Stubborn Husband

This kind of infection can cause an infection to go to the brain. He needs a Dr. now. He can die from such a thing.

Yes, ditto Kimberly F. Having bad teeth can destroy his heart and if he is having jaw pain....Scary. so sorry.

I'm going to tell you something that is scary. Sorry up front, but I think that you need to hear.

Your husband is in a lot of danger of getting to the point that the infection is so bad that he would need to be put in the hospital for IV antibiotics, having a heart attack, or losing his eyesight. He's also possibly going to get hooked on pain killers. If he's taking a pain killer with acetametaphin, and taking too much, he could end up ruining his liver.

He is being terribly foolish by trying to medicate this away. I don't know what you have to resort to in order to get him to go to the dentist, but it had better be quick.

I'm so sorry.
Dawn

No need to be furious with him. We all know you care. Make certain your life insurance policy on him is current and updated and enough to bury him and take care of your family. Also make provisions for how the business will run without him. These types of infections near the brain can and does cause death as many here have mentioned.

It also may not be true that your only option is the ER. Try contacting some dentists in your area, you may find one willing to work with you. Also note there are some dental insurance plans out there that don't cost a fortune because they pool individuals into the plan. That may be worth checking out for the longer term.

My prayers go out to you. And seriously make certain the life insurance is ready to roll. His foolishness could cost him his life.

Your statement, "we don't have insurance, so the only thing he can really do is go to the ER and get some antibiotics", doesn't make sense to me, given the story.
ER visits are extremely expensive in the over all scheme of things versus paying for a dentist. That sounds like his not going to dentist is a money issue. In the long run, this will cost more for what he is doing to himself by not going to dentist. Find out if they will take payments.
Infections can be deadly, not only can it cause bone loss, he could get encephalitis (affecting the brain), sepsis, it can go to the heart and cause long term problems with infections to point of needing heart surgery, valve replacements, kidney disease, DISABILITY..........so if it is a financial worry, the ramifications of not treating dental issues, gum disease, etc., you all are looking at a much worse financial picture than a few trips to the dentist would cost. Just wait until one of these ER trips will be an "admission" to the hospital.
As a nurse, I have seen untreated and even dental treatments that have caused these issues.
Maybe there is a dental college in your area that can be less expensive, however those often take longer to get things done than going to dentist in first place. Besides, he may need oral surgery, root canal. His putting this off is putting your financial future in jeopardy, besides endangering his health further.
The complications, pain issues, drug use, weight loss due to malnutrion, which is going to over all affect his health, mentally and physically, are all red flags that are going to hit you financially if he continues to not be treated. Potentially he won't be able to work, then what are you (he) going to do? He shouldn't be messing around with this!

Please tell your husband that years ago a friend of my Ex's died from an infected tooth. Um, yes, literally died from the infection. It went into his blood stream. He died.

Your husband needs a dentist pronto. Dentist's can prescribe anitbiotics and pain medicine PLUS fix the tooth that is infected.

If he is unwilling to do this for you and your family, take the money you would spend on his health care and buy more life insurance on him. Let him know that you are doing that to protect yourself and your family when he dies.

Be brutal at this point. He is endangering his life.

Ditto Kimberely F.

Make sure his life insurance is paid up.

Also, dental insurance typically only pays 1/2 of the cost. Certainly you can afford a hundred dollars or so to go to the dentist to get an estimate of the cost of what needs to be done.

But in all seriousness - no eat, no survive.

Dawn is absolutely right, and an ongoing abscess in the root of a tooth can eat away at the bone. People underestimate the effect dental health has on the whole body. My father is an oral surgeon and I worked in his practice for years, where I saw a lot.

I can tell you that not taking care of a dental infection can and will cause all kinds of problems. The infection can spread to the sinus cavities and into the brain and cause major problems and death.

I had an infection from a root canal that had not drained properly and it took about six months with the dentist and antibiotics to get to the bottom of it. It even showed up on the Xray after it healed. In fact there was a small spot that had to be redrilled through all of the root canal in order for it to completely heal up. I had sinus issues where I wanted to rip out every tooth on that side of my head, I could not breath properly and I didn't want to do much of anything.

If you have to hit him in the head and drag him to the dentist's office do so. Make sure he is well insured in case he doesn't make it.

Good luck to you.

The other S.

Is dying an option for him? That's what I'd ask him and let him think about how it would affect your family. He's being ridiculous, and sorry, but stupid. Good luck!

I don't want to scare you but there was a news report of a 20 something year old that ignored tooth pain and ended up dying because he didn't have the insurance and didn't go to the dentist. I can't remember the exact details but it had to do with the infection. This isn't something to mess around with. Good luck.

ETA: Here's the link: Just google "dying from a tooth infection" and see what comes up. http://abcnews.go.com/Health/insurance-24-year-dies-tooth...

My Dad is like this - he is afraid of going to the doctor so he just will not go. Have a serious talk with him and tell him this is not an option...he HAS to go. He's an adult so what consequences can you give him, haha. Seriously, I have no idea how you MAKE an adult do something they do not want to do. Does he have a best guy friend or friends? Tell them to try to convince him...maybe they can be of help. Try to get his parents to convince him. Good luck.

honestly im sure he's in pain but with being on pain meds for a prolonged time he is most likely addicted to pain meds as well (this happens to most people not J. addictive personalities) which would be where the behaviour comes from, also the pain feels worse than it is when the pain meds no longer work and he devolps a tolerance....meaning he;s going from no pain to unbearable pain where if he wasnt on so many pain meds it would be a constant pain but one that he was used to. I think you need to get him to the dentist ASAP and then get him off the pain pills before it gets worse (pain pill wise)
thats J. my humble opinion
my source would be 5 family members who had legitimate diseases, and pains and are now or were hook on pain meds

I have actually said to my husband, I know your life insurance is paid up, if you die and leave me here alone, I am going to go on a trip to look for a replacement for you.

Our daughter commands him to go to the doctor and dentist, it is ridiculous.
She even told him she thinks he is ridiculous and does not show compassion to him when he acts like that.

The rule in our house is, if you will not go and get it fixed, no complaining or whining.

This is his health he is messing with. He is acting like a big baby. He is not setting a good example to his children.

I guess just ignore it.,make him sleep somewhere else since he is being rude interrupting your sleep. I would not say another word, I would feed him all cold foods. See how he handles that. just let him suffer, I have no idea how you get a grown person to do what they refuse to do.

My mom has spent 50+ years trying to get my dad to take vitamins, his cholesterol, high blood pressure meds, stop smoking etc and when he had a stroke fight to take him to the er. you CAN NOT force him to do something he doesn't want to. you have to let it go. you did all you could that's it.

Something he should be aware of is that overdosing on pain medication and taking pain medication for too long of a duration without actually fixing the underlying CAUSE of the pain can actually make the pain worse. Yes, that's right: pain medication can make pain WORSE instead of better. That's one reason why you're supposed to take it exactly as prescribed. Of course the other reason is the risk of addiction.

Please remember that extended pain issues can cause depression. Extended pain issues can affect our thought processes and decision making skills ie.) we make poor decisions when we're in pain if we're able to make decisions at all. Pain increases anxiety which increases the likelihood of a short temper and raises blood pressure. It affects relationships. It affects your ability to do normal, everyday tasks.

Whatever it takes to get your husband into treatment (for his mouth), no matter how much it costs financially at this point, he MUST get it taken care of. He could end up with some severe and long lasting problems if he doesn't take care of this now. He doesn't have the option of refusing any more. Who can you enlist for help in real life to get him to an appointment?

Just wanted to send you a HUG.

He's an adult. If he wants to suffer, let him. Don't sympathize - it gets you nowhere. Don't schedule any more appointments. When it becomes important to him, he'll do something.

But I will say that going to a dentist and having the darned thing pulled would be MUCH LESS EXPENSIVE than going back and forth to the ER for antibiotics. Also, that is not what ERs are for. They are for emergencies - this is not an emergency. This has been ongoing and it is just something he refuses to deal with. Not smart, because as you can see, it won't go away on it's own - it will only get worse. By the time he decides to go to the dentist, it will probably require more work and more money.

I know going to the DDS is not fun. I have had almost all of my teeth pulled - only have 10 real ones left. So I am more than familiar with the procedure, but I would definitely opt to have one hour of dental work than days and months of dental pain.

Your hubby will do something about it when it gets bad enough. The only question is how much it's going to cost for the additional work that could probably be avoided if he goes sooner rather than later.

Educate him. I have found that people who are that stubborn simply lack the knowledge they need to actually take care of themselves. Arm yourself and him with facts. Go on the internet and find everything that comes with bad teeth. Heart disease, cancer, etc.... and print it out for him to read. No need to fight, just say " honey, I love you and I can't watch you in all this pain, what you are choosing to do is very dangerous for your health and I don't want anything to happen to you, so I printed some information that I think you should know. Please let me make you the appointment." Kiss him on the cheek and leave him to read whatever you print out. He'll read it and it will be food for thought, and perhaps the facts will persuade him to do the right thing. If money is the issue, talk to the dentist and request a payment plan for all that he may need done. Remember, you get more flies with honey, than you do with vinegar. You can also remind your husband, that the dentist can knock him out while all the work gets done. Good luck!

He knows he should go, but does not want to. The pain hasn't gotten BAD enough for him yet! Unfortunately, your support is enabling him to keep doing what he's doing. There are so many people who are just like him -afraid of the dentist. The longer he waits he more it will likely cost, but being pain-free is so worth it. Good luck.