Teachin Modesty.

Hi A. I too have 2 girls. I have 1 that is 8 and one that 15 she will be 16 in December. I am truly blessed and give all the Glory to God because my 16 year old is a 16 year old girl. She has no interest in being popular or fitting in and I gotta tell you that biggest thing that I have learned about my kids is that they learn from us. Not meaning that you are doing anything wrong, but by just telling my kids not to wear certain things I am sure they would argue too, but I take the next step and make sure that they are aware when they go out in public they are not just drawing the attention of friends but possibly the attention of people that maybe they do not want attention from. My husband and myself are a united front and follow through since day one. We have 2 choices as parents we can give up and just rely on someone else to teach our kids because we do not want to argue with our kids or we can continue to Teach them to Arm them and know what to expect from the unexpected and I guarantee you will not push them away. They may still argue, but they are kids that is kind of how they learn and it is up to us and as long as we put God first then he will guide always us to where we need to be.

Hi there. I think we all went thru this as young girls. It is normal. I was raised modestly and went to church as well. I don't think you will ever have to tell them not to wear something until they "get it". You are doing a great job! I applaud you!! It might help to get someone in music or acting that they idolize who dresses modestly. I know Faith Hill and Tim McGraw are both modest and famous. As well as Tom Cruise and his wife Katie Holmes? See who they like -- see how those individuals dress normally and use them as somewhat of a role model-- telling the girls "See! these people are famous and dress to impress and are modest." You also might want to tell them people will see them for what they are in how they dress -- if you dress modestly - you will be respected. If you do not, you will not be respected and be treated as such. Ask them to "dress up" nicely in a suit or nice dress and take them out - ask them to see how they are treated. Then ask them to dress like they want and take them to the same place and see how they are looked at and treated. I suggest a nice restaurant or something similar. It might surprise them and you! :-) good luck! Let us know how it goes.. I have 2 girls myself - 11 and 2yrs and I know my time is coming for the same.

I totally agree with you. BUT I HAVE A BOY! He wears his pants down over his butt.

But I do know that the girls these days do wear thier clothes way to tight and way to short. But, do you remember what you wore in High School? or if you didn't what others wore? Skin tight stretch pants and short skirts.

My cousin is very much involved in her church and alot of girls very much involved in church dress this way. The best thing you can do is to continue to teach them about WAITING FOR MARRIAGE! That is the only thing we can do and be mindful of who they are with where they are and what they are doing. We need to be thankful that this is the worst thing we can fight with our kids. But, we need to choose our battles. I know it is hard and I am still learning too.

Be glad that you don't have a teenage boy... THEY ARE MEAN! I can't imagine what it is like to have a teeange girl... I hear they are mean too, but a whole different mean.

I will pray for you and your teens and you pray for me and my teen and LET GOD DO THE REST! BECAUSE HE IS IN CONTROL!

Have a good day!
Blessings,
K. J.

Hi A....I'm a Grandmom and feel your pain! My 60's generation started the movement for freedom of choice and I have to admit...it has gotten totally out of hand...It all starts with YOU...try to be a good example of modest dressing...children will always watch what you're doing, not what your saying..Teaching them to respect their bodies is a responsibility that never ends...let them know that they are God's creation and that He wants the best for them as well as you...That begins with respect for our bodies and those of others..You sound like a great M....keep up the good work..M. F

Hi, my daughter is 11 and I have been teaching her modesty since she was 4 and she understands, but I still have to keep her in check. But the biggest way I keep her in check is to fully explain why. Why she needs to dress modestly, boys, men, what they look at, leer at, etc. What attracts their attention. How at that age, hormones are flying, and they look. I definately don't put boys down (have one of my own), but boys look at things so differently. It is also in the bible about how we should be modest and God always has good reasons! Good luck.

Have you ever visited Homeword.com? It's a great resource for parenting advice from a Christian perspective. The website is hosted by Jim Burns who also hosts a radio program by the same name, Homeword. It's on 910 am at 8:30 am (I'm pretty sure that's the time) and also on 91.1 in the afternoon (not sure of the time) Anyway, I have found this program to be extremely helpful on many parenting subjects, all ages, (and marriage related subjects too). Check them out. They have lots of leads to books etc. on modesty and anything kid/family related.

My 10 yr. old son and I are currently reading Jim Burns book, The Purity Code (God's plan for sex and your body). It is for kids ages 10-14 and can be read with them or you can read it seperately and then talk about the different subjects. I am finding it extremely helpful in getting the dialogue rolling. There is a chapter called "modesty, flirting and how far is too far?" so maybe that book would be helpful. We are all in this together! We are all trying to raise good future spouses for each other's children right?!! GOOd for you and keep up the effort, mama!! I will too!! Love, K

I totally understand where you are coming from! I am a dance studio owner and we preach modest to the girls! Then we go to competitions and the other studios let their kids run around a hotel in sports bras and booty shorts...with no tights I might add!
You have to pick your battles, the tight tees arent too bad if they aren't big chested. We give the girls 2 choices to pick from that way they still feel as if they have some control over the situation. But keep puttin your foot down, if some of us keep doing that maybe it will catch on or our kids, or at least our kids will be the respectable ones!!! Good Luck!
D. Reichardt
Director of Dance Evolutions

Keep in mind that when you enroll your children in activities like cheerleading, you are in effect, sending them the message that it's perfectly acceptable to wear skimpy clothes, shake your behind in front of people, and otherwise call attention to your body. If that isn't what you want to teach them, reconsider that decision. Right now, you're sending mixed messages. If I were one of your daughters, I would be confused as to what you were really expecting of me.

Regardless of what we all wore in highschool, your kids are younger than that at this time.

There are tremendous amounts of hormones in our foods now (especially beef and pork products), and they contribute to early puberty. There are feminizing hormone disruptors in everything from air fresheners, to makeup, canned food linings, to vinyl and all kinds of other things we surround our lives with (it goes far beyond BPA baby bottles). These chemicals mess with the natural balance our bodies are supposed to have, and contribute to this problem. Then of course, you have the obvious cultural pressures, such as the difficulty in finding clothing for girls that are not downright seductive.

There are things you can do. Get rid of the intrusive hormones in your home (internet research can show you where they are). Turn off the tv. Continue with positive outside extracurricular activities, but choose them carefully. Children this age need no more than one or two such activities. Have a family game night once a week. Cook organic. Stop buying processed foods with ingredients you don't know.

Most of all, recognize that as tiring as it is, it's best for your daughters for you to continue letting them know when you find their attire unacceptable.

I have no advice for you, My daughter and I are going through the same thing, So if you get good advice let me know please....I think I have tried everything..lol