My 8 year old daughter is very bright. Last night, she had homework and the sheet is something she could have done in kindergarten. She had to read 3 definitions of the word dance, and write sentences using them in the different forms (verb, noun, adverb). She couldn't do it. She spent over an hour trying to figure it out before my husband sat down and talked the sentences into her.
This morning we went and met with her teacher. He is known for being difficult, moved from 5th grade last year to 3rd this year, and all my daughter said all summer was how she didn't want him. He is a good teacher, but I think my daughter is so intimidated by him that she has shut down and can't function. She needs to learn. So I want to move her classes.
We have worked with him since August, almost daily emails and at least weekly phone calls. I've met with him a minimum of 4 times in person over issues. She spends all evening doing work that should take her no time at all. His teaching does not match her learning andI think we've given it more than enough time.
Have you ever moved a child from one teacher to another? What are your experiences there?
Mom of 4 - we have not. I don't think that will help. She is so scared of him that I don't think anything will help. She has lost confidence in herself. It's very sad to see.
Cheryl - Good to know!! He did tell us that she is always paying attention to what other people are doing and not using her time wisely, which is also very new for her. I talked to her k, 1, and 2 teachers and they are all shocked. We're moving her for sure, just didn't know about experiences.
Just M - that's why we have given it until now. We figure if 4 months into school it's still not clicking, there is a problem. I talked to a friend of mine who was a teacher at that school and she said she requested her daughter not to have him because he would break down her confidence. She said this before I mentioned my daughter's issues. It's scary to see how scared she is to try this year.
He is a great teacher, just tough - and too tough for 8 and 9 year olds.
BD - We did not let her flounder. We tried to help her and talk her into figuring it out on her own, as she should be able to do. Isn't that what homework should be? And while he is a nice guy, that doesn't make him the right person to teach my daughter. I don't mind if it's awkward for people involved. I need my daughter to learn.
Hi, Mom:
Have you talked to the teacher about her being scared of him?
This really needs resolution before you pull her out.
The teacher and the child needs to talk together maybe with you
being a mediator.
Just a thought.
D.
Have you tried a tutor? I would exhaust all possibilites before changing classes. This is a perfect time for you to teach your daughter about making it through something difficult and the reward at the end of the year.
.
id say have her vision checked...if she could do these activities in K then there ma be another issue, I dont think the teacher would alone affect her so much even when shes J. with you. Maybe this is truly hard for her and shes ashamed to admit she doesnt understand since she did so well before
No I have never switched my child out of a class and wonder if it can even be done logistically. I just think it would be awkward for everyone involved.
The thing I am most curious about is why did you let her flounder for an hour before your husband stepped in to help? If she doesn't get it after the teacher taught it in class why don't you teach it to her in a way she understands. By doing this you will give her the confidence she needs to excel, plus you would be able to tell the teacher how she learns best.
I've not yet had to change my child or grandchild's class, but I did pull my granddaughter out of a school toward the end of the year because of bullying issues (she was being bullied and the school refused to do anything to help her.) But my mom pulled me out of a high school algebra class for exactly the same reasons you are talking about here - I was so afraid of the teacher that I just could not do ANYTHING in that classroom. I too dreaded being assigned to that class all summer. When I found out for sure that I did get that teacher, I was so afraid, I couldn't concentrate on one word she said. So, if you're daughter is having trouble doing something you know she is capable of doing, then I say it's time for a new teacher. I don't think it will be much of a problem for your daughter because she probably knows most of the kids in the other class anyway. Stand up for your daughter and insist that they switch her classroom. If they say no, tell them that she will be staying home "ill" on a regular basis and you won't be writing any excuse notes so they will just be "out" the money they get paid from the state. Hit them in their pocket book - it's the only language they understand!
I used to work as an elementary school teacher, and parents did sometimes move children. I generally encouraged students and parents to really try to work with the existing situation - sometimes they wanted to move because of the teacher, and sometimes because of other children in the class. My rationale was that, most of the time, in life, you dont get to "switch." You will have bosses and coworkers you do not like, and your ability to work with them successfully often dictates how successful you are in your career.
However, there is a point where you need to cut your losses. I think it sounds like you have done the right thing in trying to get your child to work with him and not switching after the first few weeks. However, your daughter is stressed and miserable and a 9 year old should not feel that way about school.
Think about whatever life lesson you want her to learn from this - she has done great so far in that she has kept trying even though the teacher is not the best match for her - and talk with her about it before she switches teachers.
Sorry for your hard year!
Rachel:
We moved Nicky about 3 weeks ago - GREAT difference!!
We moved Greg in the 3rd grade as well...it was for the best.
Ask your school to do a learning evaluation - that's what they did for Nicky and Greg - they both learn differently. Greg is dyslexic. Nicky is ADD....
I wish I would've done more when Greg was in the 1st grade with his nasty teacher! SHE was NOT good. Unfortunately, she's still teaching!!
Stand up for her!! She will be better off without it.
