The court just ordered for my six year old son to have an extended visit with his father for 2 months this summer. I am having a really hard time with this decision. Let me give a little background. My ex lives in Las Vegas and we live in MI. My son has not seen his father in over a year and by the time summer comes around he will not have seen him for 16 months. The reason he has not seen him is because my ex did not use his parenting time last summer, Thanksgiving Break, Winter Break or Spring Break. My son has never spent more than 2 night away from me ever. I do think it is very important that he spends time with his father to build a relationship and bond, but I am concerned about his emotional well being. Our case is still in AZ juridiction and I hope to have it moved to MI soon. I have thought of moving back to AZ so that my son would be able to have more regular visits with his father and not have the long distance relationship. However, my ex states that he may move again and then we would be back in the same position in the future. I just can't decide if the move is the right decision or not and need some help. If my ex would stay in one place it would be an easy decision, but with the chance of him moving it is a difficult decision. I wish he would just put our son;'s emotinal well being first. His response is "He isn't a piece of china, he won't break."
If your ex has not spent any time with his son for 16 months, I would also be concerned how dad will do with a six-year-old for 8 weeks... If he has not used his parenting time over that many breaks, what obligation do you have to allow the 8 week summer visit? I hope you are talking about this with your lawyer to understand your options here.
Do not move to AZ. You might get stuck living there. You can call your son every day or have him call you when he wants. If he is unable to handle the six weeks and the father doesn't get on with him bring him home.
Otherwise both of you are caught in the mesh of the legal system.
By the way the father does not seem to be very reliable and so the whole thing might collapse or it could be the best summer your son ever has.
.
I wouldn't base your decision on where your ex is. I would live wherever it is best for you and your son based on job, other family, etc.
His response worries me. He is not a piece of china, but is the father mean emotionally to your son or nice to him? Can you change your visitation? Have it appealed or something? So that you have to be there. My papers specifically say if she goes to her dad's I am to be with her the whole time. I would try my damndest to change it... he doesn't sound like a very good father. He has neglected to see him, put a notarized statement of all those visitation he missed. I agree it's important but I always agree the child's safety is first so I would try to change it that I have to be with him type of thing of that his dad has to go to him.
Has he paid child support? If not, that is grounds for abandonment and losing his rights I believe.
