Suggestion for an Outdoor Wedding

Updated on May 31, 2011
S.S. asks from Binghamton, NY
16 answers

I got engaged on Saturday. I have two questions... I live in NY and we want an outdoor wedding, any thoughts?...we are planning for a June wedding. The second is slightly more complicated...my Dad has never been very ...let's say active, in my life. I want my grandfather who stepped into the 'father' role to walk me down but I don't want to hurt my Dad...any suggestions on how to go about it?

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So What Happened?

Okay, Thanks first of all for everyone's input. We are getting married June 16th 2012 not next month! Sorry I was really tired when I wrote this. My Dad has been babysitting my son for a couple of hours 2 days a week for a while now and he seems to be okay it's just whenever I needed him, I couldn't count on him so I don't want to stress about it for a whole year! I am 23 years old and the time that my Dad has been in my life for a grand total of 2 years and the only reason I even call him Dad is because I was very close to his mother who asked me to call him that weeks before she died. I also have a son who will be 3 who I have been thinking might walk me down the aisle but for as long as I can remember I have always wanted my Grandfather to do it. I just don't want to hurt anyone but I can't have someone I don't know give me away at the same time!!!

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M.F.

answers from New York on

Congrats. I can't advise you on the escort, but I will tell you about my friend's outdoor wedding (took place in August). I forget the name of the site, but it was in Andover NJ (I think it's off Rt. 80, so accessible from the City and NY state). Google it. I remember loads of butterflies around the flowers on site. It was pretty.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Ask your grandfather if that's what you want. If your dad is hurt, that's his fault for not being there.

Don't worry about your father's feelings, your grandfather earned the role, not your dad. Do what you want at your wedding.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

We were married in a church and then had an outdoor reception that went late into the night (it was summer of course!). We had tables set up around a large pool area with flowers floating in the pool. The whole place had fairy lights twinkling everywhere, and guests were greeted by a string quartet and waiters with champagne. The tables were decorated simply with handmade (by me!) jar candle holders decorated with crystals so they twinkled, along with gardenias which are so aromatic and filled the air with a beautiful scent. We kept it simple, but had lovely chair covers and tableclothes. Aaah, it was a beautiful night under the stars! Oh, and, CONGRATULATIONS!

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D.G.

answers from Syracuse on

we rented a tent,put up on heritage site across from lake and had local restaurant cater it........tent people put in dance floor and hired dj........excellent----especially with sunset!!!

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D.C.

answers from Toledo on

June is HOT HOT HOT HOT! I would aim for an early fall wedding if you want something outside. I got married outside in September and it was perfect. Plus, every body and their brother gets married in June. You might even find that things are completely booked for that month more than a year in advance. By having the wedding in the fall, you'll miss most of the humidity and the unbearably hot weather. You don't want to sweat to death in your gown and imagine how the guys would feel in the tuxedos!

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

Congrads on the engagement. I had an outdoor June wedding 9 years ago. It was pretty hot for formal wear but we survived. The afternoon ceremony was hot but it was nice in the late afternoon and evening. We picked a place that had good outdoor space and a building if the weather didn't cooperate. My sister had a church ceremony and outdoor reception in early Sept. I have not been in Binghamton since college (18 years ago) but it has some beautiful places. Maybe there are some state parks that rent for events.

My only practical tip (other than have a backup plan) is that grass and pointy heels don't mix well. Chunky heels are okay if you like heels and will be walking on grass or anything uneven. I walked down a big hill into the ceremony so I had to be able to balance. It was in a big outdoor labyrinth so it was well worth the walk, even in heels.

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C.D.

answers from New York on

just do it its more important to have the acting father do it its just a title and its your day enjoy. outdoor wedding try a restuarant with out door area may be to late to plan it enjoy its your day

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C.H.

answers from New York on

How about having them both escort you down the aisle, flanking you on either side. Both men seem to be important to you, with one stepping in to provide the added support where the other one didn't (or couldn't).

Congratulations on your engagement. Try not to let the stresses of wedding planning and family dynamics and "tradition" interfere with the joy of the day. Do what makes the most sense and has the most meaning for you and your groom.

All the best to you!

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K.L.

answers from Erie on

Can you make dad feel special in some other way? Perhaps he could do a reading or a candle-lighting? If he is a traditionalist who will feel hurt if he doesn't "give you away" I agree with the other ladies who suggested including them both...

We did an outdoor reception (after a church wedding) in August in PA. The biggest piece of advice I can give is to have a tent or pavilion large enough to - comfortably! - fit all your guests, food and entertainment. You never know what the day will be and you don't want everyone jammed together if it's raining or blazing hot. Feel free to ping me if you want to bounce any other ideas off me...

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Just check the weather. Considering how incredibly hot and humid is it right now, outdoors in June may be really tough! What about something in the Finger Lakes in September. We got married here in the Hudson Valley in the beginning of September and the weather was beautiful! Not too hot, a little cool at night and no rain!

As for who walks you down the aisle, that's really up to you and only you. If your grandfather has been the constant in your life, then (just my opinion here) he is the person who deserves the honor of walking you down the aisle. Your father could still be part of the processional and walk in with either his wife or a female cousin or aunt just ahead of your mother.

Just from experience, you want to be surrounded by love and support in the minutes before you walk down the aisle, not any additional emotion (like an absentee father apologizing for his lack of presence). For me, I just wanted quiet and my dad, who is has a calming effect on most people. I remember him looking at me in the back of the church and telling me that this was my last chance to walk away b/c once I walked down that aisle and said my vows in front of God and our families, we were a couple. It was oddly comforting to have the conversation with my father just before walking down the aisle. I found out later that he had the same conversation with my husband earlier that morning with the same reaction.

M.M.

answers from Detroit on

We were married outdoors in Florida with 8 friends and family in attendance. We had a reception once we returned home. In my case, there was no asile to walk down. This is YOUR day and if you want your grandfather to walk you down, that's what you need to do. No need to have both men walk you down. If your dad has not been active in your life, I would not feel guilty about not asking him to do this. Sounds like he was not there for many important events in your life...he cannot expect that he deserves the HONOR of this important moment. I would ask your grandpa and if your dad questions it, simply tell him you have asked your grandpa because that's who you want to do it.

Remember, this is YOUR day.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

As far as the wedding goes, you can certainly plan for an outdoor wedding
as long as you have a plan B in case it rains. As far as the Dad issue,
that is a tough one. When did you see your Dad last? If he really is not in
your life at all, then I do not see a problem. If he is in on a limited basis,
that could be a touchy situation. Can't help much on that without having
more info.

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K.V.

answers from Rochester on

CONGRATS!!!

I got married on Sunday of Memorial weekend 5 yrs ago, outdoor ceremony & reception at same place, it was the HOTTEST day we had that year so needless to say everyone was "sweating" at the ceremony but as the night went on it got cooler-so don’t let the month dictate anything because you never know what the weather is going to be….

As for your dad… I am in the same situation and I had my mom walk me down the aisle. Telling my father was the hardest thing I had to do, he wasn’t happy at first but as I explained further he began to accept it. My day turned out perfect!! Just be honest with him and yourself.

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T.S.

answers from Boston on

congrats!

We got married in my parent's back yard, but there are many great outdoor locations. I guess it depends on how large of a ceremony you'd like to have, and how many chairs you have available. ;) Many officiants will do your wedding anywhere you please, so it really is up to your imagination.

As for your Dad, why not ask them both to walk you? Both my parents walked me because my Mom didn't want to be left out! LOL.

Good luck! :D

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A.H.

answers from New York on

No specific suggestions for the wedding venue, but I would suggest a place that had a garden as well as an indoor, perhaps glass-enclosed, so it still feels a bit outdoorsy) atrium that could be used as a alternate in case of rain or otherwise harsh weather. I went to one at a yacht club once that was gorgeous.

As for your Dad, I think it's wonderful that you are going to ask your grandfather, and I think you should go with your heart. I also think though that you need to speak to your father about it first and explain your feelings, as well as hear his thoughts on it (though it is ultimately your decision). I do not know the circumstances of why he was not in your life, and honestly, sometimes the children don't really know the real circumstances either. He might really regret that "failing" of his, and it might hurt him more than you might even imagine to not be the one to walk you down the aisle. Or he might agree with you that your grandfather is the right man to do the honors. Congrats on your engagement!

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

S.:

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

I got married in Worchester, MA in October - it was an outdoor wedding - in fact both of my weddings were outdoor weddings!! LOL!!!

In regards to your dad - I would have them both walk you down the isle. If your dad hasn't been active in your life - do you think he's going to show up for your wedding? I'm NOT trying to be mean or hurtful - but parents who don't participate in a child's life...typically aren't there for the important events either!!!

Not sure what info you want on an outdoor wedding - timing? location? My first wedding was in Southern California on Memorial Day weekend - 200 people - we had it at 10AM - before it got too hot.

My second wedding? 5PM on a fall day - it was PERFECT....not too hot, not too cold.

If you expand on your desires...I'll give input!

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