I don't know what to do except empty the house of all the food, but my 13 year old over eats and she'll eat food in her room, which she isn't supposed to do.
She is a bit obsessive-compulsive and she was never stick thin but not fat till she started her period. Now she's litterly fat. I took her to the doc and he said her thyroid is okay and her other blood work was okay except her pancreas is working REALLY hard, probably because she over eats.
She's very shy, but she has friends and does do things with them, but she prefers to read. Alot. She doesn't want to go to the gym with me or her friends, or on walks or anything. It's so hard to convince her to "do" anything. She's not motivated. Any ideas??????
Thanks for all the suggestions. FYI, I do not buy junk food for those of you that suggested I stop buying it, it just that she eats lots of food. Like an entire bag of pretzel sticks, or bowls of pasta, or rice...and she sneaks it so I don't know when she's doing it. There is lots of fruit in the house. However, I started cutting up the fruit and veggies and putting it on the table right after school, so the easy choice for her would be to eat the stuff that is better for her and take longer to eat than a piece of bread or whatever. I am going to improve the contents of the cupboard though and make the food healthier. I do allow the occassional ice cream or cookies, though not an everyday thing. But I decided that we'll cut it out altogether for a few weeks. She is 13 and she has her own money, which she uses to buy snacks and sodas at school from the vending machines. Thanks for all the advice, I will use it.
I've been overweight all my life, and my opinion is that there is something else going on with her. Food is her emotional coping mechanism. Everyone has some really great suggestions on here. All I have to add is don't make her weight an issue...model behavior instead. Do activities and ask her to join in. Don't make her ashamed of being overweight. It's definitely not the worst thing that could happen. Good luck!! :)
Hello T.,
Your daughter is now a teenager with all the doubts, problems and frustrations that come with her age. She has to accept her new body: she is becoming a woman and I'm sure you can remember how unsettling it was.
Now that you are reassured about her health, I would suggest not to mention her weight or appearance anymore. She is who she is, overweight or not. Don't make it more of a problem than it may already be for her.
Don't push activities on her that make her think that she needs exercise in order to lose weight. She may not be energetic but once again it's the age: they are tired all the time.
Ask her about any interest or passion she may have and want to pursue. She just needs to get out of her room, of her head, of herself and see that there are so many things to do in life, that she can be part of all that.
She reads, that's great but life is not only in books. Encourage her to take part in it too.
Once she finds other interests, she won't have time to eat anymore.
Please don't make her diet, take pills or exercise against her will. She just needs to establish a good relationship with food. Eating is a necessary energy for your body that should be pleasant to ingest, it's not something that you do out of boredom.
And don't forget to tell her how beautiful she is.
All the best
F.
How wonderful that she loves to read! There are various classes offered during the summer that focus on books. There are classes in which you act out scenes (could help with the shyness), writing classes, etc. SMU offers youth classes (they have a Plano, location), your child's guidance counselor might know of programs available in the area. I think many of the libraries even offer teen reading groups.
You are fortunate your child has a passion (not T.V.) upon which you could build. As a parent you could make the rule that she must enroll in something during the summer. Show her the list of available opportunities (of course only share the ones which you approve) - and then she will at least be involved in something, and feel she had the control to select her program. How nice that she would have the chance to meet other teens with a similar interest.
If she does become quite busy - you'll most likely need to make sure you have easy, low fat snacks available!
Good luck - she is lucky that you care so much.
S.
Your daughter may be facing emotional problems and not even realize it. I went through a similar situation myself after my parents divorced. I would encourage her to go with you to the track...and keeping healthy snacks that wont effect her wieght as much.
And by the way...a thyroid can be perfectly normal and you may still have symptoms. My thyroid for instance is right in the middle bewteen high and low. My doctor put me on a low dose of levoxyl and it has helped dramactically increasing my metabloism and energy level....not to mention I dont feel as hungry or moody. I would also suggest trying to lower her carb intake if at all possible. GOOD LUCK!
Don't suggest going to a gym but make exercise more fun! Make walking fun by going to White Rock lake or other area lakes or nature trails (sometimes walking around the neighborhood can be boring) or ride a bike. Don't even tell her yall are going walking. Act like you have to go somewhere (pick some various store near White Rock & say as you drive by the lake, "it's a nice day let's just take a little walk".
I've been overweight my whole life & food was comfort to me. Don't pressure but try hard to figure out what is going on. Being a teenage is hard.
I was a teen just like your daughter. I'm not that much older (22). She may be eating for comfort or boredom. I'd get upset and wanto to eat or stressed or what have you. It's a habit not so much hunger. I still have that problem and have learned to control in considerably but that's only because my kids see me and I don't want them to go through what I went through. Trying to get her to go to the gym with you and always making it an issue to lose the weight may be stressing her out more. I'm really big on the rewarding thing. Tell her something like "For every 10 pounds you lose, I'll buy you that cute shirt you wanted." Or something like that. You could also try getting her to talk to someone going through what she's going through. It's no easy road and there is no easy solution for it. Just support. I'm on the weight watchers thing. Once she sees how much better she feels as she loses weight, she'll try harder. Right now its most likely a stress thing. All teens look at it as Popularity is linked to waist size. and kids are just down right mean. hope that helps even a little. :)
Honestly, I would ask the pediatrician for a referral to a counselor or psychologist that specializes in teenagers. They do exist. It sounds like your daughter is fighting depression - what teenager isn't at some point - and having a hard time dealing with it. She needs someone to talk to about whatever she has going on in her life. The earlier she faces these issues - the faster she may get better and find ways to deal with depression other than eating. You don't want to wait until she is compromising her health. Good luck.
Try to get her involved with sports at school..I got my 11 year old involved in Basketball 2 years ago..SHe loves it.
She has also signed up for drill team In KASA.Good Luck.
T.
Its tough being a mom isn't it....there is no manual and we want to fix everything to prevent our kids from pain/misery/despair. Remember GUIDANCE is key. I agree with the other resonse and wanted to add to it. Try making a game out of eating, meaning make it fun. Have pasta night,taco night, etc. Everyone needs to chip in and help with the menu at some point in the week. The key will be using the most wholesome foods. What this means is reading labels and establishing good eating habits, understanding sugar, fats (good/bad), protien etc. Creativity, family time and learning of a healthy life style are bonuses of this practice. Eating healthy is a famliy way of life, she will not feel this is targeted in anyway directly to her. Currently, my son has allergies which prevent him from eating wheat,sugar and certain additives, so he helps me plan, I have only healthy snacks for the family and we all eat the same menu. The key for me is I get the kids involved and teach them why certain foods are good for them....skin, hair, memory, muscles etc. When they say they want a certain food in the store, I ask them to read the label to me...the answer to thier questions are answered when they read. I set limits on sugar, no coloring etx.This seems to work my kids are younger than your daughter but its never too late to make any issue a family affair for positive results. Best of luck to you. PS: when my son doesn't feel well, I ask him what he ate last, correlate not feeling well with what foods he chose to eat allows him to make the choice to stay away from that food....9 out of 10 times he at a food w/no nutritional value and additives. All I do is remind him how he feels when he eats certain foods. D.
