My best friend from growing up Julie, is getting married for the second time. She lives in Chicago, and I am in CA. She had kids her young, and now her kids are 11, 15 & 16. Her fiancee has kids too but they are in high school and college. At any rate, she is having her wedding at a beautiful resort in Mayan Riveria that costs (yes) about $600 a night and it is all inclusive. It is not, in the slightest, young child friendly. It is a couply resort and due to the economy, children are welcome but not encouraged. My husband and I have a little boy who is four. Julie has told me, that she does not want him at the ceremony. I am really surprised by this, since her kids will be there but I can understand her ceremony not being interrupted by a four year old.I have to say, I am kind of miffed by this since when I got married seven years ago, her kids were invited but she chose not bring them. I looked at the hotel in Cauncun online next door (1/6 of a mile) that is FAMILY FRIENDLY. We also thought about bringing down a lady who calls herself the Granny Nanny and staying at the family friendly hotel. When I brought this up to Julie, she asked why weren't we staying at her hotel? Or why don't we bring the granny nanny to her hotel and stay there.? I would but it is so expensive and he would have nothing to do, I explained. Sometimes I think Julie perceives us really well off and we are not at this time. I talked to another friend about this, and she said I should just try to leave my little one at home with the Granny Nanny and just go for 2-3 days and stay at her hotel. I love my Granny Nanny but I have so much anxiety about flying and leaving him at home, I told my husband if we do that, we will take separate planes. (Look what happenned to the Polish President and his wife.) I also feel like Julie is not very appreciative about us coming at all. It is almost like she expects it since she came to my wedding. Anyway, any advice is much appreciated....thanks.
PS My husband would love us to get away and it is also our 7th anniversary-Julie picked my wedding day...
I'd stay at the child friendly hotel and bring your Granny Nanny with. That way ya'll could still have adult time, but without leaving your little boy behind.
I suggest leaving your son at home. Book a hotel that is affordable and go to the wedding only.Spend the rest of the time enjoying your husband and the time away from your son.
We went to a wedding with my then 1 year old and 11 year old in a similar "adult friendly" destination - Key West. Although kids were welcome, no one else took their kids. It was so much work to find things for the kids to do, and I missed out on all the other activities of the weekend. If I were to do it again, I would take a nanny. My daughter was still nursing, so I could not leave her at home. It is hard to entertain kids in party towns, especially when you are at an event that discourages it. Even having dinner with our friends was out because the adults went out late, too late to make the kids wait to eat. We spent a ton of money to get there, everything was RIDICULOUSLY expensive there, and we were totally zapped when we got home. Only you can decide what is best for you (I totally understand the anxiety of leaving w/out the kids) but I would not do it again.
I agree with 5'Sthenew4, just get away. Since your DH is up for it, go, enjoy the all inclusive resort and have some adult fun.
I agree that your friend IS being rather insensitive. I'd think she could be a little more understanding ESPECIALLY because this is her second wedding...I mean come on relax a little bit!
However, despite how she's acting, it sounds like your DH would appreciate a weekend away. And just because you're going on vacation doesn't mean your son just has to sit at home pining for your return. Maybe Granny Nanny could take him to the zoo or do some fun, out of the ordinary things?
If this an adult getaway I'd encourage you to take the plane with your husband. He is probably dying for your attention too! Having a four year old around is hard on the hubbies too! Try to relax. Your son will be fine. You and your husband will have some much needed alone time. And just remember, just because it's your friends' destination wedding DOES NOT mean that you need to spend every waking moment with her or doing what she wants. It's your money, your vacation and you just HAPPEN to be going to her wedding ceremony.
Hmmm...let's look at it from the child's eye view...4-year olds don't travel so easily and he will have you popping in and out of his day, which is hard enough even in a strange place...he cannot do everything with you...he might enjoy the pool but you live in CA so that's not so very exotic...gastrointestinal things tend to strike in Mexico, adults handle them easier...Granny Nanny is very nice no matter where she is...
Then, from your couple perspective...leaving him with Granny Nanny in CA is cheaper all around...it IS your anniversary and there may be lots of good opportunities to drink fruity drinks, sleep in, dance until late...
Maybe the key to happiness coincides with what Bridezilla wants anyway, not that you should be striving to please her, but if it's a happy coincidence, no harm?
Why are you still friends with this woman? You don't seem to share
family values. Isn't marriage about families?
Why not just go to a fun place with your husband and little boy?
For sure don't leave you little one alone so Mommie and Daddy can go
to a wedding that isn't for children.
B. v. O.
Why don't you go alone? You can spend one on one time with your friend, hang out with old friends and enjoy a couple of days not being "responsible". I wouldn't take my 4 year old to a couples resort if only because it would annoy the other guests.
That is.....if you really want to go. It sounds like from your post that you might not really be into it.
I had to deal with a wedding like that once. We're not really friends anymore.
When my sister got married last September at a super fancy expensive hotel in the Big Island, I went -- but my husband and I booked a condo nearby. You have to do what's right for you and yours. She doesn't live with you, there's really nothing she can do.
Plus, if you bring Granny Nanny and stay at the family friendly hotel, it'll be more like a nice anniversary trip for you guys, oh, and that wedding...
Bring your little one and Grannie Nannie and stay in your choice of hotel. It's not like she is going to be paying for your room or bringing you drinks in bed personally, so why should she care if you are down the hallways (which ewwww, I would hate that anyways) or a mile down the road?
Besides, you can have a romantic vacation with your husband during the wedding and reception when your little one is being watched, and a family vacation at the same time! You can get two hotel rooms if you want even.
Not everyone has the opportunity to go to Cancun any time they want, so if she throws a hissy fit because you want to enjoy yourself for the vacation you are sacrificing time and money for, then don't go and mail her the red toaster from Target that Bridezilla registered for.
*BUT if this is more about anxiety of leaving your little one, then go and enjoy yourself and call him 4 times a day and know he is in good hands!!
with all the uprising in mexico, i wouldn't go to mexico AT ALL right now, and i DEFINITELY would not bring my child there! we have travelled and brought our kids to mexico in the past, but i would not travel there myself now without a compelling reason(such as the reason you are going), and again, i would strongly advise against bringing your child. if she were a close friend of mine, i would consider making a trip for my husband and myself out of it if it were in my budget. and i wouldn't travel on separate flights, air travel is FAR more safe than travel by car, spend that time together to prepare for your trip and to decompress from it at the end. leave your little boy at home, and try to have a good time!
Have you asked your friend if there are other families with younger children invited to the wedding? One idea is to contact them and all get together with a nanny service (which all bigger resorts have) for the wedding night. I've been to two weddings with my four year old and solved it like this both times. We had a wonderful time both times. Here is a great wedding baby sitting service that you could forward to your friend: http://www.la-weddingsitter.com/LA%20Wedding%20Sitter/Wel...
One life to live! Do what you think is best and get on with your day! Make a decision and carry on!
I know it would be tough, but I would take the opportunity for some alone. adult time, with my hubby. We left our son for a vacation and I was very apprehensive. However, it aloud us to reconnect and rediscover our pre-baby relationship. It will be a totally different trip if you take the little one. I think perhaps your friend thinks it is a good excuse for you to get away as well. Her kids are much older and self sufficient so they can entertain each other. A destination wedding is much different then a regular wedding and who knows what other activities you may have to miss. You are a really good friend for considering making the trip. Hope you have a good time!
Go your son willsurvive it may also give your marriage a unexpected lift raised children now married 61 years have fun while you can you dont know what happens tomorrow A. no hills
I would not go to the wedding at all. Mexico is not very safe right now and I couldn't leave my kids at home ( or want to). Whatever you decide, do whats best for you and your family.
First let you friend know how you feel about not taking your four year old, do it in a nice way, second let the nanny or family if you have any around take care of your child and get away, stay at the other hotel have have a great time with friends and your husband. If you have to bring your son, explain to your friend that the expence of going was out of your buget and that the other hotel won't set you back as much, enjou, relax and have a great time.
You know, Julie should just be happy that you will be able to attend her wedding. If she's not paying the $600 a night for you to stay at "her" hotel, then by all means get a cheaper one for you and your family. Bring the Nanny because I agree your son doesn't need to be at the wedding, because it sounds like it's maining geared towards adults. Fly out on the same plane because it could end up the other way around. Wouldn't you rather be with your whole family? If it becomes too much, then don't go, but it is an anniversary trip as well :)
Take a trip just you and your hubby. You will not regret it. We have gone to Mexico in the Mayan Riveria twice last year, and we are going again in August.
