Summer Birthdays and Kindergarten

I have been thinking about this a lot lately too. My little girl will be 3 at the end of July and I am trying to decide if we should start pre-school now but if I send her to kindergarten late, that would be 3 years of pre-school (which seems like too much).

A had a friend ask me this - would you rather her be driving before all her friends OR be the young one tagging along with everyone?

That made me want her to be the older one... but I am looking forward to reading the other responses. Thanks for posting the question!

It seems to me over the years i have read it is always better if they are older before starting school.

I have 4 children, 3 of them with summer birthdays.

I held all of them for that extra year, and I've never regretted it. They all had extra maturity, confidence, and I didn't have to worry about putting on extra "heat" when they slacked off on school work....I KNEW they were old enough and should be able to handle all assignments. If you send your child early and she struggles, you will constantly be questioning whether you did the right thing.
Also, she will enjoy having the first birthday between her friends, (turning 10 first is such a big thing!).
An added bonus as my kids got older, was that they got their driver's licenses sooner! I only had to carpool them to high school their freshman year....they could drive already for their Sophomore years and beyond..(that was a relief!) Think about sending your child off to college when she's barely 18. For me, for some reason it was much easier sending mine out into the world knowing she was turning 19. Right now you're just thinking about the next few years of elementary school, but this decision continues with ramafications up until college!
Certainly, there will be children younger than her in her classes, but don't be surprised if there are many children older! My son has kids in his classes with April and June birthdays who were started in K at 6, nearly 6 1/2!... Good luck!

My son will be 5 in July, and is excited about "K". My in-laws are all teachers and 1 is a principal, they say send him now. You would know if your child is not ready! Take them to go see the school and talk about it everyday. Why spend another year in Preschool when they can start to learn so much more! Just my opinion.

Both of my children have very early fall bithdays. With my son I waited. He clearly wasn't ready. My daughter seemed ready so she went early to kindergarten. My son did excelent accademically all through out school. He was in gate in grade school and he went to a magnet school for junior high and high school. He's doing well in college. My daughter who stared a year younger did well in kindergarten. By first grade she started to fall behind. Every year there after she struggled. She finially caught up in junior high when I sent her to private school. It's very hard to undo the putting child in school early. If your daughter proved to be too advanced for her class in the future, I think it would be a feather in her cap to be advanced a grade. On the other hand, being held back is hard on a kid.

Dear K.,
I have three sons.

The oldest is born in June and was a premie. I held him back for a number of reasons, partly because he was very small...was still the smallest boy in the class when he started at 6 years old.

The second was a July birthday and although he was borderline, I did not hold him back because I was pregnant with my third. I regret that. Although he was only slightly smaller, teachers often told me if he was more mature he would be a good leader...took a while to mature
and I think socially he would have done better, but academically he did fine.

My third son has an August birthday. He was held back because he still could not hold a pencil correctly and held it in a fist...I felt the push for writing in the now K would not be good for him.

Your daughter is small...so that is an advantage. If you are ever going to hold back, keeping them in preschool is the best year because nobody really is aware of it and the child has not had to struggle and feel dumb. I did not regret holding my two sons back. They both did very well and never had academic problems. I personally had to stay back in 5th grade and that was hard. I think I would probably put her in the pre-K. Two families at church did that with their daughters and they are both trememdously pleased that they did because they are now doing so well in 1st.

God's blessing on your family and in your decision.
H.

I can understand your situation. We sent our older son to Kinder when he was 4, he was ready socially (which everyone said was more important) but not academically, and he stayed back in first grade (with no tramautic effects!)and is now doing great. So with our younger son, it was just assumed we would not make the same mistake again and we held him back as well. Unfortunately, he does get bored/bossy in class and we are working with the teacher on how to keep him challenged. We have considered skipping a grade, but I have been lately seeing the fruits of being the oldest in the class. He is mentoring and encouraging some of the kids who are struggling and he is learning a lot from teaching them. He is learning to do his work with excellence. He is helping his teacher and learning additional responsibility. Homework is much easier so there is more time for sports and physical activity after school. He is learning to control himself when he is done with his work and gets bored and will now pick up his book or do some extra work. That was key - finding things to keep him constructively busy after he finishes his work and waits for the rest of the class. I've had kids on both ends of the spectrum and it's not easy, but I would definitely recommend being on the older end, esp. as they enter high school. There are many amazing opportunities for learning outside of school as well. Good luck!!

K.,

Please explore the information provided by Larry Garf in the link below. He has come to Long Beach to speak several times and has had a positive influence on all who have heard him speak - many are local teachers.

http://www.heyquitpushing.com/why-sooner-inst-better.html

In my experience as a Parent Coach (and as a mom and a child who started kindergarten at age four) the adage to apply is "when in doubt, don't."

Best,
C.

I have daughters with a June 30, August 30 and October 1 bdays and I held all of them back that bonus year. My oldest, who is the 10.1 bday is now in 4th grade and she is the top of her class and very cnfident in her ability. My second oldest, 8.30 is the same in 2nd. grade now and the teacher's for the both of them are all so thankful that they were so prepared by the Junior Kindergarten that I had them do before entering Kindergarten. My youngest daughter will start in the fall and is just completing JK now and she is ready to read before Kindergarten starts. Not only is it a great academic booster, but huge in the self esteem and confidence building too which is so important in the years to come. If my little boy did not have a February bday, i would do the same with him, but that would make him turn 7 in Kindergarten and I think in the long run it would hurt him.

I am all for the bomus year. BTW, all 3 of my daughter's tested READY for kindergarten the year before I sent them, but I felt it was not going to hurt and I absolutely made the right decision!!

Good luck!
W. (We are in the NMUSD)

If there is any doubt, keep her out. Just check w/ public if you intend to send her public at 6 -- they may skip her to first based on age alone --- its been done before! Crazy I know.