Talk, Talk, Talk....

One of the sleep methods I learned about said that every time a child learns a new skill the sleep routine changes. It is just a phase and this too shall pass! Maybe he likes the alone time!

my daughter does the same thing. just lays in her bed and talks, practices all the words she is learning. It happens before bed, in the morning, after naps (even short ones)...
I think they are just excited about learning new things and practicing saying them. No worries.

Ok before you think that I am some kind of crazy... hear me out! OK? have you listened in on him to see what he is talking about? does it sound like he is talking "TO" someone? does it sound like one half of an 18 mth old conversation? Or is it just babbling? If it sounds like he may be talking to someone, has anyone close in your life passed away? or have you had a mis-carriage? Young children are very open to the spiritual world, they haven't learned not to believe in what they see or hear as real! It is possible that he is having a conversation with a spirit, yes I am talking about ghosts. they are not a creepy thing or anything to be feared, He may even be able to see his guardian angels. Have you ever tried going in and asking him "Who" he is talking to? Don't disregard if he says that he is talking to someone! Don't be afraid and please don't tell him that he is imagining it, that will close the door for him or at the very least make him afraid to talk to you about it as he senses your disapproval! Your boy could be the next John Edwards! never deny a gift from God! OF course it is also possible that he is just talking to himself as a means of entertainment until he falls asleep, but I wanted you to be open to the idea that it could be something more, and nothing to be afraid of. Many blessings to you both. feel free to contact me if you have any questions or insights into this possibility. S.

A.,

It is perfectly normal for him to do that. My son does the same thing and he's 3 years old. He is using his imagination. He is probably very bright. Keep reading to him:)

Peace,
C.

My son is now 10. He started out as a toddler talking himself to sleep, then singing, and now he either talks, sings or reads until he falls asleep. A lot of extremely bright children do this, and it continues into adulthood. Their brains do not turn off so easily and need time to wind down. Your child is perfectly normal.

According to child development theorists and practitioners, including Dr. T. Berry Brazelton in his groundbreaking book series, Touchpoints, your child is practicing what he is developmentally mastering---talking!! Just as when he began to pull up he may have done that in the night at his cribside over and over again. It is normal. It is called a period of disorganization, and he will settle down again.

Hi A., I am a grandmother and a nurse. My infants [under three] went to bed at 6pm and were awake at 6am. Then my children continued to get up at 6am thru high school -- of course it was harder the older they got! So your son's bedtime and morning time sound normal to me.
His chattering to himself is also normal, and it is great stimulation for his imagination. Imagination it the brains creative side vs the logical side which will dominate more of his adult life. Let him chatter and fall asleep naturally. We all have a tendency to chatter in our minds when we first lay down to sleep, his just comes out loud by speaking instead of just thinking. Normal
Hang in there Mom, your doing just fine,

Aggie

A.,
My 4 year old does the same thing...and has ever since he was a baby actually. I don't worry about it and count my blessings that for the most part he stays in his room and I didn't have to rock him to sleep for an hour every night. You have a wonderful little independent boy probably with a very creative mind developing! You can't stop it so enjoy listening to him!

I didn't read the other's responces but I would think it's just something temporary. When he hits another growing spirt he probably start sleeping more again. What I really want to tell you is feel so lucky that you have a boy who is verbal that will be a great tool throughout life. My son and I have two nephews that are verbal. Well now that some of these are grown men now it is really good that these guys will still talk about what's bothering them and will talk about things and not be closed up. In fact I have a daughter who is closed up and my youngest son is verbal. I'm telling you I know just how the little guy thinks about stuff, my oldest son na he's not verbal and the daughter who is closed up forget it talk about the weather and fun things and it will be okay. My other daughter is like my son, come home tell you all about their day, what's on their mind ect. Its great, so just think about that and this other stuff I'm sure is just a temporary thing, hopefully right, kids can be a handful when they don't get their nap out.

My middle daughter did this also. We noticed that when we listened at the door, she was saying words that we had not heard her say otherwise. We concluded that she was practicing new words and how she could use them. As she got older we realized that this talking was only the tip of the iceberg. She turned out to be my most verbal child.
T. N.

My punkin has been doing this for quite some time, a year or more and he's 3 1/2. It's so precious - I've sat outside his room silently listening to him and keep telling myself I need to record it. Some of the things he says amaze me because he pulls from his memory of things we've done, places we've been, people in our lives. And then sometimes it's made up stuff and that usually makes me giggle so much I have to go downstairs. He rarely asks to go to bed and some nights he downright fights it but once he's there, depending on how tired he really is, he'll talk between 10 minutes to over an hour. He averages 9 hours of sleep a night during the week, plus a 2 hour nap at daycare. On the weekends I let him sleep until he wakes up and that's usually 11 to 12 hours, plus we try for a 1 or 2 hour nap on Saturday, but he's not always happy to do that so it's kind of hit or miss.

I do have to say I have found that the more physically active he is during the day the faster he falls asleep at night and vice versa. I had one Saturday recently where I had a bunch to do and I let him watch tv or his movies all day. That night he was up half the night and it was a terrible fight to get him upstairs even. I learned a good lesson that day! I also try to make it a point to do something really physical on Sunday after church since Sunday's tend to be a very low activity day and that has really helped him get to sleep early on Sunday nights. We either hit the neighborhood pool, ride bikes or he gets to run through the sprinklers in our yard. If it's raining we chase each other around the house, hide from monsters or some other kind of pretend play. Best wishes from a fellow worry-wart!

A.,
First of all, I love how you titled this! Funny. Second, let me say that I'd be more worried that he WANTS to go to bed than the fact that he talks to himself! So what? Let him talk. He's going to bed for you which is more than any other woman on the planet could ask for!
Two of my kids where big talkers and just laid in bed and chit-chatted away all the time. It really isn't unusual at all. He probably falls asleep talking and wakes up talking ~ right? Totally normal, I promise! Especially if this is an "only child". My oldest did this until my second was born ~ at that time he was 2 1/2. Then my youngest did this because she was 12 years younger than the oldest, (technically an only child). My second son did not do this so much because he had his brother to talk to. ~ But he was chatty with him! Normal!
I think this might just be a phase. If you are REALLY concerned then I would address this with his pediatrician.
Good luck and enjoy him ~ God created a great little man for you, watch him in wonder!
D.

It sounds like he likes sound and that it is soothing him at bedtime. I would try to put a cd player in his room with some classical or new-age music. It is great that he is "talking" he's just going over what he's heard during the day. Good luck with all!

I have read that if it takes a child over an hour to fall asleep it may mean he is overtired. You might try putting him to be a bit earlier, or giving him more of a chance to wind down before bed and nap, or both. Good luck!

I think this is normal. My daughter is 2 and she still does it. My thoughts are that even though they are tired, their little brains are still in overdrive and sometimes it's just nice to have some quiet time by yourself just to be with your thoughts. They're no different than us really. My daughter will sometimes have been asleep for 3 to 4 hours and all of a sudden we'll hear her burst out with laughter like she's in there cracking herself up! Pretty funny stuff. I'm sure he's just trying to wind himself down from the day.

It's definitely normal. I have a 2 1/2 yo that does the same thing. Some days she is awake after 1 1/2 hours after her bedtime.

Sounds like it's pretty normal for some kids...my daughter doesn't really do this, not for that long, at least. For her, if she has trouble falling asleep, if she wakes up prematurely in the morning and for her naps, that probably means she's teething. Sleep disturbance was usually my first clue (and sometimes my only clue) that she was getting a tooth. See if you can spot an incoming tooth! Take care!

A.,
My son is almost 17 months and has started doing the same thing. It is so funny to hear him laughing. I so wish I had a video monitor to see what he is doing during this time. So I am sure this is totally normal since both boys are around the same age and sleeping normally.

About the sleeping: My son was going to sleep (easily) at 7:30 but I noticed a trend of him waking up early (before 7am)and pretty cranky, so I moved his bedtime a little bit earlier and that has really helped. He is now waking up at 7am or a little after that(happy and of course talking) and taking really good naps (1 1/2 to 3 hours). Maybe try moving his bedtime a little earlier. I know 7pm already seems early but even fifteen minutes earlier might help. This is what the sleep book that I follow suggests. I really recommed the book since it has great solutions for all sorts of sleep problems for all ages. It is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, MD.
Hope this helps.

Normal. My son would go to bed at 8 and be up talking to himself and his stuffed friends until 9:30 or 10. He started it around age 21 months and still does it at 2 1/2. He probably tells you that he wants to go to bed because he looks forward to his "practice time". I was told not to bother them when they are talking alone in bed. They are experimenting. We even hear my son making up songs in bed at night about all kinds of things.

Your darling boy is talking to himself or perhaps an imaginary friend. Have you asked him who he is talking to? If he names someone, do not tell him nobody is there or to stop talking. At his age he is practicing his vocabulary and putting his thoughts together. Your son is a bright little boy. Give yourself credit for being a loving mommy. :)

Hello A.,
My son is 21 months and he sleeps 8-6 most nights, but he goes to bed as early as 7 and stays in bed as late as 7. He talks and sings and plays with his toys. I think he just likes the time to himself. His naps range from 1-3 hours and seem to cycle with growth spurts. I worried when he only slept an hour, but he made up for it later in the month by sleeping 3. It sounds to me like your son is normal. If you are still concerned in a couple of weeks that he isn't getting enough sleep, maybe talk to your doctor?
Best,
A.

This is just a phase. My second child did this around the same time period. Just let him talk and talk and talk. Read him a book and let him READ too, ya know, ask him questions about what you are reading. Show him some of the words he is saying. Tire out his mind before he actually goes to bed. I always told my boys to go to bed, they could stay awake and play in bed. Eventually he will go to sleep. I had to cut out the afternoon nap too. Cranky, it will pass.

Consider yourself lucky. I think some of the best conversations you'll ever have with your kids happen at this hour. By the time they hit 5 you know very little about what goes on inside their heads. They know by then not to bother you when you're busy (all day) and they don't talk when they are busy (all day) so when they settle in and start stalling sleep, they tell you all the things they'd never open up about otherwise. Enjoy it and embrace it as a gift in your relationship with your little companion. It will fill your heart with joy and it is one of the best opportunities to listen and parent that you will ever have. Make it a habit!

Enjoy!

I'm going to chime in with the other moms saying that his behaviour is fine - normal even.
My 4yr old talks a lot before going to bed. Not about anything in particular, just spouting :-)
My 19m old sings himself to sleep :-) which my #1 did until she was 3yrs old.
And honestly, I talk a lot before falling asleep too. For me, it helps clear my mind so that I *can* fall asleep more quickly.

hth
K., mama to
Catherine, 4.5y
Samuel, 19m

My son is 3yrs. old and he does the same thing!! However, he does not want to go to bed early. It takes over an hour for him to fall asleep just because he is busy talking and laughing. I just let him talk and talk until he talks himself to sleep.

He does not take naps anymore, and when he does, it is the same process. So if you find something that works, please let me know too.

best of luck to you,

L

Both of our kids did this...not for an hour, but both would talk after laying down when they were in the earlier stages of language expression. We called it an "information dump"...it felt like they were saying all the words/phrases they knew, especially what they'd learned that day, in order to clear their minds for sleep. Or maybe to practice...we just though it was really cute!

However, if it's impacting his sleep that much, that's tough. Not sure what to do about that. Maybe let him chat for 15 minutes or so, then go remind him it's time to sleep? Something as simple as putting your head in and saying "shhhh" or something like that might work. Depends on your kid and routine, though...I know that would make it worse for some kids!

Also, maybe try a noise generator, fan, and/or music if you don't have those in his room already. Maybe that will settle him down a little sooner...he might just like the sound of his own voice!

It's a cute phase, and just a phase, and a good one on most levels...so enjoy that part of it!