D.P.
Overall, the concept of consistency--whether it was doing time outs, sleeping in bed, etc. Without consistency--everyone is confused!
My girlfriends are fans of the show and book and I just wanted to know from those who are fans of Jo, what advice helped you the most? Thanks for sharing mamas!
Overall, the concept of consistency--whether it was doing time outs, sleeping in bed, etc. Without consistency--everyone is confused!
That my kids aren't THAT bad? (ha, kidding, sort of)....one episode she made big dominoes to teach a father a lesson that I really thought was neat. Basically one domino said something like "son acts up" and the next one said "dad reacts in anger" and then it went on...what the son does, how the dad reacts, how things escalate and just lose control between them. She said "just take out this ONE domino" (dad reacting, the 2nd domino) and none of the others fall. The son could act up, but dad didn't have to get mad and react so fast. Instead, he recognized how the boy was feeling and slowed down, had a little talk with him, and it diffused the situation. I started working (it takes practice) on that, and saw results immediately!
I also learned from watching the show how to have a stern voice without being mean or raising it (I thought "I mean business" came off as a yell because that's what my parents did....but it's quite the opposite and works SO much better in a lower, slower tone like she does).
Being calm, not speaking after the first couple steps but continuing with the discipline until the child gets it are good lessons to visually see to me. Showing love and getting on with it after "time served" is good. Waiting for everyone to be ok and calm again, removed from the situation, is the best time to discuss points I want them to get (LATER when hanging out reconnecting is the better time to say "remember how you kept getting off the naughty step and you kept getting placed back and couldn't get off until your time was served? that took __ minutes instead of just sitting there and thinking about it for 4 minutes" or talking about why we want to change behavior and family dynamic for all of us, in a nonconfrontational way later when everyone is ok). I LOVE Supernanny. I've actually learned a lot from her. We kinda combine tools we've learned from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families, Love & Logic, Supernanny, and our own common sense together to do what works for us. None of us are perfect or get it right every time, but we're happy, know we're loved, and work together as a team MUCH of the time. The family unit works sooooooo much better than it did before my husband and I came together as a team to make a plan and incorporating everything we've learned, plus our own experiences. I think the most valuable thing I've learned is that we're not the only parents that come across a difficulty, and that everything can be fixed, we just have to find what works and stay with it, don't give up or lose my temper because I'm frustrated or tired. Keep the goal in mind, not the present aggrivation.
That it's always easier to parent someone else's kids! Especially when you're not a mom.
The answers (to lots of problems, not just parenting) can be obvious if you have some distance and perspective on the situation, so sometimes outside counsel can be really helpful.
Def. the time outs. Pick them up put them back in their rooms, don't address them, etc. I must have put my daughter back in her room 25 times the first time, and then that was it. Worked like a charm. Consistency is key.
the sleeping in their own bed lessons (put them back...over and over...no matter how much they scream...) my son had hand, foot, and mouth disease when he was 2, (only it was ALL in his mouth - he didn't eat solid food for almost a week) and (while we never went through the "terrible twos" per se) it was about three nights of a nightmare, trying to get him back in his bed after he'd been SO sick - he had slept in our bed about a week at that point. she gave me the strength to do it. that, and the time out methods. both work, if parents are willing to put in the work. i just love her entire attitude about respecting each other, having fun, but doing as you're told, etc. her parenting strategies and attitudes are very similar to mine - she just showed me the tools to execute them.
(and yes, April, it is always nice to know that my kid isn't SO bad!! :)
Don't give in, show them you mean business. My son at 2 sits on the naughty spot like a champ because I put him back every single time he got up. He knows (I think) that getting up will just prolong the agony. he does his 2 minutes and says sorry and gives hugs and kisses...and he's better for the time out too.
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Don't give in, show them you mean business. My son at 2 sits on the naughty spot like a champ because I put him back every single time he got up. He knows (I think) that getting up will just prolong the agony. he does his 2 minutes and says sorry and gives hugs and kisses...and he's better for the time out too.
First keeping calm ALWAYS. That is really hard, LOL. Second was when they are doing something wrong, not to yell at them across the room to "stop it". To walk over to them, get at eye level, give them a warning to stop and that if they don't, there WILL be consequences. Third to always FOLLOW THROUGH. It is so easy to not do these steps, and when I don't everything starts falling apart again. Fourth is mom and dad on the same page, because if I tell them to do something and dad tells them something else they don't know who to listen to.
Umm... that marketing portrays supernanny being about horrible children, when really it is a show about horrible parenting... :)