Table Ettiquite

Well I don't know much about official etiquette when it comes to grace, however common sense tells you that grace is ALWAYS before you eat. It is a time when you thank the Lord for what he has given, ask him to bless the meal and so forth...
I mean after seems kinda pointless...

Good luck... I guess just lay the law down if it is important to you. Tell them if they want to eat, grace has to be said BEFORE.

While saying grace is a personal preference, it does not make sense to eat first. Grace is a blessing on the food so that it will be nourishing. If you've already eaten it, what's the point? Also, grace is not so much ettiquette as a spiritual practice and should be used when the host or hostess believe in it.

saying grace is a personal religious choice. You and your husband can choose to make it part of your family practice. If you do that, make a family rule to say grace before serving food on the plates. If your husband doesn't agree, I'd ask your clergyperson.

Hi P.,
My response is a bit late but I wanted to give this some thought. The purpose of saying grace is to slow down and show thankfulness for the provision. If grace comes after you've already consumed the meal what are you really thankful for? The Bible is full of text that mention giving thanks before eating. Two of the better known scriptures are found in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John). For example in Matthew 14:19 or 15:36 Jesus had thousands of people that needed fed. After they were seated he took the fish and bread, broke them and gave thanks. Notice, it was after everyone was seated but before they chowed down. I hope this helps. God bless you. L.

I dont know if any literature you can look on the internet about saying grace before eating being ettiquite and like everyone says I think it's a personal choose. We do it at every meal anyhow, because I believe we have been given everything from The Higher power. So, I established we say grace before even having the food on the table; then I serve my children. You could try to keep the food on warm on the stove with the table set and then no one can grab food before grace is said. After the routine is established, you then can bring the food back to the table. Also another idea is make a Family meeting about this topic, ask your children what they think about this topic and what they believe should be done especially since having food on the table every meal is such a blessing with today's economy. Another thing we do is also, say grace at restraunts. People stare but it gets the point across to my children that we say grace every time there is food available.

It is a personal choice. I once knew a minister's family who always said grace after the family meal. Most people say it prior to eating. At our house, we fill plates, then say grace, then eat. It's a matter of what feels right to you.

When I was growing up we always had to wait until after the blessing before we could eat, and I do that with my family too. No one is ever punished for eating a bite or two before the prayer, but they do get teased about eating "unblessed" food and sometimes I tell them "You'd better open your mouth during the prayer so that food will get blessed!"

I definately think you pray before you serve and eat food!

It's important to acknowledge the gift and say thank you to the Giver before doing anything with the gift. You'd do that with your friends, so why would it be different for the Maker of the universe? :)

Saying that, I am sometimes the one that starts eating first... :) It's hard to wait when you're starving! But, it is important to thank God...

Blessing the food after it's been eaten seems a little counter-productive to me : ).
We've seen with water that words can change the molecular structure for the good. So it is with our food. I don't know that it's written down anywhere that you MUST say grace on your food, and it is an outward display of gratitude for your blessings. Maybe you could wait to put the food on the table UNTIL grace is said, then bring the food out with a smile. When they realize how important it is to you, maybe they will be more amiable to your desires. Otherwise, let the suckers go hungry! ( just kidding on that one.);) Just be consistent and whatever you do, don't demand it, or you'll have open rebellion and mutiny on your hands. Say it to yourself and ask them to at least be silent while you pray over your food.

Saying grace originates from a religious standpoint, there is no "etitquette" involved. I think you are asking if you should eat before you say grace maybe? I know that everyone serves then we all sit and say grace before anyone starts eating. I don't think there is some set standard on if and when you say it though.
It is a manner in which you choose to give thanks to God for the food you are about to it. Each family has different versions or options if they choose to do this. I have started this practice with my kids each night before we eat dinner. We rotate on who says what they want to give thanks and we do it before we eat. My ex mother in law does it at every meal. It is a choice, not something that should be forced and you personally can still say grace if you so desire. I think an better explanation of what grace is and why it is important to your family and your specific relgion may help your family see why you want it for them. I say it isn't so much when it is said as that it is important to give thanks for the meal, others may differ in their choices.

Hi P. - I'm thinking you may need to lighten up just a little bit. Just because they "see it in writing" wont increase their gratitude quotient. Saying grace is a great tradition but it's also much more than that. It's an acknowledgment that God is our provider in things big and small and that every good thing is a gift from above. Teach your children why you want to say grace.

Whether you say grace before food is served, during the meal or after the meal doesnt really matter. Decide the matter as a family. Maybe even have some fun with it and have each family member present and validate their "argument" and then vote as a family what your tradition will be.

Here's a prayer for you to surprise your family with next time they dig in before saying grace. "Dear God, please bless this food and all that is within me. Amen.

Truthfully, my cooking can be just a little sketchy sometimes. If it's a new recipe, we dont say grace before the meal, we say a prayer of protection! Ha!

It doesn't really matter if there is a formal ettiquett about saying grace, you should decide as a family what is appropraite to you. You and your husband talk together and come to some sort of consesus (there may have to be some compromise) and then present it to your children. If you want to take their opinion into account, ok, but you don't have to - you're the parents. You make the rules.

In my family, we can serve ourselves but we don't start eaating. The kids will catch each other (and mom & dad if we forget), so I know its do-able. If you want to say grace before the food is served, thats up to you as parents.

I don't think there's any particular etiquette related to saying grace, and there are some religions where one prays both before and after the meal. This will likely just need to be a rule you determine for yourself.

Warmly,

S. Mesh
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Cultural Care Au Pair - www.culturalcare.com
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