Taking Away the Pacifier... - Norfolk,VA

My situation was reverse, my first son loved his pacifier (only at bed) , and the second never did. We did not try to take the pacifier away until the first one was almost 4. We were going to do it earlier, but I was pregnant with #2, and didn't want to deal with too many changes. I had a plan in place and had told my son that the easter bunny collected pacifiers from bigger kids to bring to the little babies, so when he was ready we would collect all his pacifiers and mail them to the easter bunny, and then the easter bunny would leave a present in exchange. I was planning on a small toy, but as I spun this tale, my son told "Oh yeah- he is going to bring me a green wagon". I told him this story around Christmas time, and reminded him of in January, so he knew in advance. But then I was pregnant, and the whole easter thing didn't happen. My bad. Well, then when I went to the hospital in August, son #1 went to stay with his Aunt, who simply didn't give him the pacifer, and it took a couple of days for him to even ask and she said he hadn't needed it. So when he got home, I just never gave it to him and we did the easter bunny thing right away (I had bought the wagon a long time earlier). Even though it was August, didn't phase my son and he bought it hook line and sinker. We put made a box, gathered all the pacifiers in the house, and put the box in the mailbox late in the day (and snuck it out at night). I left a big note in the box the next morning that he then went and "found" and it gave him directions to his wagon.
That was it, no tears, no fussing. He never looked back.

I got the idea from my friend, who used this same scheme (at easter time) with her two year old and it worked for her too.

Hope that helps.

My daughter was two when she stopped using her pacifier and that was only because she kept losing them so the last one she lost we said forget it. It took some adjusting but she overcame.

Hi H.! I really need to give you my advice on this issue. I have two girls, ages 5 and 7. When my 7 year old was 9 months she stayed at Grandma's for 5 days while we were away. Grandma lost the pacifier and never bothered to go get another one. When we got home the baby had simply given it up. I was actually very happy about it - I figured that was one less thing I'd have to worry about later on. She then began to suck her thumb to sooth herself (which, at 9 months, was cute) Problem is, she has never stopped sucking that thumb. We are watching a video as I type this and my 7 year old is sitting on the couch sucking away at her thumb!! When my 5 year old was a baby she also loved the pacifier and didn't give it up until she was bout 2 1/2 (when the pacifier fairy came and took them all away and left her a small toy) Taking away the pacifier was not traumatic at all. She really only used it at night by that point. And, she was old enough that she just never turned to thumb sucking. So now, I have a real problem with my older one. A lot of times she doesn't even realizes she's doing it until I tell her to get it out of her mouth! I fear a life time of orthodontic visits with that kid! So, here is my advice - let your baby suck the pacifier in order to possibly prevent him from becoming a thumb sucker. Taking the pacifier away when they're old enough usually isn't a big deal (in my experience and from what I've heard from friends) You can take away the pacifier, you can't take away the thumb! Good luck :)

At my daughter's 2 year well baby appt, her doctor told me that it was time to get rid of the binky. I was like..."ARE YOU KIDDING?!?" That thing was attached to her. Really just for soothing her when she would cry or when she went to bed. But, it was actually a lot easier than I thought. At that time, she had just learned what a bird says ("tweet, tweet") and so, one day, we just took it away from her, cold-turkey and if she asked for it, we told her the tweet-tweet came and took it away. She didn't fuss for it or anything. Everynow and then, in the beginning, she would ask for it when she cried, but we'd always say the tweet-tweet came and took it away. After about a week, she was fine and no more binky. Don't stress out about hurrying up to get rid of it. You already limit his use of it and that's a start. I'd say, reevaluate the situation at a year and if it's not comfortable, try at two years. DOn't stress out about it. :-) Good luck!

Hi H.! I am also a SAHM and navy wife with a husband currently deployed My advice with the pacifier is to go cold turkery. I have a 3 year old who was very attached to her binky. Around the time that she was a year old I was tired of keeping track of them. One night my husband and I couldn't find a pacifier for bedtime. We decided then and there she was done with them. That first night was rough but every night after that got easier. After about 3 or 4 nights, she didn't even care anymore.
Good luck with your little one!

mine was 3. i like the fact that my kids have something they can use to comfort themselves which keeps them happy and in return keeps me sain. you do what you want to because it works for you and yours not because a dr says you should. if its not hurting them to have the paci (messing up their teeth) then let them have it a bit longer. i definetly agree with only letting them have it when they are tired as thats the reason for keeping it around but as they grow you make it their responsibility to keep track of it. right around the time my oldest turned 3 i took all the pacis away and she asked for them twice and that was it. my second child has a blanket she loves and likes to have her cup to hold...not sure when i will get rid of these but sense they have no health issues like a paci can cause with the teeth i probably wont push the issue.

Starting at about a year we only allowed pacifiers for naptime, bed time and long car rides. At 18 months, we took them away all together and made sure that his favorite stuffed animal was in his crib with him for bed/nap and we "distracted" him for long car rides with movies/cartoons on the minivan DVD player.

HI,
taking the pacifier is very different with every child. For my older daughter she was around 2,5 years old when we cut the tip off the paci. she knew that paci had an ouchi, she slept with paci in her hand and then she threw it away!! then with my second child, he was around 10 months old, used it only for night time. we just slowly started to forget to give it to him, and he never asked or cried for paci. and that was it!!
So good luck, but i think it's better to go ahead and take it away now then later.

I took away my daughter's at 9 months as well. I don't want to be rude, but it drives me nuts to see kids old enough to talk with pacifiers. Anyway, my daughter also only used it to sleep. One day I just took it away cold turkey. It really sucked for about 3 days. She would cry and have a hard time going to sleep. but after those 3 days, it was done. She was young enough that she forgot all about it. I recomend this way. It is hard for a coupld days, but then you are done, and he is over it. The younger you do it, the less time it will take because his memory only goes back so far. Good luck!

Don't sweat the pacifier thing !!My daughter had hers until 3 1/2, she infact had 3, 1 for the mouth and 2 to rub over her cheeks.she never mixed them up!She was also only allowed to have them for sleep and quiet time, she didn't stasrt having them until 9month, when she got teeth and kept biting on them!We were telling her around 3, that she would have to give them up soon and then, she was very attached, but we saw the show Franklin one day and he had just gotten a new baby sister Harriet, so we decided to send all her pacies to Harriet and we boxed them up,wrote a letter and sent them to her(Grandma)and Franklin sent her back a stuffed animal(which she really loves) and slept with instead. she missed having them, but was old enough to understand, that babies need them more !I now have a one year old son and wish he would want one, to soothe himself, which he has a hard time with !I don't think they are bad, I remember loving mine !!As long as they are limited to sleep and "upset" times, be glad he has something to get comfort from !And do not care about what "they" say, because "they " are not in your shoes !!

I just wanted to add that we let our kids have it until they are about 3, but only at nighttime. That's when they get to be in a big kid bed and pacifiers are baby things. Our oldest, now 4, loved hers for nighttime but I told her when she was too big for it it would break and then we'd have to throw it away. I was planning to cut it as previously mentioned, but she ended up biting it and we went with that. We were even on vacation at the time (ugh!) but we threw it out - she cried for a few minutes that night but she was old enough to understand what was going on and we've never had a problem since. Our second child is going to be 3 this summer and we're planning on the same plan.

Something I didn't realize when I was reading all the books on childcare was that 'self soothing' often means thumb-sucking, but of course can include loveys and other things. The thing I liked about the paci's was that I could take it away but as the parent you have no control over the thumb. I knew too many people who talk about how when they were kids it was so hard to give up the thumb, even well into the elementary years. For me, the paci was the better option. Afterall, if your child sucked his thumb would you insist he stop at 9 months? That's how I thought of it, at least.

Basically, I wouldn't make it too big of a deal. As long as he's not walking around with it all day there shouldn't be any issues with speech development. Sounds like you're doing well.

HTH!

Hi, H., My oldest daughter had a pacifier until she was 3 1/2!!! Like you, we only let her have it at bedtime, and when we were home and she was cranky - which was A LOT!!! One day, she took it out of her mouth, looked at it, and said, "I don't need this anymore." She threw it away and that was that! In the scope of things, I wouldn't turn the pacifier into a big deal. If he likes it, let him have it. He'll wean himself eventually. Good luck! N.

I just threw mine out much younger than your child. I threw the bottles out at 1yr on her birthday. So it's totally up to you when you want to do it. Some say you should wean them off a little at a time but I'm not into putting my daughter and myself through hell for 2mo. It's going to be hard on everyone whatever way you choose why not doing it quickly. If you let them see you through them away and say they are all gone no more binky. Than whey they as woops all gone. The next time they want it they will get the idea. It takes a few days at the most no more than a week but most don't take that long. Your already partly there with it being limited. You just need a different thing to give for teething. Bedtime nothing will compare and there is no need to suggest anything else. Good luck

We didn't take our son's away until he was about 2 1/2. Now, he did only get at night to sleep and he left it in his bed during the day. I started that at about 9 months with all my kids. I don't like to see kids that can walk and talk with a paci in their mouths but I don't think it's a big deal with letting them sleep with it. I had talked to my pedi. about it and he agreed with me in letting them have it just to sleep. He said that you risk the chance they'll start sucking their thumb if you take the paci way earlier. By closer to 3, they have lost their need to suck.

H., despite what older women say peds have found that pacifiers do not hurt your child to have them up until age four. My older daughter didn't need one until she started teething at 6 months and then she had it until she was 11 months and only when sick. My oldest son had one from two months until he was three. My younger daughter still has one at 25 months, but is requiring it less and less. ANd my newborn hasn't started a paci yet because he is 22 days old. I bet this is why my youngest daughter still wants hers- new baby.

Your little one obviously recieves comfort from the paci. I would say let their development be your guide. DOn't take it away unless the wee one is showing signs that they are not really attatched to the paci, but merely having it in the mouth as a habit.

Oh, and a friend of mine used the Easter Bunny took the bink tactic and it worked as well.

Cut the tops of the nipple portion off a little at a time. They are too short and the kids don't like it.

It seems nasty, but it works.

I told my son that they were broken and that we didn't have any more. He bought it.

Other people collect them and turn them into the store in exchange for a toy.
YMMV
LBC

Don't worry too much about taking the pacifier away too soon. My daughter used one until about 2-1/2. We just made sure she only used it for sleeping. If it comforts him let him have it a little longer.
Can't help you on how to get rid of it whenever it's time. We had to take my daughter's away cold turkey. She was chewing on it and it was tearing. I was afraid it would become a choking hazard. We had one HORRIBLE naptime without it, but after that it was a breeze! :-)
B.

My oldest son was 3 1/2 when we took his pacifier away. Up until then, he kept it in his bed during the day and only used it for sleeping. We thought he'd have a rough night the first night without his paci, but he did surprisingly well! My second son never took a pacifier but still sucks his fingers and he is 3 1/2. I can see this is going to be a more difficult habit to break. My 19 month old son doesn't take a pacifier or suck his fingers but sleeps with a blankie. If your son doesn't already have a blankie to cuddle with, maybe that would be a good, comforting substitute for the paci if you're really ready to do away with it all together. Best of luck to you!

Hi there, I had a daughter that took the pacy until about 3 and she just threw it away one day. I also kept telling her that she was a big girl and didn't need it. So finally she listened. My second daughter was a year and a half old. She would only use it at night to calm herself down to sleep. But her doctor told me that it is a security thing. That I should not worry too much. She was also going through her dad being gone out to sea. We are also military. That can be hard on a child. They don't understand why daddy is here one minute and the next minute he's gone for a while. Now my third daughter didn't take anything. Lucky there. But I wouldn't worry too much about it. My thing was the bottle. I had my children off the bottle by the time they were a year. Just use it at bedtime and if it really bothers you try the pacifer fairy. Tell the child that the pacifer fairy is coming around to get all the pacifers away from the children that don't need them and give them to the babies that need them. I have heard that works. Don't let it bother you too much right now.

mine never used pacifiers either so i'm not sure how much help i'll be but my suggestion is to take it away from him now instead of waiting. the longer he has it the harder it will be to wean him. look for other things to help his self -soothe (blanket, animal, etc)...you might have a few sleepless nights now but it will be worth it to be done with it.

Have you ever heard of a child who went to school with a pacifier? Leave the child alone and let him have his pacifier when he is cranky. He is not even a year old! After he starts walking around, if you want, you can limit it to in his crib/bed. When he needs a break and to de-stress, he will go there and get it, use it, and when he is back to normal, leave it there for the next time he needs it. Eventually, all people find more socially acceptable forms of dealing with their anxieties - really! But, as your child isn't even a year old, I really wouldn't worry about this. He will give it up when he is ready, just like he will do everything else in life on his schedule and not on anyone else's schedule.
Pediatricians don't know everything. They never have and they never will know what is best for each and every child. You are the child's mother and with him every day, and still don't know what he wants and needs all of the time.
I had one child who used a pacifier, one who sucked her thumb, and one who didn't really get comfort from either. They are all fairly well adjusted and confident individuals now. My pacifier child used his (at home only) until he was about 3 yo when he gave it up on his own, and has never needed an orthodontist. He has straight, healthy teeth. The child who didn't use anything, needed major orthodonture. And, my thumb sucker needs such minor work that only a dentist or orthodontist can tell she needs it. So, don't allow yourself to be bullied into thinking that you need to do this for cosmetic reasons. I know at least one adult who still sucks her thumb when she gets stressed or is near exhaustion. (She doesn't realize that she is even doing it until someone points it out to her.)
All of this is just to say that your son will give up the pacifier when he is ready. If you attempt to make him do so before then, you are setting yourself up for a power struggle that may do more harm than good in the end.

i don't want to repeat advice so i'll just add that we took my daughter's away around 1.5 yo because of chronic ear infections.

H., my advice is about the same as alot of people on here, don't stress about it if you take it away too early it could lead to thumb sucking and I know this from experience. I have almost 4 year old twins, one which was a paci baby and the other a thumb sucker........My paci baby gave his up right before his 3rd birthday, we simply told him that he was a big boy now and didn't need it and he cried the first night but after that realized he didn't need it after all. My thumb sucker still sucks her thumb and she's almost 4 now, we've tried everything under the sun to get her to stop and nothing works. The most embrassing thing about her thumb sucking is she will do it out in public and I find it very embrassing to be strolling a cart around with a almost 4 year old in it sucking her thumb. Just remember you can take the pacifier away but you can't take a thumb away. My youngest son who is 21 months still uses his at nap time and night time and I always keep one in my purse in case we are out and he starts having a fit I don't plan on taking his away until he's 3 or whenever he feels he doesn't need it anymore. Don't feel pressured by anyone to do the "right" thing, they don't know what is right for you or your baby your the only one that can make that decision for yourself. And I do have friends who have taken their kids' paci's away at 1 year and their kids are just fine too, it just really depends on your parenting style and how you feel about it really. I wish you the best of luck with whatever decision you do make!

We started at age 2 by only letting her have it at naps and night time. Cutting teeth is a hard one-our girl didn't like teethers so paci was good for that, too. After a few weeks, we took it away at naps and then at nights. We had to rub her back and sing a lot, but it worked.

I have to admit, my second son was the one who used a pacifier for the longest time. He was a little over a year when we took it away, and just did exactly what you are doing. We slowly only allowed him to have it in the car and when sleeping. Then we took it away from the car and it was only for sleeping, then we just took it away all together. They don't want to use it after they see it is interfering with their normal play either. My oldest never used one and my youngest did for about 5 or 6 months, but taking it away was not as bad as I expected. We honestly had one night where it took him maybe 20 minutes to cry himself to sleep instead of falling right asleep...and he is almost 4 now and completely healthy :). Good luck!

OMG! i didn't even think about taking it away until my son was about 2, and it wasn't a huge problem taking it away then when we could talk to him and reason with him. why make him suffer without his paci? if you take it away now you will likely suffer as well until he gets over it, and anyway they now recommend kids sleep with the paci to prevent SIDS. btw, i would consider it self soothing if he gets himself to sleep with the paci.

our rule was he only got his paci in the bed or going to sleep in the car. it seemed to work and he wasn't sucking on it all day long.