Teaching Respect

Make a plan and stick to your guns. Punish him for his actions. When my daughter argues with me I just tell her to go to her room. She will then beg me no and says she will stop arguing... I send her to her room anyways.

Kids go through this stage. Refuse to argue with him. Don't argue with him. I would tell him he isn't allowed to argue with you and give him a time out or send to room everytime he argues with you. Oh and a calm voice telling him this goes farther than yelling because it sounds like you are engaging in arguing with him if you are agitated.

I think you're right when you say he might be mimicking, and I'm not just talking about the kids at school. You said your husband's tone towards you is not always nice. Kids mostly learn how to behave at home, and if your husband is not showing you respect, why do you expect your son to? I'd suggest a sit-down with your husband. Explain to him that your son is starting to exhibit the same disrespectful behavior he shows you, and tell him in no uncertain terms that you won't tolerate it anymore. Ask him to keep his disrespect just between you two...wait to argue until after your son goes to bed, etc.

we have been having a similar problem with my 6 year old son. he has been sassing his somewhat new step father. i am sarcastic and he has picked up on that but doesn't always realize the sarcasim, so to combat this my partner has started to point out his response was inappropriate. literally just telling him that he said something that hurt his feeling has helped tremendously. i have also found my son in a new negotiating phase, he tries to argue his way into or out of things. i have talked to him about negotiating and when it is and is not appropriate. i have essentially asked him to pick his battles wisely and he has come to realize what the negotiating boundries are. I say he an bring 3 toys to the park and he asks for 5. this is something i can let go and put him in charge of carrying, etc. when i ask him to pick up his room and he starts to argue i ask him if this is where he wants to expend his energy and if he thinks it will work and this usually helps him to realize that it is simply not going to happen. talk to him and let him know where you stand and have that conversation before it happens and good luck. many of my son's classmated are going through the same phase.

He is old enough to understand simple explanation... "I'm not going to help you... talk to you, etc... until you can speak to me nicer than you are." Explain and then hold to it. Simply ignore him when he's speaking to you disrespectfully. If he continues and it gets way out of hand with him saying things that he simply shouldn't say, then there needs to be a negative response such as corner time, or a tsp. of vinegar. When it's all done... and he's ready to talk nicely to you, then explain to him that it really hurts your feelings when he speaks that way to you.
If he's like just about any other kid, he will figure out that it's not working and will find another way to get a response out of you. Right now, he thinks he can bully you into giving in to things and he just needs to figure out that that is not the way to go about things... he's testing you, don't let him win.
A friend of mine used a term the other day that I had to laugh at... her 3 year old was throwing a fit and she told him "I'm not going to speak to you until you are nice to me." He softened a little, but she then said "You need to unscrunch... you're don't look nice and I don't want to talk to you if you're not nice." I laughed, but she explained that the look on his face tells her if he is ready to change his attitude... he was all scrunched up which meant he wasn't relaxed and nothing was going to change, he was just trying to get what he wanted out of her. He knew exactly what she meant and he almost immediately relaxed his face and when he did, he took a deep breath... then got a big smile and gave his mom a hug!

you can give him choices and then there isn't any arguing about the toys. like " you can choose this or this" and that is it! no more said.. walk away. if he doesn't like it send him to his room until he is ready to act respectful. I use that word with my 2 and 3 year old I think it is important that they hear the real words and begin to understand what they mean.

I also heard lately "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit"
and "I'm ready to listen when you are ready to talk"

I'm working hard with my two children not to wine at me all the time. those are my two strategies.. they have been looking at me funny but I know they will catch on soon.
Also at the store there is no arguments. not an option. If you can't behave you can't go to the store.

HA HA HA ...sorry to giggle...but do you really think that goin to GRAMMA'z w/o DAD ...is gonna work ....might make him worse ...cuz you know how grannies are ...ha ha ...sounds to me like ...he is discovering his attitude and disposition in life ...(balls are droppin?) I know that sounds vulgar ...but alll MEN,LIL BOYS, go through it ...just go with it and be persistant with the "YOU DO NOT ACT LIKE THAT'z"...boys are strong headed and determined...kinda like a lion...sumtimes he roars just to let you know I AM HERE...I HAVE A SAY...GOOD LUCK...Have FUN @ Gramma's ...if anything ...ENJOY the BREAK.....

J.,
You say, Dads tone isn't always the nicest? What is your tone like? Are you both on the same page? Kids figure that stuff out early and will play you. Sometimes there needs to be some negative to get the positive out, remember negative and negative equals positive! You and dad need to sit down and work together, and you need to come to an agreement on how you are going to raise your son.
My husband and I raised 3 sons, who are now grown and married, and the one thing that we taught them from the time they were little was respect of mom and adults period! I know that in this day and age everyone gives choices, of course when my kids were little it was you respect mom or I am going to swat your bottom. Notice I said, swat! Worked every time. Not that it took long. Boys will push buttons but because I followed through (and didn't need to say, wait until your father comes home to make him the bad guy)they learned really quick if I said something there would be consequences if they didn't follow through.
The biggest thing I see now a days when I walk the mall is mothers who just don't know how to deal with their kids. I hear, honey if you don't stop talking like that I am going to have to put you in time out. Then they continue and she gives them another choice, and then by the third time she is pulling her hair out, and the kid won!
I believe if a child learns early on who is the boss, you won't have a problem.
Biggest advice Follow through whatever the threat and he will get the idea.
You might also try to show him other kids and the way they act in public, trust me they are easy to find. Show him just how terrible it looks when they act like that.
I can't tell you how many times we had people come to our table and tell us how well mannered our boys were and how nice they sat at the dinner table, it did my heart good.
By the way, when he is out in public and so polite do you compliment him? Do you ask him why he is so nice in public and why he hurts your feelings with his behavior at home?
Oh and the best is, when dad was told about the stuff, and he always was even though the kids pleaded with me not to (and I think that was part of it) he would address the one doing it and he would say, You don't speak to "my wife" like that young man! Not mother, it really takes on a different spin with the kids, they were a little older at the time it was used but it worked.
Lastly, you pick your friends you become those friends!
Might want to see about having him hang with other boys that are polite, kids learn what they see.
Good luck, and when you get to Grandmas you should let her know what he has been doing, I mean she raised you didn't she? Are you polite? She might have some really good suggestions, and would love to be asked. I know, although I am never asked because I am just the mother in law, but I know Moms like to be asked. Give it a try!