Hi V.,
I would like for you to keep in mind this: there are a few Anglo-Saxon and Indo-European countries in the world, where the educational system does not formally teach their children how to read and write before the ages of 7 to 8 years. The early school years are spent socializing, and learning through play. Within that first year of formal learning, all the kids are on task. These are high net worth countries with a high quality of life, and a much lower crime rate than here in the US...
There is scientific backing to this practice: there are specific areas of the brain that address language processing, and there are different areas that specifically address auditory processing of language, verbal production, and synthesis and analysis of written patterns. Many children forced to participate in formal instruction of reading and writing don't physically have the brain power yet to accomplish such specific tasks. Let alone the fine motor skills to hold pencils, OMG draw between the lines!!! or turn pages without ripping them....or gosh behold! sit in one place for two hours!
My biggest beefs about the current school system here in San Diego: the language arts block for the first two hours of school, especially for those poor kids who get off the bus and really need to run around before they go to class. yes yes they change activities every 20 mns, they're still cooped up for two hours before their first break time.
My second big beef about formal schooling in general? All those studies about children's developmental milestones, their physical needs, kinesthetic learning (learning through motion), musical learning, discovery learning, phonics vs. whole language....having classrooms where teachers teach to all kinds of learners, differentiated teaching...God Bless those teachers! with the current Blueprint! All the knowledge we gain in teacher training, about how individualized our children are in their developments, there is little room for it in our curriculum! Our system is aligned with standards, but our kids are non-standard! Why do you think so many parents hold back their children from entering kinder at 5? And not just boys either!
Wouldn't you say kinder today is what 1st grade used to be 20 years ago? Have our children become that gifted in just one generation? Or is the system trying to fix something by going about it the wrong way? Meanwhile, lets look at discipline... look at how children are behaving in the classroom, speak to some of the teachers out there: would you have gotten away with such things when you were kids? And how many children were in your kinder class: I bet a whole lot more than 20!
So where should our priorities lie? Socializing our children during this window of opportunity, helping them learn empathy, sharing, working for the good of the group, getting to know themselves as little people, or trying to squeeze the round peg in the square hole?
How come some kids can keep up? Well, we are all different aren't we. But don't you know of kids who had a slow start in school, who by the time they reached 3rd grade had caught up with others who had spent their toddler years with flashcards in front of their face all day?
I'm not saying drop it all together. Exposure and re-exposure is the key to learning. How many times did you hear a concept explained to you, and then one day it suddenly POPS clearly as the day! You just weren't ready yet. The necessary connections in your brain added to your knowledge base were not sufficient for you to finally "get it" until that very moment!
So your child is not having his reading A-Ha moment yet. Be patient. Be supportive, but I beg you to not be overbearing. When he gets to school, be his best advocate, if you see him giving his best effort, he's enjoying his experience, he is developing healthy relationships with his peers and his teacher, he is learning at his own pace, don't try to beat it into him like I see many parents do...this only beats out the natural enthusiasm your child has to learn.
The worst thing that can happen in school? a punitive environment, a teacher who is after the grade not the improvement, a parent who does not dialogue with the teacher and the administration...a child who is not ready to operate in a classroom environment... Most schools and teachers are very supportive, get to know them, their style, take time to volunteer in the classroom so you can better converse with your child about events and perceptions of those events.
Enthusiasm and personal drive to discovery, satisfaction in one's own achievements, are what pushes people to succeed. It's not how your child measures up to other children, but how he measures up to himself. How willing is he? How curious does he continue to be? The tools for learning will fall into place given his drive to discover and acquire new information, but his natural drive is what ultimately will make all the difference. The best you can do is provide multiple and varied opportunities for it to manifest itself.
Keep the wonder in these "Wonder Years"
In Friendship and Support,
V.