First of all, I'm sorry to hear about your little boy. Your "a little about me" made me cry. Sending you a hug.
As for swine flu, we asked our doctor if he is giving it to his own kids and he said no.
Practice especially good health habits this fall and winter, turn your thermostat down durning the day if you're not home (like down to 60) and open windows in bedrooms every day for a few minutes. This winter, keep the house at 68-69 degrees - certain cold and flu bugs/viruses can't live in temps that cold so your home will be a healthier place to begin with.
Also, if one of your kids gets sick with flu-like symptoms, take them into the doctor. Swine flue is treatable and there are meds that can lessen symptoms.
I'm not giving the vaccine to my kids (although they are getting the regular flu vaccine) but plan to do the above and get them in at the first symptoms.
Bottom line, you need to make your own decision when it comes to your kids - I usually find out what my doctor is doing with his own kids and go from there.