My son is 4 & 1/2 years old. He has always been a "happy go lucky" child who would normally respond to discipline quickly. Within the past couple weeks when he doesn't get his own way, he will throw a fit and start stamping his foot at me, swinging his arms trying to hit me, even what seems to me as growling at me. I understand that he may be in his "testing phase" but I don't quite know how to handle him when he acts out this way. When I tell him that he is punished, it only makes him more angry & the fit worsens. It also seems that he only does this when my boyfriend is not around. Lately, my son listens to him much better than to me. I don't know how to stop these fits of his or how to handle them....it's just not like my son to act this way. I NEED HELP!!!
Thank You to everyone who gave me advice. It seems that ignoring the tantrum is the answer.....thanks again!!! :o)
Hi K.!!
I have a 5 year old daughter. There is one rule that we go by:"if she throws a fit,she gets nothing" She gets sent to her room. When she stops crying, she can come out of her room She has to verbalize what she wants and...we can talk about it.
We usually both agree,that the fit wasn't really the best way for her to get what she wants.
It's hard for both of us when it happens, but it works.
Good luck,
L.
Hi I have a 3 year old daughter that is very independent. She likes to get her own way and when she doesn't she likes to throw a tantrum. I tell her that if she can't talk to me nicely then I am leaving the room. If she continues I leave the room. You would be surprised at how fast the tantrum stops when there is no audience around to watch it. She still has them on occasion but usually only when she is over tired now but the majority of them have stopped. I hope this helps.
well kirsten i am in hudson , ny i have 3 three children adn they throught tantrums too let them go sat it for like 5 mins and when they don;t see you are paying attention they will stop if not than take them sit them in time out where you can se them and tell them that they have to stay there until they realize what they are doing wrong
it has been my experience that at this age, a child cannot just calm down. My girl is now 6 1/2 and she still has issues with being able to calm down when she gets upset like this.Granted, she is so much better now compared to then, but she is still young, and doestn have total control over her emotins the way a child older than her has. The best thing to do when your son is acting this way is ignore him, and not discuss his issue further until he calms himself down. Go into another room, away from him, let him have his tantrum, and when he is calm, explain the punishment you have settled on, and more importantly, review with him WHY he is in trouble inthe first place. Children at 4 1/2 have very short attention spans, and quickly lose sight of why they are in trouble. Sit down with him and say "What did you do that got you in trouble? Why was that bad? This is why I don't want you to behave that way." And then give him his punishment.
If he continues to try and hurt you, you need to constrain him. wrap your arms around his arms while he is tryin to hit, and sit down with him. You dont want to hurt him, just keep him from hurting himself or you.
I would also suggest your boyfriend and you sit down together, adn make up a good behavior chart for your boy. Every time he behaves well, he gets a sticker. When he gets a certain amount of stickers, he can have a prize. This seems to work well.
goodluck.
liz
First make sure he is safe from really hurting himself but then let him have his tantrum without you paying him any mind. I mean totally ignore the behavor don't say a word or react in the slightest fashion. Once he realizes it has no effect on you it will stop. Good Luck. Mother of 2 boys 8 & 5 and a 1 yr old daughter.
Maybe it was not your son's way before but it is now so you have to handle it. Show him that he will not get his way by acting out. Isolate him. They do it for attention so give him the opposite of what he wants when he acts like that. My son did that and we did the isolation thing and it worked. I hope that works for you.
ignore ignore ignore it!!!
my son does the same thing. he's 3. and he already knows when he needs to throw a fit that i am going to ignore him so he tends to get over it much quicker. make sure he is safe of course otherwise just ignore it.
Have your tried ignoring his antrum. I know the first thought when he started doning it, you probably thought it was funny or the growling kinda cute. So maybe you laughed or growled back. But if he doesnt get a response from you negative or positive. he will stop.
