Talking CONSTANTLY

Updated on August 28, 2007
A.Y. asks from Houston, TX
8 answers

My son has always been very "spirited"....he's been "more" of everything. Requires more, wants more, loves more, gives more, more energy, exhausts his parents more, etc. He has always talked a lot, and at an early age with amazing grammar and vocabulary. Not bragging, but he blows people away with his smarts - I mention b/c this may be part of my issue's cause. Now at 3 years old he talks CONSTANTLY!!!! I'm not kidding. From the time he wakes until he finally passes out. It is driving us crazy and I feel terrible, so guilty for feeling that way. But he won't stop talking and he often repeats the same dogon sentences over and over and over, even if we answer or aknowledge.

It is actually comical sometimes because it is unreal how hopped up he is. Is this normal for an instense and spirited child....or do we need to worry about ADHD? Isn't he too young to worry about ADHD? I don't want to medicate a child who just happens to be a "Robin Williams" type. I haven't had luck finding info I want online, so I thought I need to ask real moms!
Thank you
A. - exhausted and insane mom

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M.D.

answers from Houston on

A.-
I've dealt with the very same things and thoughts that you have. ADD does run in my family, though medicating my brother actually made him legargic, so I worry about having to medicate mine, if it comes to it.

Anyway, mine talks or sings all the time too. However, at school, when they have her busy, she manages to stay quiet, until she's finished her work, then the chatting starts again.

I would look into "busy work" for him, something that has his focus for a while. Start small - look for 5 minutes worth of busy work and move up. At 3, mine was practing tracing of letters and shapes. She'd stay busy with this for a while. She's 5 now and loves the various workbooks (mazes, word find, color by number...etc.). I don't spend much on toys, but if there's a workbook we don't have, I always by it!

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D.Q.

answers from Sherman on

I have a "high spirited" 8 yr old and there are days I feel he talks constantly. But he has his quit times too. If you think your son has ADD/ADHD, have him checked out by the Dr. My nephew was diagnosed with ADHD and my sister (working with her Dr.)was able to not have him on a lot of medication but used the herbal/Alturnative medicine route. Good luck!

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K.L.

answers from Beaumont on

rofl!!! I think I might have the female version of your son! My youngest daughter (to be 4 in Nov) chatters....constantly!! She asks me the same question over and over. When I say we're going somewhere, she expects us to go right then. My other two children were nothing like this! She's nosey, whiney(which really annoys me), demanding, sweet, loving, and even challenging. I get the same feeling of guilt after being overwhelmed by this girl.

I love her with all of my heart. She does her best to annoy her brother and sister. She likes to be clingy at times. She has a wonderful pity act when she doesn't get what she wants. (LOL) In short, she is a normal 3 year-old. She would rather be in my room watching what I'm doing than in her room playing with her toys.

About the ADHD/ADD....don't worry about it. He's too young. You just have to direct all of that energy into a constructive avenue. THIS is the real challenge!! My daughter is now into coloring. She wants to go to daycare (her school). Have you thought about a play group or something along those lines? Give your son someone to talk to...give yourself a little break.

If you are working from home, your husband is at home, and your son is at home...when do you get breathing room from each other? Anyone would start feeling a little crazed without a break. I think that's why I'm glad my kids are going to school and daycare. I get some time to be an adult...even if it's just for a couple of hours. It's not that I don't love them and enjoy being around them...sometimes you just need a little breathing room.

PLEASE DO NOT PUT YOUR CHILD ON DRUGS FOR ADD/ADHD!!!!! Look for other options. When he starts school, do not worry if he doesn't settle down! Don't let the school tell you that he needs meds! I'm speaking from personal experience. My son has had adverse reactions due to ADD meds.

When you get to feeling crazed...step outside and breathe. Take a one or two minute break until you are ready to deal with his energy. Keep a journal of his exploits to give to him later. For when he has children....he'll need to know how to deal with the same energy. LOL

Good Luck and may you have much laughter,
K. L.

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L.G.

answers from Houston on

I would say to talk to his doctor about the ADD/ADHD. But I won't medicate him unless he really need it. How is he when he is eating? Talking or does he eat. Maybe he feels like he needs your attention. And talking gives him the attention either negative or positive he's getting your ATTENTION. I would suggest that you make a chart for everything you are going to do for the day and what he should be doing.
Start with breakfast him helping out, then story time but you/hubby reading to him and tell him if he talks during you reading you aren't going to continue aftering you read ask him open end question not yes or no question why do you think "spot" was running away. Then let him run outside for a while. Have down time- ask him to lay down quitely and is he gets up he won't be able to have a "special" snack after quite time. Buy him games and puzzles. Have game time. Then have art time. Yes I know you have things you have to do spending a little time telling him what he has to do then continue what you need to do.
Does this help??
Hope so...
Have fun with your little talker.
Side not my little girls 2 and 3 are always talking but whats good is they have each other. They share a room and I hear talking sometimes at like 2am I freak out sometimes but they will just say to each go back to sleep MOM and DAD will get mad so go back to sleep... okay Belle. They are funny.
Good Luck
~Leti

1 mom found this helpful
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C.A.

answers from Houston on

Have you had him evaluated? If you are concerned, please do so, don't wait cause it will only get worse. If you want a referral to someone that can do a good eval, let me know. It sounds like your son has some of the same traits my son has and he has been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. Good luck and if you need anything, let me know.

C.

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C.C.

answers from Houston on

If you are worried, you should consult an expert. Mom's are a good source of information, but your child and your situation is not the same as anyone else's. I would not put too much time, money, or emotional effort into alternative kinds of therapies like herbs. Many pediatricians do not have particular expertise in ADHD and similar conditions. Texas Children's Hospital or a developmental physician or a psychiatrist who specializes in children should be your primary resource. Any of these kinds of conditions change over time and you should be prepared to keep in continuing contact with the professional you work with.

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T.C.

answers from Houston on

Sounds like my son, who was diagnosed with ADHD at 3. He began taking ritalin at 4 because his inability to control his impulses was getting him into trouble at daycare. He use to cry on the way home from daycare and say "I don't wanna be bad. I wanna be good"
It was heartbreaking because I knew he truly couldn't help it. After starting his medicine, he was able to make friends, stay out of trouble and his fine motor skills improved. I'm not trying to say to put your son on medication, but I urge you not to be opposed to (when he's older) it if he is in fact ADHD because it can changes his life. I've taught special education for 10 years and I've seen the dramatic changes in students once they start receiving treatment as well as the tragedy of those who don't. Also, ADHD is highly associated with high IQ, but sometimes the ADHD gets in the way of reaching full potential. Once treated however, these kids do amazing things. They are very creative. Is your son extra sensitive and seem to be attuned to others' emotions? This is another characteristic of ADHD. Many people don't realize that there are postive aspects to it as well. Feel free to contact be if I can be of further help or if you just need to talk to something who's been there (and is still there)

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S.S.

answers from Houston on

Hi A.,
Let me just tell you that you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I am a mother of a very spirited three year old as well and he is the same exact way. I have my doubts about the ADHD thing..but I hardly think that any disease is causing this. I have studied about ADHD and this is definitely NOT that. They're just curious (like George!) and want to know every single thing that they possibly can know in a very short amount of time (why? why? why? WHY?) I feel your pain, sometimes I just start repeating what he's saying and that'll get him off the subject (sometimes). So I suggest you take out your camcorder and cherish these moments, because as they always say, later on, we're probably going to have a tough time getting THEM to talk to US ( which I hope never happens to either of us!) so just breathe, and maybe give him some chamomile tea..lol. you never know. GOOD LUCK!

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