Summer Stinks!!!!

We never complained about being bored when I was growing up. Well actually, we'd only complain once. Because my mom's eyes would light up and she'd say, "really!??" and she'd find us a whole list of chores to do.

We are rarely bored over the summer - we have routines. Chores, piano, math, reading. Once those are all done, they can play, we go out to various parks, museums, or the pool. We don't see a lot of friends, but we hardly ever are bored. And we don't do camps. I think the key is a routine every day. They're so grateful when the routine is done and they have free time that they make the most of it.

Is she artistic at all? How about a summer art project? Painting etc? Doesn't have to cost much. Would you let her paint a wall in her room? I worked with youth one summer and we did a really cool project, I had a projector, and protected an abstract image on the wall and they painted it on the image projected on the wall, it looked awesome :). I know Pinterest must have tons of creative ideas for inexpensive wall art. I have seen people do awesome things with stencils and sponges. Other than that, there is reading, tv, the pool, and the great outdoors. What about a summer reading challenge, would she keep track of the books she reads and you could give a dollar for each one? The library is free and she could challenge herself to make 20 or 30 bucks. You could make stipulations, like the book must be at least 100 pages, and let her rip! Good luck!

You and your daughter both need to realize that constant entertainment is not necessary or required.
Every moment does not need to be filled with fun.
When she complains she's bored she can
wash the car,
begin to prepare dinner (peel potatoes, make salad dressing, etc),
learn to make biscuits from scratch,
vacuum the floors,
clean her room,
clean out a closet or her dresser or the pantry,
polish pots (my Mom had copper bottom pots that I polished every so often)
wash floors,
do laundry,
clean the bathroom,
weed the garden,
mow the lawn,
vacuum the drapes,
walk the dog (or a neighbors dog if you don't have one),
clean and polish her bike (my Mom sometimes let us use car wax to shine up our bikes).
(One time my sister and I got bored and said so.
Our garden was bordered with white rocks.
So we were given paint brushes and a pail of white wash and we re-painted the rocks - it looked pretty good when we finished.
Our son got bored a few weeks ago.
I gave him a brush (on a long handle) and a hose and I had him scrub the mildew off the siding on the north side of the house.)
Suddenly - reading a book will be looking pretty good.
There is never an excuse for boredom.
If she wants something to do - GIVE HER SOMETHING TO DO - and lighten your chore load at the same time.
It doesn't have to be something she wants to do.

Honestly, you are trying way to hard and if you aren't careful you're going to have the same problem with your younger boys.

It is not a parents job to entertain their kids. Outings should be fun, but not a requirement. Your tween, should be able to find things to do: read a book, play on the computer, watch a movie, go outside and find something to do.

The minute my kids start bugging me about being bored, I give them plenty of things to take the boredom away. Walls can always use a cleaning, weeds always need to be pulled. They've learned to keep themselves occupied.

We live rural, so there are no other kids around. There isn't a decent local park, heck there really isn't anything to do unless you drive miles and miles away. How does your yard look? It may be time to have outside things for the kids, our yard looks like a park...sorda.

I start to panic about now because I realize we only have about one month left!
;)

We love summer around here. Part of it is probably because I'm a teacher, so this is my free time, too. I do go to quite a few training sessions, and I mentor some students who are writing IB Extended Essays, but overall, I'm free. My kids don't get bored, or at least they don't tell me if they do.

The lazy days of summer suit us just fine. Staying up late watching movies, sleeping in, eating breakfast outside, swimming all morning, and then coming home to read books when it's too hot to go outside. I love days like that (that's how we're spending our day today, and how we've spent countless other days).

My kids are older, so I'm sure that makes it easier. The "can't let your kids out of your sight" doesn't apply. We also live on a small farm, so their is always some chore to do, or some adventure to have.

I hope the rest of your summer is easier than it has been lately. :)

To give you an idea.. When I was 12, I was watching 3 kids all summer. came up with a daily calendar of stuff we would do with a menu for each days lunch.

I made it into my own summer camp. So your daughter must be able to come up with things to do on her own. If she whines, send her to her room, or give her chores. Cleaning the baseboards, washing the windows... Wash the car.

The difference from your child hood an your daughters childhood?
" I spent all day every day outside running the neighborhood with my brother and the neighbor kids.".

I was the same way. We had a neighborhood full of kids. Yes, I was in summer day camps for years.. and same with some of the other kids, but if I had been home, I would have been able to find all sorts of people to play or hang out with. Your daughter does not have this option.

I guess I am pretty lucky where we live. There are so many free things to do all of the time in our city. Free or very inexpensive neighborhood pools, with awesome playgrounds. Our playgrounds are all free. I used to take our daughter to different parks all around our city.

The libraries are great places to go they have activities every week. Again all around town. We can find those on line. Same with the Book Stores.. Whole Foods sometimes has a free activity.

There are places like stores where they have out door play areas with free live music. So if you do not ant to purchase anything, you can still sit there and listen or dance to music or the kids can play on the playscape while you listen to the music. .

The city has free music out in public spaces. We would take our own lunches. Many of the movie theaters have kid movies once a week, so we can see a movie for $5. Our daughter knew we do not buy snacks at these movies, we would eat BEFORE we went.

There are hiking trails.

The State Capital, State Museums, the University has Free Museums.

On Thursday's the other Museums are free around town.

I also would have our daughter plan, shop and prepare one meal a week for us. I gave her a budget and she would go through the sale ads on Wed.. to decide what she could use for the meal.

She would have her list, the recipes. She would push her own basket and shop for "her meal".

I would have her design thank you notes, Christmas cards, Wrapping paper.. When needed we could pull them out and wrap her gifts with her designs. The grandparents always loved this.

She would work on fun activities so that when her friends got home at night they could run the running course. she had set up. . or try out new games she had researched.

We would sometimes set up a tent in the back yard and she would spend the day in the tent. Reading, playing.. Have her lunch out there.

She would look up science experiements using household items.

Michaels had Rug kits on sale. She learned to knit.

Teach her how to do the laundry. Have her organize the pantry..

Get a puzzle that are above her level..

She needs to really figure this out herself. If she puts or whines. tell her to figure it out or go to her room until she can quit whining.

Have you thought about volunteering somewhere as a family once a week? We deliver meals on wheels and it's great. They love to see the kids and it's good for the kids to see people who benefit from these services. Maybe an animal shelter or nursing home could benefit from your time. We take mornings and go for walks with Walmart sacks and pick up trash in our city. There are lots of opportunities to volunteer.

If you're daughter wants to do a special outing have her earn it. We told our daughter she could bring a friend to an amusement park as soon as she earned the money for the tickets. She did and we're going next week. She is so proud of herself and said now I need to start saving toward my car. I told her a few years ago I would match whatever she saved for a car but I would not work harder than she is willing to for something she wants. She did extra chores for people, mowed, asked people if they needed help in anything. It was great for me to watch and empowered her that she can set goals and see them through.

A book I love for child rearing is Love and Logic. They have one written for parenting teens that has given me such great ideas on how to help my kids become responsible human beings and see the results of hard work and self discipline.

I also side with moms who say if a kid comes to me and says they're bored I can always share my work load. I also respond with wow, what are you going to do about that? Do you need me to help you find something to do? At that point they are good about finding something quickly. And tv time is limited at our house. I'm one of THOSE moms :-)

Blessings!
L.

Have your tried the local Y? they definitely work on a sliding scale and in some cases will allow kids to access for free. They have scholarships of all sorts, sports, day camp, pool access.. Definitely check them out and explain your situation.
Also, you say tween , therefore she might be old enough to volunteer at the Y.. I used to belong to the Y and there were always a lot of young people volunteering. One, it allowed them to be with kids their age, two, gave them FREE access to the Y facility and three, it allowed them to give back to their community in a fun way..
Also at the Y, if your child likes to exercise, there were always lots of young people in my Zumba and Aerobics classes... maybe she'd like one of those.. again, the Y is GREAT about working with a person's monetary situation. As is the Jewish Community Center. (whereby you needn't necessarily be Jewish) .. but they know kids need activities and cater to everyone.. I've been to the centers and they are usually clean, up to date and the staff is usually very nice..

good luck

I feel bad that you and your daughter can't enjoy summer like you used to! I think a huge key to her happiness will be to find joy in little things and not have to be "entertained" all day. Teach her to enjoy life. Write a gratitude journal together or have her do one on her own.

One sentence of yours that caught my attention was that you said her friends "GET to go to summer camps". She may be picking up on this and feeling sorry for herself, thus the whining and constant need for entertainment. Get her back to the basics. I LOVED some of the ideas below. Jobs around the house, volunteering, etc. Get her out of her entitlement mood and into a giving and appreciative spirit mood.

Also, sit down and challenge her to make a list of fun, free things you guys and she can do this summer and then go for it. Let her know that soon enough she will not have summer just to laze around.

Good luck and please try to have a great end of summer!!

I really empathize with you, though we homeschool - therefore I love summer more than my sons do/did!

We started homeschooling youngest son when he was midway through 3rd grade. One of the things I noticed with both my sons is that they became better at entertaining themselves. It is a character trait that we highly value and praise when we see it. Kids need to learn (as do adults) that true fulfillment in life comes from within. When you're always looking for it from the outside world, there will always be something bigger and better to want/need/covet etc. That's human nature. Contentment is something to strive for no matter what the circumstance.

It's one of my least favorite aspects of traditional school life - it's so mega programmed that kids don't have to be creative at all. They just shuffle from one class/activity to the next.

Boredom is a good thing. Necessity is the mother of invention.

But again, I hear you. It's really frustrating.

aw, i'm sorry, hon. that sounds dire.
it sounds as if you're all surly and need a break from each other.
is there a fairygoddessmotherauntie or best friend who might be able to take your daughter for a week?
i adore summer, did as a kid and still do. we were lucky enough to have a neighborhood where my boys could run in a wolfpack when they were little. anyone would get on anyone else's nerves cooped up in a small house with just each other and no break.
the park district pool is way better than nothing. i'd spend a LOT of time there, with a book and earbuds to drown out the whining. (and that should be addressed. her boredom and restlessness are understandable and that should be acknowledged, but constant whining and complaining and demands to do expensive things should have a consequence.)
what about volunteering at zoo, or animal rescue, or park? it could be a family thing, or something you take her to do as a big-girl thing on her own. the away time will probably be as welcome for her as for you.
i hope you find a workable solution soon, mama. i want summer bliss for you!
khairete
S.

What are her interests? How about setting up 1 new event/activity/hobby each day? Monday could be cooking and the two of you could cook and bake together. Whatever SHE chooses from the recipe book/online. Tuesdays could be arts day - would she be interested in scrapbooking, doing pinterst projects, etc? Wednesday could be water day - the pool, the sprinkler in your backyard, buckets of water and ice and doing experiements, etc. Thursday could be move/game day, etc. The options are endless! And I do agree that a schedule is important. Some kids just need DIRECTION on what to do!! Maybe get her some beads and string and let her make necklaces/bracelets. Have her find a pen pal to write letters to, go to the library, etc. Have her create a bucket list of free things she wants to do in the summer!

Soak a washcloth with cool water and put it on your head! Seriously, that helps. The heat is getting to you! The heat wave is ending soon!

Ditto the advice on chores, turning off the TV, and going to the library to find books.

Find some books about cultivating creativity. It is something that can be encouraged. Follow through with the advice. DD needs to have this way of life introduced to her.

With my DD, I ask her what her questions of the day are. Sometimes it is about volcanoes, sometimes cats, sometimes snails. Follow through with finding the answers on the internet or library books, like the DK series.

Two-and-one-half months without reading kills a kid's reading progress. Find a book several of you will enjoy and each of you read it and discuss it, or read it aloud. This can be done with fiction or non-fiction.

Give her a sketchbook and have her draw what she sees in the neighborhood. Or do you have a camera? Have her capture ten interesting shots a day, or have her make a photo story.

One thing that I look back on with regret is that I wanted to learn quilting and my neighbor did it by hand and offered to teach me. I never took her up on it. I now realize the loss of a wealth of knowledge, but I also acknowledge that I had more time to do that sort of activity when I was that age. Have your DD brainstorm things she'd like to learn how to do and see if anyone has those skills near you. Kindling relationships with others in general, not just other 'tweens, is beneficial for the entire community.

Your 'tween could also help run a "day camp." How would she keep kids her brothers' ages engaged? Any scientific experiments they can do? Keep an experiment journal.

When DD complains, change the topic of conversation. Aim to ask her questions that make her think, reflect, research, respond.

You could go very structured and set up a schedule for reading, and then have the kids write book reports, if the creative angle isn't working.

Really, find a book that discusses ways to become creative. Let her come up with her own projects she would like to do.

My DD, who has been to Chicago only once, says Chicago is too big and fun to run out of fun things to do. :) (Research some of the art from the museum?) If all else fails, she suggests summer school for next year.

Take care.

Don't wish away your life. I always loved the summer. Loved having kids home and no real schedule. Enjoy it. You will look back with regrets.

I'm in a different boat. Today I realized that we are already 1/3rd of the way done summer vacation and there is still so much we want to do! We have already gone camping/to the beach (twice), fireworks (three times), to a wedding, mini-golfing (twice), go carting (twice), the zoo (twice), bowling, strawberry picking, petting zoo, swimming, family bike rides, the movies, and the exhibition midway. We have also done our regular routine, with the kids coming with me to the Y three mornings a week, church, library visits and boxing lessons. The kids have gotten together with various friends, both at their homes and ours, and I have also gotten together with my own friends. They have slept in a tent in the backyard (with various friends sleeping over) for the past week. Even with all that we have all had some down time just to hang out, read, play video games and watch movies at home. We still have three more camping trips planned, the museum, two or three nature centers to visit, many different bike trails to conquer, the waterpark, an amusement park, the conservatory, a couple of baseball games, two weeks of swim lessons, fishing, lots of free outdoor concerts and a week of summer camp. Most of the stuff we do is pretty inexpensive. I use coupons and buy memberships, or ask for memberships and gift cards for gifts for the kids rather than toys. We also always invite friends to join us on outings, and the boys get invited out in return. When I do invite friends to come out I do not treat them. Most parents are happy to get rid of their kid for the afternoon for only the cost of admission to whatever it is we are doing, and I always pay when my kids go with another family. When the kids say they are bored there are lots of weeds in my garden!

Do you not have a pool pass? I couldn't stand summer without the pool. When I was a tween, I rode my bike to the pool and hung out with my friends everyday.

When we were kids, our friends were around all summer, not attending camps. I know that made it easier on our parents. I love the idea of looking for volunteer opportunities for her, if she is 11, opportunities may be limited: pet shelters, mothers helper,? I know there are young teens working the reading program table at our local library, they sit at the table and help kids sign up and check in for the program.

What I tell my DD is that she can take x event or stay home. I don't need to waste my time and money on someone that won't appreciate it. I am an advocate of the boring chores jar where if they are soooo boooored they can clean toilets or something. I've had my fill of young people who can't show some respect this week, so I'm a bit snarly on your behalf. She needs to appreciate that she gets to go to a pool at all. Is there a nominal fee where you could bring a friend if the friend paid?

We are surviving b/c DD has a summer program, we are members of our pool, and we go to the library events.

You might also check out a Meet Up for parents in your area who are also pulling their hair out.

Thank you. I knew others had to feel this way. I just don't understand how moms out there manage. We are lucky in that we've been able to do camps, but that's not all day. And I don't want to turn to screens.

Drowning without a life preserver for sure! You said it well.

And to say that kids should be bored and we shouldn't have to entertain them every second is all good. But wen you are in the trenches listening to them literally CRY because they are bored, or simply fight with each other nonstop...well, it's not easy.

It is hard to keep kids entertained all summer so don't feel badly if you're frustrated. But it is true that kids grow up so quickly and you'll miss them when they aren't around bugging you.
Your location says Chicago - I cannot believe you've exhausted all the free stuff the city has to offer! Check out the park district - pools, events, movies. Some pools have more fun features like water slides or spray park. Visit new playgrounds - my kids loved Oz Park in Lincoln Park and Indian Boundary Park (2500 W. Lunt) - but there are hundreds to try out. Go to the beach. Chicago Public Library has free programs plus you can check out free museum passes. They have an online system to see which libraries have which passes. Try some of the museums that aren't downtown - DuSable, National Museum of Mexican Art - Summer Dance in Chicago (lessons followed by live music), concerts at Millennium Park. Fountain at Millennium Park. And there are new things every week. The list is truly endless. Do some of these outings in the evening or on a weekend and allow your daughter to being a friend sometimes.
Good luck and hang in there!

Aside from the heat, I am LOVING this summer, although I was dreading it as the last days of the school year approached. I love not stressing about hurrying my kids to bed by 7:30 so they could be well rested enough to be o ut of the house by 7 am.

Ask your kids what they can think of to do that's free. Maybe they have some ideas you haven't thought about .Also, can you call a friend that you haven't in a while to get together at a park or something . The time goes by quickly when we (moms ) are having fun .Even just getting out of the house for a walk helps . You can all use a change of scenery ! Hope it gets better:0)

I know how you feel! I feel the same way. We can't afford camps either and we can maybe do a nice non free outing like once a month. Sometimes the only thing that helps us is when we are bored is to go to michaels and get some new craft stuff and do crafts. We made sidewalk paint, paper crafts and just painting on little canvases. My kids are still young enough (6 and 8) that we can still go to the $1 regal movies. We have a community pool too. I am looking forward to going back to school, but that also means I have to go back to work because I work at a school.

Well at least you can vent here and are honest about your thoughts.
No Mom is a perfect "Mary Poppins."
Me included.
LMAO!

Try having your daughter, EARN something and "work."
She or you can volunteer her to do things in the neighborhood.
Or babysit?
Make her do something productive.
She can earn money for it!

Hi there, it seems like you have recieved a lot of great ideas already. So I'll only add a bit since I don't think anyone mentioned this idea:

My tween daughter reads magazines such as American Girl, Discovery Girls and KiKi. She used her own birthday money to subscribe to American Girl. The other two magazines she checks out at the library. Anyway, there are some really good articles in there for tweens to read. There are contests in there too that your daughter might be interested in, but read the deadline for the contest before having her start it. My daughter got a magazine today from a birthday party she went to. (part of the party favor) Anyway... she said, "Mom this looks like a really good writing contest. I think I am going to enter it." That's when I looked and saw that the deadline had already occurred. Which doesn't make sense because it's a June/July issue. I love when she shares articles in these magazines with me. It keeps us talking and sharing our feelings about the topics... such as an embarrassing moment, what would you do situations, etc... There are plenty of craft and gardening ideas in these girl magazines too to get your daughter inspired to do her own.

Someone did mention Pinterest. It's awesome! You can find so many inexpensive ideas to do this summer with your kids there! Just type in the search button for what you are looking for. You can narrow it down say... gardening with kids (not just the word gardening) If your boys are much younger you could search for preschool games or fun with little kids, etc.. I have organized so much on Pinterest, and I actually use a lot of the ideas I find. You can join free to save what you are looking at for later or you can just search for ideas for now. Here's a board of mine that you might like to look at for ideas for your daughter: http://pinterest.com/1joy1/let-s-have-some-fun/. My kids can go to this board and do many of these things on their own while I am doing the laundry, cooking, etc... My daughter loves to bake, make crafts, make doggie treats and toys, etc.. so she looks at some of my other boards, too.

Have fun trying some of the ideas out that we've shared with you.

You look back wistfully to your carefree and fun Summers as a child but I'm sure your mom's perspective is eerily similar to yours regarding your kids. While I do recall laying in the shade in the grass and marveling at the branches of the giant oak tree I also recall my mother throwing us out of the house after the 1,000th "I'm bored" comment.

What about crafts? When my daughter was a tween she really enjoyed making friendship bracelets, beaded things, Christmas decorations, etc. There are super easy crochet projects that even my sister-in-law (otherwise un-crafty) mastered in a few minutes and she was able to make quick and ruffle-y scarves. Maybe she can attack your Christmas gift list? What about baking (there are no-bake options)? When I was tween I loved baking cookies. I remember one Summer making the cookie batter in the day and doing the baking in the evening after the day cooled off. My mom suggested I bag them and take them to all the elderly people we knew - the little old ladies loved it. Look up food pantries or local "missions" that provide food and clothing for poor families. They often welcome kids as volunteers (they have to be accompanied by parents) they can sort donated clothing by size and gender, they can prepare boxes of food, distribute to people who come, etc. I bring my kids to do this stuff and they ALWAYS complain on the way there and I tell them " you will be glad you did this afterwards - I promise you will" and every time we finish, get in the car and drive off my kids say - without my prompting - "you were right mom, I'm glad we did this". Ask at your church or local senior center if there are any elderly people in the community who could use help to clean up their yard. Just an hour with a couple of kids spent in their yard picking up branches, throwing out garbage, clearing out weeds would be a HUGE blessing to some little old lady or man. Don't be surprised if they try to slip your kids a dollar or two, or give them some delicacy from their cabinets as a thank you. It will grow & humble your kids in a way you could never accomplish around their own home.

Good luck mama - this is a short season of our lives that we moms are just so tired and we only want an hour of peace from time to time (is that too much to ask?) but they do grow up and away and we do miss those days when they were underfoot making us crazy!

I am experiencing the same thing.

But, I don't let my kids tell me they are bored. If they do, I give them a chore to do. I tell them I can keep them very busy if they can't find something to do on their own. I don't think it's a parents job to stand on our heads to entertain our kids. They need to use some original and imaginative thought.

My kids are also fighting a lot and just the other day it came to a head. On their first fight of the day (oh, about 7:45 am) I sat them both down and told them that if I don't see who starts the fight, then they both go to their rooms. And I also told them that if they are having trouble working through something to tell me they need help BEFORE they start fighting and we can work through it together. It's worked for a couple days now, I have to remind them often of the plan though. It's just SO easy for them to yell and hit each other *sigh*

Have you done any nature trails to get the energy out? Our area has a plethora of conservation areas with great walking trails. Lots of places to ride bikes or bring scooters or roller skates/blades. I'd look here: http://fpdcc.com/ and run them ragged :) McHenry and Kane counties also have great conservation areas.

Then you won't feel so guilty about that afternoon movie or video gaming if they've been active, and you can refresh then too :)

I hear ya! Believe me.

I love summer. My boys are at Boy Scout camp, baseball season ended, and my oldest is looking forward to start football in August. We try to go to State Fair every year and my family has a cabin to go to sometimes. I like it it because I don't have to nag the kids to do homework. My oldest who's 12 has a job. The only thing I don't like is my kids don't usually pick up after themselves and I have dishes in the sink when I get home. As a kid, I liked to read books, play with my dogs and did hobbies like playing some sports. My friends and I hung around the tennis courts. I think your child just needs to pick up some hobbies.

I absolutely LOVE summer!!!!!

For you daughter, I suggest this. Put her to "work" When I was a kid, we learned real quick not to complain to our mom that we were "bored". Cuz if we did, she found things for us to do. Like dusting, weeding, laundry, cleaning out a closet etc.
Kids are way too spoiled and lazy anymore. I'm sure she has plenty of nice toys, gadgets etc to keep her entertained. And if not, seriously put her butt to work. You as a mom should NOT be getting badgered to death to the point you'd rather summer be over then deal w/ her being home. Nip it in the bud. It's unfair to you and the other kids.And if she complains that something isn't fun enough. Don't take her next time! you have to handle this, don't let her continue w/ the behavior. My 5 yr old already knows, he complains he doesn't go again, And I find a chore for him to do for "draining my energy" by complaining!