn't on their own. I think its just their age, I don't know. Trying to be independent or something. So if I were you, I would just say, Hey, you guys need to take a shower tonight, it was a busy day and you are all dirty. And just MAKE them do it. Good luck!
Hmmm....well maybe the other girl doesn't want someone besides mom washing her panties?
The PJ's wouldn't be a big deal I don't think. I swear one of my kids changes his pj's every day. It makes for a heap of laundry! The other boy changes them every three or 4 days.
I don't think I would email her mama....I am sure she will understand.
L.
I'd just tell the girls in a sarcastic tone "OK, fork over ALL of your laundry this time so I can get it washed up... I KNOW you guys wear underwear dontcha?"
Make them laugh, and get it washed up.
The other mom will probably check out the bag when it comes home and wonder HOW you accomplished it :)
How much did they bring? If they brought a bunch of panties, they may not need you to do much for them. I personally don't wash my bras constantly, so no bra for the wash in 5 days would be normal here as long as I wasn't sweaty (and I shower daily). Now, I'd bring more than one bra for 10 days but maybe she didn't think ahead.
If they smell, then you need to address it. Tell them that by x time tomorrow, they must bring you all their laundry or run their own by x time and they must also take showers. If you are going on an outing, make their cleanliness a condition. I would deal with it in your home, not call the girl's mom.
In the summer especially, I have had the experience from a number of teens (friends, the stepkids, their cousins) that sometimes you need to be a little blunt and point out what they don't notice. My SIL once came over and said to SS, "I'm not hugging you til you get a shower." (A few years later he planned for one pair of jeans for 3 weeks travel in Europe. I said that was gross.)
If it were me, I would be blunt but still nice...
'OK, we have been going all day and we ALL stink and need a shower, we have to do it in shifts, BFF is the guests so she goes first, then you SD and then we will go' Something like that?
Just take the choice away from them?
My older daughter was still a slob at 13. It used to drive me crazy but she just didn't care. She finally grew out of it around 14 and a half or so.
My younger daughter started caring about this stuff MUCH younger, when she started 6th grade (age 11.)
You are right, a lot of it has to do with boys. My older one didn't care about boys until the 8th grade, hence the reason she started to care about her appearance. My younger one is boy crazy. She just finished 7th grade and she's already had three "steady" boyfriends!
I wouldn't worry about the BFF's mother, I'm sure she's well aware of her daughter's less than pleasant habits, no need to point it out.
My daughter has been doing her own laundry since she was probably 10, so it's on her if she wants clean clothes. I know that if she's on an extended sleepover, she saves it all in a separate bag that she brings with her and she'll wash it when she gets home. I've never had anyone stay here more than one night so it's never been an issue here. I can tell you though, that I drive a school bus, and the middle school kids (11-14) usually reek at the end of the day. High school and elementary not so much.
She is 13 and old enough to know when she should change her clothes. I would be totally embarrassed having someone wash my underwear and bra. If she is really wears the same clothes all week, that is her problem. But honestly, I think she is probably kidding about that. And if she isn't, then as long she isn't stinking up your airspace don't worry about it.
