Hi Mamas (and Papas!) My hubby's Grandma is 92 and still living in her home. I love her to death, she is the last of either of our Grandparents. My hubby's parents had a falling out with Grandma several years ago and have nothing to do with her. Her only other child doesn't live in the area so the brunt of taking care of her falls to my hubby and his two sisters. Naturally Grandma's got some health issues and she was in and out of the hospital for a while. While she was in the hospital and subsequent round of rehab, we took her dog into our home and took care of her. Grandma LOVES her puppy! She's her baby and she worries over what will happen to her pup after she's gone. She asked us if we would take the dog after she dies. Of course, we agreed. The only problem is that our yard isn't fenced. We have two dogs that are trained to stay in our yard, but we have to take her dog out on a leash or she makes a run for it! I didn't believe her but i found out the hard way that little, fat dogs can and will indeed run away and QUICKLY!! LOL
Sooooo Grandma has quite a bit of money, and since we are willing to take her dog, she wants to give us money NOW to fence in our yard. Her only condidtion is that we use the fencing co of the son of a lady that comes in and helps her throughout the week. She wants to do this now,even though she may welll outlive this dog...heck the last TWO she's had she outlived (and she thought she wouldn't) I feel really very badly about taking money for a fence from her, even if its for her dog. I don't think she needs to do it, and frankly it makes me a little uncomfortable. My hubby is very gung ho, ready to call the fence guy and get it done.
Sooooooo what are your thoughts mama's? Could we afford a fence, maybe, but it's not top on my list of things I want to do for our house. Should I let her do this, though I don't feel very comfortable with it, since hubby's all for it?
Awwwww *tears* I guess I really never looked at it from her perspective. I just worried about her/others thinking we were "taking" her money. We live in a subdivison that can't just have a chain link fence...so it won't be cheap. I just didn't think about her side and I want to make sure she knows I don't love her for her money!!!! I love her like she's ALWAYS been my Grandma. Yes, she is of sound mind and she offered to pay for the fence AFTER we said we'd take her. Heck, I've promised the woman since before I married my hubby I'd take care of her dogs. I know I'd want someone to do it for me. Thanks for the perspective everyone!!
It will make her feel better if you do it. I would respect her wishes (especially since it's something good for everyone!) and get it done.
I was always my grandma's favorite pretty much because I was there as much as possible. She bought me my first car, and the second....
I find it strange that when people get older people start looking at their gifts as a chunk of their inheritance. You are not taking grandma's money, you are accepting a gift.
Sounds like this is something that is important to her. She wants to make sure if something happens her baby is taken care of with as little stress to ya'll as possible. I would let her do this. It sounds like she's trying to help you out as well as help out the ladys son that helps take care of her.
Good luck and God Bless!
If it brings her comfort to know that her dog will have a home with a fence - go for it. I am assuming she is of sound mind, and since her dog is so important to her try not to let it bother you. Also since your husband is on board, and it is his Gram, I would say that is yet another reason to just go with it.
Good luck!
I say let her do it. It will make Grandma happy, and I'm sure she knows that you all take good care of her puppy and all but I am sure that it would ease her mind if you had a fence. Thus why she wants to pay for it, because it is her puppy.
If she wants to do it, let her! :)
Just accept and say thank you!
Put yourself in her position. It will make her feel good to do this. She'll be helping out the woman that helps her through giving business to her son. She'll be helping you and her grandson out by improving your property and she will have the piece of mind from knowing her beloved dog is well taken care of with the least amount of trouble for you.
When people get old and know they won't be around much longer they often want to share what they have immediately. Seeing and hearing about the benefit her money is giving people (and animals) will make her feel good.
Be gracious, accept her gift and enjoy your new fenced yard!
Take her money to care for her dog. If you were 92 and desperately want someone to take care of your dog, but they needed a fence to properly do so, wouldn't you? She is 92 and has money she will never use once she's gone, let her decide what it goes too.
She can't take the money or the dog with her when she's gone.
My husbands grandmother rains money on us all the time, I'm not going to tell someone who has their wits about them what they can and can't buy, just be grateful
Get the fence.
You aren't "taking" her money. She's making arrangements. Think of it like this - she's buying "insurance" for her dog. May not need it. Heck, dog could get hit by a bus if he keeps escaping. But she's buying a fence for her dog - it just so happens to be YOUR backyard, because you're taking in the dog (if needed).
It's not because you're owed. It's not because you visit. It's because you said yes to taking care of her pet.
Do you WANT a fence? If so, let her do it! (I assume she is of sound mind...).
Sounds like if she outlives this O., she's going to get another.
I think it's sweet when people make plans for their pets when they're older.
My mom promised my grandmother that she would take care of her dog after she was gone, even though she was not a "dog person" and she did. I'm sure it was a relief for my grandmother to know that her dog would be well cared for.
You won't be "taking" the money. The people who build the fence will be taking the money. This will make her feel so much better and give her peace of mind.
You are wise to go by all the subdivision's rules - make sure you share these rules with the people doing the building.
Dawn
If it's what she wants and will make her more relaxed and comfortable, and if she has enough money that it wouldn't be a problem, then tell her you'll go in half with her on the fence and go ahead and get it done. That way if she has to go into the hospital again, she can be comfortable knowing that her baby is in a fenced in yard. Even if she outlives the dog, she may need you to board it on occasion for whatever reason and this way she can feel like the dog is safe AND that she's not burdening you since she paid for half of the fence.
I say whatever grandma wants, grandma gets! She's earned it after 92 years!
I think you should let her do it. It will make her feel better, and you get a free fence. It's a win-win! She can't take her money with her, after all. :)
I agree with Kari F. Don't look at it as you are depriving her of money. Look at it as you are helping her with her wishes for you and her dog.
Good luck to you and yours.
I think she's thinking about the future of her doggie, and that you guys could use the fence. I'd say do it as long as you know she has the money for it and it's not gonna hurt her financially. What a great gift.
She just wants to know her baby will be safe in the event that something happens to her. It would be a comfort to her to know that your yard is safely fenced, and that you could swoop in and take care of her little dog at a moment's notice. My grandmother had a pulmonary embolism (and lived through it!!), and as the paramedics were loading her into the ambulance, she kept saying, "But the dog is in the house! Someone has to put the dog out into the yard!" and the paramedics were telling her, "Ma'am, if we don't get you to the hospital in the next 5 minutes, you're going to die! We can't stop to put your dog out!" She finally got them to call my aunt to come put the dog out - but it's crazy that that was the first and most important thought in her mind at a time when she was 5 minutes from dying! So, I can understand your grandma's insistence on installing a fence for you. She just wants some peace of mind.
I would go ahead with it. If you are still feelilng a bit hesitant, maybe make sure dinner for a couple of days or have her over. It will make hew feel better and she will, as mentioned, feel less stress about leaving her baby.
Now if you were asking if you should tell grandma to pay for it, that's another story.
I think as she ages she is going to need dog sitters even more often. She knows this and is making arrangements for her baby to have a safe place to stay when she isn't there. I would not just hire the guy and spend whatever. I would sit down with her after finding out if there are community regulations about what kind of fence you can have, if it has to be stockade or cyclone or some other kind. I would also make sure with the city building code people that this would work.
After all that is done then I would tell her what I found out. I would also get an estimate for at least one other person so I would know if this guy was doing her a good deed or overpriced. She can always choose him regardless but still, if he is thousands of dollars over your highest bidder then he is not a fair person.
I would not insist on using anyone I got an estimate from either if they are even close to the same. That way she can help her friends family too.
