Good Morning K., I agree with Ruth Ann about the chores, in fact everything Ruth Ann said was right on. Definitely need dad involved. I imagine you have explained Body odor & hygiene to this young lady.
I guess since everything you have tried hasn't worked a little reverse action maybe called for. Only God knows if it would work with this young lady.
Well Sis, I suppose when all of your cloths are dirty, you get to stay home from your friends house etc..
When the school sends home a note with complaints of odor you can explain to them why you smell this way. All the powders, and deodorants won't mask it forever.
K. I think there is more going on then just not wanting to help with laundry. Did she live full time with mom before you and hubby gained full custody? Did her mom allow her to be lazy and do whatever? Did mom even care?
I know in my heart this is a loving child, just gotta find where that love box is stored, find the key that opens it.
Ok here is my next idea. Let's see if I can be a little more serious here. Do you have a day spa in your area? I love getting a massage, and the one we have in Wichita, I love ( Healing Waters) has a pkg where you can relax in a therapeutic jet tub for 20 minutes before the massage. They also do manicures, pedicures, facials etc..SO the massage isn't a have to for her. But my thought was to make it a Mom & Daughter day. Find something fun just for the two of you. Talk, have lunch out, go window shopping, see a Girlie movie. Show her with your actions you love her and want her to be a bigger part of the family.
I adored my step mom, I didn't live with them but once every couple of months Mom and I would just take off and go work on ceramics or walk through the Mall. We always had a great time. Mom had 4 children from previous marriage and I loved them also. She treated me like her own.
I miss her dearly, She went "Home" Aug 07
In all honesty K. I am not sure what will actually work with your little girl. I pray something clicks with her soon.
God Bless and Hang in there Mama
K. Nana of 5