Table Manners for 2.5 Year Old

My son is the same way. When he uses up his three warnings he is removed from the table for 2 minutes. I was mortified the last month the way he acted when we had company for dinner but it's just toddlers being toddlers! Be firm and consistent and eventually it'll lose it's appeal.

I think you need to move from the "reminding" mode into the discipline mode on this issue. A 2.5 year old isn't going to consistently follow the rules wihout a reminder BUT they can and should follow the rules most of the time when prompted.

My daughter had already gone to bed without dinner by 2.5 at least once and she has pretty good table manners and is fairly good eater--she is just about 3.5 now. She's not going to starve and we're not going to have a struggle over food. She can eat what is for dinner or she can have a bowl of cereal or a sandwich. Doesn't want to eat anything? Dinner is available for consumption until bedtime--no sandwich or cereal option after dinner is done.

Attack one issue at a time over a period of time--once he's mastered the expectation, address the next challenge. If he throws his milk cup, he only gets water. If he throws his utensil, he gets it himself...and wipes up the mess on the floor. Feet on the table...straight to time out. Food put on your plate...don't say a word...just put it back on his plate.

Making him part of the process of setting the table and serving dinner may also help. Kids this age are good little helpers. Let him choose his plate and flatware and cup. Maybe get a couple of different patterns of napkins and let him choose which ones you'll use. He can also be part of the clean-up. I've been having my daughter help clear things away and load the dishwasher for well over a year. Not trying to sound braggy, but just so you know its possible.

Also, try to use (a lot of) positive reinforcement when he is behaving. Setting up the expectation of good behavior before dinner just might work for you--a quick little reminder about what is okay and what will happen if he doesn't follow the rules. I do this a lot when we eat out and it works well. My daughter knows I have no problem having our food wrapped up to go if she acts out.

i would tear that hand up! yes he is 2 and has some learning to do and it;s going to take a lot of patience and no nonsense attitude from you and your husband, my four year still has a few issues at the table but throwing things??!! oh no! when he throws that cup, pop his hand take that cup and don't give it back. make him wait then try and give it to him later and when you give it back tell him he is not to throw it, when he throws his utensils take them and the plate and tell him no! and explain that he is not to throw it again. wait a few minutes then give it back, and try again. you will have to stick to your guns and show him that you mean business. good luck

BE FIRM, BE MEAN, THIS BEHAVIOR IS UNACCEPTABLE!! I'm going to address the chair tipping first. My son did this and had a cut in the back of his head so large that he needed 15 stitches!

VERY Firmly tell him, No we do not throw our food. Slap his hands if neccessary to get his attention. Try giving him very limited amounts of food at a time.

Touching or adding to someone elses plate is completely unacceptable. If you want to ever be able to eat in public with this child you've got to get control of him at home.

Spanking works, use it when needed.

My second turned 2 this past weekend. His older sister has wonderful table manners and he has picked up on some of it but not all. This is what we do If he throws, the food/cup/utensil is taken away. (He will not starve) Usually the abscence of thrown item is enough to refocus him on eating OR he gets it back by asking politely. (we remind him to say please, no crying/whining) If it is thrown again it is the end of mealtime. (again the child will not starve, he will just eat later under different conditions) My oldest ate with her hands for a long time, she wasn't playing with her food but forks and spoons can be hard to operate properly at that age. He isn't learning to use an utensil by throwing it anyway. We have a pub table with very high chairs and my son has actually tipped himself over, it scared me so bad that I turned his chair to the side so his feet aren't facing the table. He is strapped into his booster so I don't need the table right in front to know he isn't going to fall out. I also moved to eating at the counter which is out of reach of the table. We still sit down together but nobody's plate is within reaching distance. My son doesn't do most of these things anymore, rest assured he will grow out of it but you may have to alter things a bit right now. PS My son eats his afternoon snack at the table by himself, I don't know why we do it that way, I think maybe it just gives him space to fully wake up and become social again BUT maybe having your son eat alone would curb his enthusiasm a bit? Not as a punishment and again it won't be this way forever but If there is no one at the table (you could be cleaning up or reading or doing dishes right there in the kitchen) then maybe he would eat instead of perform? Good Luck!

He's 2 1/2 , nothing wrong with you telling him no when he does something like throw his cup or food , but he is 2 1/2 and you can't expect him to understand yet that it is wrong.

wow I kinda thought I'd be in the minority on this. First off, this issue does not involve your parents, this is your child and YOU need to solve the issue however YOU see fit. Second, talking isn't working, so it is time to just end it. Trust me he won't starve, if he can't follow all the rules after a warning then he needs to leave the table, time out for 3 minutes, calm minutes, if he doesn't sit or kicks and screams it can take an hour, he will learn. Then he can come back to table and try again, if his food is cold, well so what, he will learn to eat with the family and eat the way you wish and whatever is served sooner than you think if you can follow through.

I don't think anything you mentioned is really a spanking or slapping offense, although I suppose it depends on your own discipline policies. The leaning back in his chair does seriously concern me because it is so dangerous. Is there anyway to tuck his legs under the table so that he cannot get them up and on the table? My son also likes to do this, but we lowered his booster seat so that we can tuck his legs under the table and now he is unable to. He has the Fisher Price Healthy Care Deluxe Booster Seat which has 3 sizes and is not very expensive - you might look into it (I've included a link at the bottom of this posting).

Everything else is not dangerous, it's just naughty. It should be treated like any naughty behavior. You need to tell him that it is unacceptable, and if he persists, behave as you would any time he does not listen to you, whether it is a time-out, removing the item, etc. If he throws his milk and you feel bad denying him a drink, try a Time-out instead. I understand that you struggle with this, but I think it's about time that he began learning how to act at the table (with gentle reminders to start, of course). By the time he's 3, he should be fully capable of sitting with the family as a member of the family, so it's time to begin teaching him how to behave. Good luck.

http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Healthy-Care-Deluxe-Bo...

At this age it's all about setting limits and rules and sticking to them. They do not learn those rules that quickly. Don't expect him to consistently follow rules at age 2, it's not gonna happen. Welcome to parenthood. If this is your first child, wait until you have a few more at the dinner table. It's like a monkey farm at our house.

BAHAHAHAHAAA! Table manners in a 2 year old! Two year olds are like little wild animals. Talking really doesn't do much. Here's my advice, having survived several two year olds.

1) Your son does not need to eat dinner with you at this age. Feed him early (like around 5) and put him to bed. Then you can have a nice, civilized dinner with your husband. Life is hard enough without having a little wild banshee at your dinner table.

2) If he throws his cup, oh well. It stays on the floor. If he throws his spoon, then no spoon for him. Not negotiable. He will not die of dehydration. Emily Post and Miss Manners will not show up on your doorstep to see if your 2 year old is eating with the correct fork.

3) Kindly tell your parents that if THEY would like to teach him to use a fork while he is at THEIR house, then they are more than welcome to play the fork pick-up game. That's a fun game for grandparents.

4) If he's going to put his feet on the table, put him in his high chair and move him away from the table.

Really, you can't expect decent table manners out of a child until they're 3-ish (and by "decent" I mean that food will not actually fly around the table, but they will still put Spaghetti-O's up their nose), and with some kids it's more like 5-ish. Especially when they're 2, they LOVE getting a rise out of their parents. Do not engage in this battle, it's not one you'll win. He is showing you that he is not old enough to sit at the table with the grown-ups. This is not a failure on his part or yours, he's just 2. Nobody ever went to college unable to use a fork. Hang in there.

keep up the good work mom and dad. It's a child's job to see who will crack first under pressure. Let him know you're a united front and if it's a war that he wants, he will lose. My 16 month old grandson is a meat, rice and fruithead. My poor daughter is almost at her wits end with the rice. He loves rice, but wants to feed himself. So, of course, the spoon doesn't get enough on it and he's not coordinated yet, so he grabs it by the handful. The problem with that is he doesn't like it sticking to his hands and will shake it off each time on to the floor. Again, keep up the good work!

I absolutely LOVE Catherine C's response.

It's what we did through and through... and by 3ish we could take our son (very easily) into restaurants with us and expect good behavior the vast majority of the time.

The only difference is that I allowed my son to "feed on demand" until the present and forseeable future (and he's now 8). So there was always food around and available, so it wasn't anything *exciting*, it was just food. He had his own shelf on the fridge and drawer in the kitchen. If he wanted to play with his food, fine (in most cases), he just had to ask (and then I'd say "yes" or "yes, if" -for example- "Yes, IF you take your shirt off and do it in the kitchen instead of over the carpet." Or "Yes, IF you use cheerios instead."). But none of this was "at the table". It was all at "his" table (ikea).

When my daughter started to engage in some of that behavior, I simple told her that she had to sit properly at the table, etc. or she would be excused.

She still is awful about using her fork, but she sits quietly and knows to not touch my plate, etc.

Hi Limabean-
If my son ever did any of this, he will get spanked! He wouldn't dare throw his cup after he is done drinking milk.. Your child needs to be disciplined and this is the perfect time to start!! He needs to know who is in charge and that is you and your husband, raise your voice and yell if you have too! My child will get spaked if he did this at my house!