Teaching Advice Needed - Parents of Sixth Graders Please Read!

I have a 4th grader and a 7th greader. Earlier this yea my 4th grader felt very picked on by her teacher. After her complaining for several weeks I finally contacted her teacher and after a long discussion and talking about ways I htoought would work better with my child in getting her to listen ( she apparently was constantly talking in class) things have been much better. There were a few things that I stood firm on though. The teacher was elling her that she would fail the 4th grade becasue she couldn't keep quiet, which my daughter knew was an empty threat becasue her grades are straight A's. I suggested that she come up with a threat that she could actually follow through with such as sending my child to the principal. My advise would be to not thretened with anyting that you can't actually make happen. 6th graders can be tough. Not sure what your planning to do but I'm thinking something positive for doing the work and paying attention would work better than going the route of punishing for things that aren;t done. Good luck!

I have a good friend who is a teacher at Juvenile Hall. These kids are not known for their model behavior, I'm sure you can imagine. She was having this problem with one of her students and had to call a guard. In the days that followed the student was worse and was inciting the other students against her.

What she did was different, but if it worked there, it may help you.

She walked up to the student in the middle of class and said something like this: "You know, I know we've had some issues here, but I want you to know, I like you and think you can do anythng. The reason I'm tough on you is because I expect more out of you. I believe you are a very smart, you are a leader and it disappoints me to see you acting like that. So I'm going to make a committment to you, I'm going to respect you and treat you with respect, if you agree we can put all of this stuff behind us and start new right now, what do you think?"

He said something like "yeah, whatever" and she shook his hand. She made a point in front of the other students to respect him and show him honor, in front of his peers. The boy, a juvenile hall student, became one of her top students, and encouraged the other kids to respect her.

That story really touched me because instead of "showing them who's boss" and "taking charge", she took an entirely different approach and showed mercy and respect. The kid responded because she was genuine.

I hope you get it all worked out, I have amazing admiration for teachers who don't just do their job, but like the kids and want to see them move through things and be better for being in their class, but I know it isn't easy!

Take care,
D.

You need to find comfort in knowing that your principal is on your side. I am not a teacher, yet I have always been an invovled parent....(Booster Pres., Pres of Site Council, etc.....) and i am a part of forming disciplinary actions .

At our school, a "Handbook" is passed out at the beginning of school and every family signs a page stating that they read the ahdnbook and are aware of any discipline procedures. Hopefully you have done similar.

6th grade is hard...........especially after Winter Break! It's like the kids all of a suddenly turn into Jr Hi students and develop attitudes.

It's time to show WHO'S BOSS..........and that's you and your principal. If you have a copy of classroom/school rules to photocopy, now is the time to MAIL them home to the parents of.......

get your principals backing on how best to handle these kids.....consistency and follow-thru are key, like anything else :O)

If my kids behaved this way in school, he would have another thing coming! BUT.... I have seen other students "not care" about respecting adults......that's a big problem in today's society.

I hope you can find something to help you get through this year.

~N. :o)

Wow, you have a tough job.....my experience with this is when I was in 6th grade, we as a class ran off three substitute teachers (our teacher had a stress related breakdown and retired), kids that age can smell "blood in the water" and circle like sharks if you show weakness. We finally got a teacher who was a no nonsense disciplinarian (whom we called a Battleaxe, LOL) but she got control of us and we finally settled into a learning environment. So have the parents you called declaired war, or is it the students? I'm unclear. Anyhow, divide and conquer is a strategy if they are ganging up. Possibly pull each student out with their parent and the school psychologist, for a little one on one powwow. Discuss the seriousness of neglecting thier education for playing games with the teacher just because their friends are doing it... Kids that age think they know everything....maybe get ahold of some peers a bit older than them to have them testify as to what can happen if you goof off and not do well in school. Hope you get this sorted out!

Hi,
Since you are the teacher, what you say goes in your classroom!! You are not abusing these kids,so anything it takes to bring them in line. I would have the parents come in & explain what has been going on with the kids banding together against you & that is NOT a healthy enviroment for the other kids in the class.
I would make the trouble makers sit it out. Send them to the office, if they continue to disrupt the class.Make them take home any unfinished work.After a couple of days of this, the parents will make sure they stop acting out!!!!!
These are just kids......We are the adults & have many more options than they do.
Good Luck......

Incentives almost always work better than threats and punishments. Also getting to know each child as an individual and figuring out what makes them feel motivated. With a whole class in rebellion I am certain you probably know who the ring leaders are. Arrange a sit down with them to sort this out. Do some listening as to their motivations and concerns. Put them in charge of figuring out a solution.

I have a 6th, 3rd and 1st grader. Luckily, they've never complained that they thought a teacher picked on them. They complain about me picking on them though. :D

I agree with Stacie. Punishment should fit the crime and no empty threats. I would talk to some parents and I would addess the class and remind them of class rules. Violation of those rules will result in detention or a full day Saturday detention. Review pertinent parts of the school handbook with them. In our district, the students are required to sign off that they have a) read the school rules and b) that they will abide by them. Maybe you should review school policy with the Principal before you talk to the kids. Support from your Principal is essential here.

You know, if you have to put the whole class in detention or send them to the principal's office, you should do it. Stick to your guns. Remind them of the grade structure. If they don't do their homework as assigned, they get an F. Pure and simple.

Good Luck and let us know what happens!

You are the authority figure here. Perhaps for both the students and the parents. Stay Strong and Do Not Back Down. Document everything to protect yourself. And do not cave in because some kids are more poplaur than others, because they will pay in the long run. Challenge the Parents with your documentation of their kids rebellion and ytou should win. Hope this helps.

You have gotten a lot of interesting answers here--especially the one about juvenile hall.
It's definitely true that some kids act out because they feel like their image is threatened and they don't want it to seem like someone else has any power over them, because they think it makes them less powerful if they submit to authority. They want the other kids to think they are at the top of the food chain, so to speak. Sometimes it is cultural, and you have to make a public show of respect toward them, to put them at ease.

You didn't say if your sixth grade is in elementary or middle school (it varies between districts). that could make a difference. if the students are in the top grade and soon to go to middle school, letting them know how discipline is handled in middle school could help---letting them know that it won't be tolerated in any grade, so they may as well get used to abiding by the rules.

Are the students good liars? Some parent genuinely believe their kids are being picked on, because they are convincing liars.

As a parent, I have trouble believing a teacher will pick on a kid unfairly...but I sometimes think there have been misunderstandings.

If you keep good records of exactly what goes on, dates, frequency and consequences, it will hard for anyone to argue with the facts.

As a teacher's aide, sometimes I would write down everything a student did (and how long they did it) for a hour or so, and the teacher would read it all to the parents at the meeting. The parents were always shocked!

Honestly, I think some kids really see all adults as EQUAL in status and authority to themselves---so they respond to adults as they would to an annoying tattletale peer! This is very unfortunate, for everyone...the kids will not be able to hold jobs later on in life, if they cannot submit to any authority!

A whole class is rebelling over communication with a few parents? Hmmm. Not enough info to go on. Some kids don't want to learn and their parents will side with them. Some kids learn easily, get bored and then act up because of it and disturb the rest of the class. Or maybe there is an undiscovered learning disability involved and they are acting up to draw attention away from it. What ever the problem, you can't have your whole class disrupted over this. If the grades are good, try to give them extra and interesting projects that will keep them busy and give them a chance to shine. If the grades are bad, try to divide the trouble makers to opposite sides of the room. Can one or more of them be transferred to other classrooms?

Unfortunately we live in an era where children are not taught respect for authority of any kind. Being able to regain that authority after they have set in motion full rebellion is going to be hard. I am not sure what class you are teaching but here are some ideas...
A. Ask the principal to sit in on EVERY class these kids have with you. Make it clear before the principal gets there that he/she will be in attendance until they start acting like students again. Obviously your principal will have to be on board with this.
B. Be willing to take a week of about 15 minutes per class and do an excersize. Have one of the "trouble" kids be "the teacher" for that 15 minutes. IF they have control over the class during that time then they get some kind of prize (you need to figure that one out), if not then they have to rinse and repeat the next time. Sometimes sitting in the driver's seat is an eye opener.
C. Do an assignment "how can I be a better student and why is this important". They have to give a personal example and how they would do it differently in the future. Maybe be willing to do this WITH them. Have them research what it would mean to fail school versus graduating and going to college. What does that mean from a monetary standpoint? How will this affect where they live, etc?
D. I personally would have no problem failing them. School is not a democracy.

I remember when I was in 7th grade Spanish and I we had a brand new teacher. She was shy, young and obviously terrified. It only took a few days for chaos to reign. One person started pelting her with spit wads, people heckled her from the back of the class. All the students thought it was "funny". It was definitely the crowd mentality and it was scary. The teacher quit after the first semester. I have thought about her for years, felt sad and (now as a parent) angry with those kids for demoralizing her like that. If only she would have stood up to them, gotten help I think she would have been a good teacher.
On the flip side...
I have a son with Asperger's (he is 23) who was always being kicked out of class. Sometimes it was his fault, sometimes it was a lack of understanding by the teachers. Most of them were not even aware of Asperger's 10 years ago so they labeled him a trouble kid. I would sit down with him, ask him what happened (after talking thoroughly with the teacher) and depending on the situation I would talk to the teacher about how to deal with HIM better (put him at the front of the class, let him play with a stress ball, etc) or I would discuss with him how to handle the situation better next time and apologize to the teacher. Teachers and parents are supposed to be a team.
Part of what we are doing both as teachers and parents is helping children learn how to live in an adult world. Unfortunately you are also fighting against children AND parents who feel entitled to say and do what they want.
Please let us know how it goes! And good luck.