Surviving Thanksgiving

I have issues when we go to see my parents. I told my dad that I love him but with my growing family we would need to stay at a nearby hotel. They handled it quite well.

I vote for the hotel stay. Forget the dogs - 8 people in a small house is crowded and plenty of reason to stay elsewhere. Good luck whatever you choose.

Well D,

You have two options, as I see it. Get a hotel, OR as Nike would say, Just Do It!! After all, the furniture they are on is not yours, you don't have to feed them YOUR food, and as for your son, just keep any eye on him, and ask everyone else to do the same. Three year old boys USUALLY survive being knocked down by a doggy!! :) Life is short, family is important, and sometimes we (MYSELF INCLUDED) can get a little too focused on the silly, irritating things that at the end of the day DO NOT MATTER!!!!!! It's nice of them that they respect your home, a lot of in-laws aren't that way, so they obviously respect and care for ya'lls ways. It's sounds like you guys have a wonderful family, so just relax, enjoy yourself. If you can't take it, just get a room!! Have a great holiday!!

Good Luck!!

Dobermans are actually really good with children. I grew up with 2 and they were VERY loving. Just keep a watchful eye on your son, like I know you will, and I'm sure things will be just fine. No need to feed the fire!
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

B.
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www.themomteam.com/bleboeuf

Wine! Just kidding, although it may help a little. I would suggest saying to your mother in law that while you understand she doesn't want to upset the sisters, you are concerned about your child's safety and respectfully ask that if any of the dogs are too rough with your child, they then must stay outside. She is the lady of the house, so she can make the rules! If that doesn't work, maybe suggest that the dogs are outside during the day and in at night. If all else fails, maybe take a few outings to the park or something with your little family so you can get a break from the chaos. Good luck!!

Give yourself a wonderful T-giving by staying in a motel!!!
Surely you can endure a meal and a few hours' visit, but leave when you've had enough! Since we've been doing this, we've enjoyed our visits with any relative, regardless how obnoxious they or their pets are! Oh, and we have 4 dogs, but never NEVER impose on anyone. We put them in a kennel when we are visiting non-dog relatives, and then take only two if we are visiting doggie-lover relatives. That many dogs will overwhelm the best animal lover!!!!
J. B

I have three dogs that i love dearly, they too are indoor dogs, but they only weigh a few pounds each. The biggest is only a lhasa apso!(also min daschund and yorkie!) any way i do repect other peoples wishes both in their homes and even in ours when we have company! If you really feel that you can't talk with them about your concerns especially of your small child , then i say if they are rude enough to leave them to bother every one then you can be rude too (in a reserved way). Here's what i mean, perhaps there is a room that you can put a gate on (child gate) where the dogs are part of the activity of the day but they are not the highlight! If that doesn't work here is where the rudeness comes in...just keep opening the door and letting them out! If they ask just say "well they were by the door and it looked like they wanted to go outside! Get your husband to do the same! And maybe even your mother in law! After a few times you might have to wait till no one is looking. You can also say things like " do you mind if we put them away just while we eat? That begging makes me feel so bad for their big brown eyes! Or make up that one of them knocked your son down and would they mind keeping them away till he gets a bit older and more stable on his feet. Lies and rudeness i know , but after all aren't they being rude and disregarding everyone elses feelings? Good luck!

This is not a strangers home. This is familys. Respecting their home only goes to a certain extent. You do not compromise your sons safety. I would make it clear that the dogs are in the way. You can not compare dogs to a child. I would speak up regardless of being in their home. If you can't be upfront and honest with family, who can you talk to then. They will get over it.

Tell them you need your own space and make hotel reservations. We started doing that about a year ago for our trips back to AL. My mother-in-law was quite ok with it when I told her it was better for my boys (2 year old twins) to have a place to go when they are worn out and need quiet.

Hi DeDe,
I am a dog lover, and have a 75 pound bulldog and a 14 month old son. I was very concerned about the big dog and infant combo. I found that my dog was running the show, and running the house. As soon as i found out i was pregnant, i started treating my dog like a dog and all of us are much happier for it. My suggestions are the following.
Ask the owners if they can walk the dogs (or suggest everyone go for a walk together) to tire the dogs and drain their energy so they are not so active around your son. Plus, the dogs will be in a new surrounding and more likely to act up. It would be beneficial to walk them before they enter the house so the dogs are tired.
Be assertive with the dogs, if they are getting in your personal space, there is nothing wrong with gently shoving them away (that's how dogs behave towards each other). If a dog is on the couch, and you want to sit there, just sit there and make the dog move.
Just because the owners treat them like babies, doesn't mean you have to. Please don't interpret this to mean "be mean to the dogs", but you can be assertive and claim your space and dominant status around them, without being negative.
When you arrive at the house, ignore the dogs and don't pet, talk to or look at them until they are calm, and tell your son to do the same. The dogs will pick up on that and be less likely to bug you.
It sounds like you are anxious about being around the dogs, and you can bet the dogs pick up on that and that makes them more dominant around you. To steal from Cesar Milan, try to be calm and assertive so it's more pleasant for everyone.
They have a right to be with their dogs, but you have more of a right to insure the safety of your son.

Oh wow. I can't imagine that! It's not much help, but my husband and I have an agreement: he is responsible for addressing our concerns to his family and I am responsible for my family. This way, we avoid "in-law confilcts." So basically, maybe your husband should address it and act like it is totally his idea just in case they do get angry. I think people forgive their own family members so much easier than in-laws. If you live in an area that still has nice weather, you could plan some outdoor activities, so there is more space. Surely they could understand your concern for your child, if not, I don't know what else to say. Is it not possible to switch to your house and come up with a reason that makes it necessary? Maybe invite another person who doesn't have family in town, and put the number over the limit for your mom-in-law's house? Then you've done a "good deed," too. Just a few thoughts, maybe not much help, but good luck- I definitely empathize with you.

Shorten your stay and get a hotel. Be very, very gracious about it. The money you spend will be forgotten long before any hard feelings in the family would be.

Don't have much advice here but Good Luck. At least your son is not afraid of dogs like my is and you don't have allergies from the animal like my husband and I do.
Again Good Luck and remember you do have choices for you and your family.

Since it is not your home, there is not alot you can do, BUT since it is your husband's parents home and your husband will be there, he can talk to his parents (hush hush). First and foremost, it is a safety issue when it comes to the kids. Five dogs at one time is too much. I say....put them outside.

man alive, I can't even imagine... but just remember that you are CHOOSING to do this... :) you ALWAYS have a choice. :) Obligatory family gatherings are ALWAYS optional (in my book)... and I've found that I've been a LOT less stressed since people know now that we do what we want. :)

After reading through the other responses, I totally agree w/blaming everything on your son. That way you are not hurting your in-laws feelings by telling them their dogs are to much for you to handle and your son will never know that you put all the blame on him. I think a room just for your son which is dog-free is a great idea! And, you wouldn't want your son to spend Thanksgiving by himself so you would have a room to escape to also! Good luck and keep us updated.!

DeDe i wonder how yourson deeals wiyh dogs. They are pack animals and can be aggressivewhen threatened by a hug, pulled ears or having there begging interupted.
i mwould request a room or an area for my son to play in animal free citing the reasons that he is very mobile now but still too young to understand that his behaviort might not be appropriate with dogs not used to kids. This takes the blame away and puts the grandbaby's best interest at the center of the problem.
otherwise
i would watch my child like a hawk and limit my time there.Good luck.