Sudden Fussiness with Breastfeeding and Bedtime

Updated on December 23, 2008
V.M. asks from Lincoln, MA
12 answers

Hi All - I have two questions I'm hoping to get some feedback on to do with my 3 1/2 month old daughter. FIRST: About a week ago she suddenly became fussy while breastfeeding - She used to feed a good 20-30 mins on average (I only feed on one side at a time due to fast letdown). Now she only feeds for about 10 minutes and towards the end of the 10 mins starts pulling off and whining/crying and then going back on and repeating that over and over. After about 2 days of it happening now and again I tried putting her on the other breast and that seems to help - she'll happily feed for another 10-15 mins before either finishing happily or sometimes getting fussing again. What is this about? I thought maybe I was running low on milk and she was freaking out because she couldn't get anything, but when I check, there is definitely milk there! She's feeding like mad as well (every one/two hours sometimes) where she used be be every 4 hours like clock work - its starting to exhaust me and also it's kind of upsetting me because I don't know why all of a sudden she's gotten all weird about it......SECOND: speaking of getting weird, we were just cracking a great bedtime routine - around 7:30pm she'd be changed, get into pjs, turn the lights out, put on her lullabys and I'd rock her to sleep in my arms which would usually take about 15-20 mins. Things were going swimmingly for about 1 1/2 weeks, but now all of a sudden it's like she's cottoned on to the fact it means bed time and screams the house down. I've resorted to feeding her now in order to get her to sleep - but sometimes its as late as 10:30/11:00 before she goes down and sometimes I'm feeding her on and off for an hour! I don't know why all of a sudden it's a problem - she doesn't do this during the day at all. Again, it's exhausting and I'm worried the bedtime is getting later and later and surely that's not good! ANY advice on either or both of these would be HUGELY appreciated. Thanks in advance!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all so much for the amazing responses! So good to hear the advice as well as the stories to know I'm not the only one. Also great to be told to ignore that pressure to have a 3 1/2 month old in a routine - I think I've read too many books when it would've been better to just ask all the moms here in the first place! I think I'm going to make more of an effort to just go with the flow and try and take the pressure off BOTH of us! Thanks everyone!

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A.M.

answers from Providence on

It's ear infection or teething most likely. Look up ear infection signs in an infant, if she has several of them go to the pedi, if not, probably teething. She is 3 months old,she won't REALLY be in a solid bedtime till after a year old. Occasional teething, colds, ear infections, general fussiness and the excitement of a new skill (sitting, craling, walking) will keep her up randomly.

Good luck!

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M.C.

answers from Boston on

My little guy is the same age and he's still eating every 1-2 hours, we've never gone four, so it's not that weird. Probably a growth spurt. Could also be the start of early teething, I have heard. And this is very young for a routine! Don't worry about it.

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K.W.

answers from Burlington on

My 3 1/2 month old son is doing the same thing! I've also been thinking I didn't have enough milk, but then I express some and it is there. I've thought it was gassiness, and I have noticed that burping him more regularly seems to help a little. Also he was sleeping almost through the night and now I am feeding him every 2-3 hours. It must be a growth spurt. I don't have any advice, but just know you are not alone! The woman who said you will have a new baby every 2 weeks is right! Good luck.

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T.C.

answers from Boston on

I am having the same problems!! I think this is the time that they go through a growth spurt. My son is eating like crazy and he used to sleep all night and for the last couple of nights he has been waking up screaming at 3:30 for us to feed him. I really hope he settles back into a routine soon. Does any have any advice for us?? Thanks!!

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L.S.

answers from New London on

My son's bedtime at that age was 10:30 or 11 pm. He would take an evening nap, wake up for a while and then feed again and go back to sleep. This is normal, especially for a little baby who needs to eat every 3 to 4 hours. Eating every couple of hours is normal too during growth spurts and for comfort. Try rocking her and see if that helps. Could be gas, too. When my son had gas he would want to eat. She may be getting squirmy because she has a bubble in her stomach and needs to move around. Try rubbing her belly.

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J.C.

answers from Hartford on

After 3 months, you can try giving her single grain cereal. It's recommended, and maybe will help her feel more full. Never in a bottle though. It sounds like she just needs a little top off? It may help both issues.

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I.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi there. I have a question for you - did you add anything new to your diet that might be affecting how your milk tastes?
Otherwise switching sides is a good idea. I sometimes had to do that several times when BF'g - and for whatever reason it worked.
The best baby advice anyone ever gave me was - every 2 weeks you'll have a new baby. This is SO true.
So why she had suddenly changed her ways? You might not know, and by time you figure it out, she'll be onto a new stage that presents a new solution and a new problem.
She night just be a normal baby going through the typical nighttime fussiness.
Have you tried swaddling her? Try feeding her in the dark, and use some white noise.
Lastly, is she getting enough sleep during the day? Sometimes little ones get over tired by the end of the day and end up screaming and screaming.
Just know in about 2 weeks she'll be onto something else.
Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Providence on

Hey V.-
First I want to say that, in my opinion, 3 1/2 mo is to early to expect any sort of routine. At that age, I always found that, just as I thought I saw a pattern forming, the schedule changed. Secondly, I wouldn't be surprised if your little one is experiencing a growth spurt. That can lead to incessant nursing, disruptions in sleep and fussiness. Teething is another culprit for odd nursing/ sleep changes (one of my kids cut her first tooth as she started her 3rd month, so it's not to early). I think, given the intensity of nursing, the former is at play. You might notice that her clothing size changes pretty soon...

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P.R.

answers from Boston on

My daughter did that and the pedi said maybe reflux? He suggested we try zantac as an easy safe option and see what happens before we do loads of testing etc to see if it was soemthing else. Worked like a charm. Seems her belly was hurting, so she wanted to eat but it hurt. Once it stopped hurting ( an hour or so later) she wanted to eat again. Worth a call to the pedi.

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S.F.

answers from Boston on

One of my nurses told me that babies have growth spurts on the 3's and 6's - 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, etc. Perhaps your daughter is in the 3 month growth spurt which is why she is eating more frequently. My girls eating habits definitely changed during those growth spurts and it felt like non-stop feeding.

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L.M.

answers from Boston on

V.,

First the frequent feedings. Your daughter sounds like she is going thru a growth spurt. They say they last only 4 or 5 days but for my daughter is was at least a week of this at a time. What you are doing sounds fine and yes, it is exhausting but just know you are doing the very best thing for your daughter. However, if she continues to get fussy at the breast try burping her before putting her back on and if it still continues to happen ask your doctor if it could be acid reflux. It doesn't sound 100% like it is acid reflux but I've seen different babies react differently to the pain in their tummies.

As for the night time routine. I do something similar but start with a bath to get her calmed down and 'in the mode' for bed. After the pj's I read to her then nurse to bed. The one thing I wish I had done earlier then we did it was put our daughter to bed sleepy but not asleep. Maybe right now you should change things up so your daughter doesn't anticipate it being bedtime to get her in a better frame of mind and out of the whole screaming routine. Another thought is to swaddle her if you don't already. This settles the baby and if she is still upset bouncing on an exercise ball with her should do the trick. We still use the exercise ball now and my daughter is 10-1/2 months old. It gives them the swishing motion they had in the womb.

Hope this helps and good luck,
L. M

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S.W.

answers from Burlington on

My baby did this too and I found two things that would help - 1st I would try burping her and continuing on the same side, then I would try switching sides. Often the burping did the trick. I think this is when they start to eat a lot more, and she was just uncomfortable.

I recommend healthy sleep habits, happy child for a book on sleep. It could be that she needs to go down earlier, it could be that you need to help her get more regular naps. I know things really changed for us around sleep at 3 1/2 months too.

good luck! (mom to a 7 month old).

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