Suggestions for Getting My Son to "Poopie" in the Potty

It was smooth sailing to accomplish this with my son when he was 3 yrs. old...I promised him his first trip to Chuck E. Cheese's for 5 poopies in the potty. The next five times he went were in the potty and he never looked back!!
Flip side-my daughter is 4 and a half and has been a real challenge in this area. I had to keep in mind that she had to do it when she was ready. No rewards worked...I tried them ALL. Finally, we got Hannah Montana panties and boom-she hasn't gone in her pull up since!
Basically, I think it will happen when he's ready.

This sounds silly, but we have two almost 2 1/2 year olds who are doing pretty good about going pee on the potty. Over the weekend we bought the Huggies Clean Team wipes that come in a neat package, and when I showed them to the girls, I told them that they were wipes for going poopy ("poopy wipes") and the toilet paper was pee-pee wipes. Wouldn't you know that the twin that hasn't ever gone poopy on the potty went 6 out of 8 times on the potty over the weekend just so she could use the poopy wipes? Just a suggestion, not sure if it would work on your little boy or not, but good luck. Potty training is exhausting (especially two at a time!), but it will pay off in the end.

Not sure if this has already been mentioned, so disregard if so. Try the book Everyone Poops. Barnes & Noble or Borders should have it. I have used this book with many children in the past and it really helped some of them. You could also do activities related to the book. Like drawing/coloring your own animals out of paper and having him take them to the potty. This would give him control over his animals poops. Hope this helps.

My third son requested a diaper for poop even though he was dry all the time (even at night.) He did this for several months until we agreed on a stop date. He transferred to the potty without incident and never looked back. So, my advice is to have patience and negotiate with the child.

I have 3 boys and I had the hardest time with my 2nd one. With all 3 of them I had to make it fun for them, make it into a game, sing silly songs, what have you. Dont try to be too serious or get upset becuase that doesnt work with kids (especially boys) and might make them back off a little. Oh and in my experience the "your a big boy and big boys dont poop in their diaper" doesnt do much good either, my kids just looked at me I was a loony tune, they didnt fall for that one! lol! There are so many books for ideas, you really just have to find what works for your son (not for you!)

Hi C.,
I have been through this exact scenario. After my little girl held in her poop for 4 days when I would not put a diaper on her, I began to get worried. A nurse told me to let her poop in the diaper, as it is dangerous to hold it in and can result in a trip to the emergency room. The tummy aches are most likely from holding it in. Every week or two we would have her try to sit on the potty and poop, and if she still wasn't ready we put the diaper on her when she asked. It is very normal for children this age to be afraid of poop. My daughter finally decided about age 3 1/2 to poop in the potty on her own. When she was ready, and it was her idea, she just did it without any fuss! All along we reassured her that she would be able to do it eventually, and we didn't shame her for still pooping in the diaper. Telling people what the nurse told me usually kept them from interfering in the process. Just be patient and it will happen (and sooner if you don't pust it!). Videos about going in the potty, such as Elmo and Bear in the Big Blue House were helpful also. I don't think offering rewards is a good idea. Good luck!!

Time for Mom and Dad to take control. Refuse to put the diaper on him. Make him responsible for helping clean up the mess- make him rinse the poop out of the undies into the toilet. Also, put him in time out for a 15- 30 minutes and increase it each time he messes. He will soon get the picture.

Hi C.
I am a teacher in a nursery school and mother of two. I work with potty training everyday bc I am a toddler teacher. I know this sounds kind of strange but it might be that he is afraid to let his poop fall. His whole life he has had something up against his bottom while he pooped and now he has to do it over a large hole! He may respond to this:
Use an old towel that you dont mind throwing away. Place it on the toilet and ask him to sit on it. The cloth up against his bottom might be the security he needs to relax.
It is worth a shot!!!!
Good Luck T. W.

C.,
How does your son do with a reward system? Do you give him a "reward" for going pee in the potty or anything like that? Maybe you could create a chart of some sort and allow him to place a sticker in a column either for poop or pee. When he gets enough stickers you could give him a reward like going to get ice cream one evening (something simple).
Also, what do you do with the poop after he goes in the diaper? I would let him flush it down the toilet and tell it good bye. Maybe this way he would not be afraid of it.
Being a nurse myself, the last thing I would do is refuse to give him a diaper or punish him when he does go in a diaper. Not only is this bad for his health (as stated above) but it also creates a negative vibe about pooping in the potty.
Good luck,
D.

You are not the only mom out there with this problem and it is very normal for a child to do this. My daughter will be 3 in October and is peeing just fine on the potty and is asking for the diaper to go poop. She has gone poopie on the potty before but it really freaked her out. My nieces have done the same thing and eventually realized it was okay and are just fine. As far as punishing a child for asking for a diaper or "taking control" of the situation is reallt ridiculous. This is a very stressful milestone that a child takes and if you punish the child for being freaked out about it they will only be more stressed. It is sad that someone would be that way> How about a little support and some encouragement? I have never heard of a child going to first grade and asking a teacher for a diaper to go poopie. Your child will work through this in his own time just be supportive.

I had that problem with my son as well. First we let him pick out his own undies in the store. Then we bought him a great new toy that we put up on the mantle where he could see it and told him he could have it when he went poopy in the potty three times. Then we would put him on the toilet before a bath, with a book, and let him sit and relax while the tub filled up. He started making progress with all that. Finally we ran out of Pull Ups and I just didn't buy anymore. I told him we were out of them and he had to wear undies and go in the potty and that was all it took.

I have heard of Moms having to give their little one enemas and laxatives when they hold it too much. We always use Triscuits to get him going. But you might wanna talk to the doctor before giving him any medicines.

Good luck!

This question has come up numerous times. You should look up old answers because you will find even more child-centered approaches. I don't believe in the "taking control" approach. There are three things that a toddler has absolute control over--eating, sleeping and pooping. Everything else is in the control of his parents. We have to allow them to make their own choices about their body functions. We can present them with healthy choices to eat, but we can't force them to eat. We can tell them it is bedtime, but we can't force them to go to sleep. We also have to allow them to use the toilet when they are physically AND emotionally ready. Otherwise it could backfire and cause problems in the future--embarrassment over pooping, holding it in, etc.

If it is any consolation, my almost 4-year old daughter still poops in a diaper, despite peeing in the potty since she was 3.5. She has a personality (as well as being age three) which has a need for control. I think this is spilling over into her sitting on the potty to poop. She just can't let go of her muscles enough. I'm trying to be patient, but it IS difficult and I'm tired of changing diapers. But I trust that she will someday do it.

Good luck, Laura