Do you think it is okay for a man to strike a woman for something other than self defense? Do you think it is okay for a woman to strike a man? What if the aggressor is smaller than the victim? Does that justify things? So what is it like in your house? Do you start swinging when you are angry? Does your spouse? Both of you?
Yes, another question has prompted me to ask this. Sometimes I feel like I am the only person who sees fault in hauling off and hitting another person, regardless of sex, for a reason other than self defense but perhaps I am naive about this and most people feel it is fine as long as the one doing the hitting is the smaller individual.
I am clearly not talking about "love taps" or playfully smacking someone's ass. I am talking about getting angry and hitting someone because they have made you mad. I think there is a problem with striking someone in anger whether they think they deserve it (how many abused individuals think that? A lot.), whether they remember it, whether it hurt them, etc. If my nephew hits me it probably isn't going to cause damage because he is 2 but that doesn't mean he should be allowed to hit me because he is mad at me. That is the basic premise here. I was just curious as to how others felt about it. I personally feel hitting out of anger clearly shows a major lack of control and that that lack of control is a problem.
At first I thought April C was yelling at me and I had to reread my question because I was certain I did not mention classes of people (why would I?). I must say I agree...this isn't a class issue.
I guess I just don't like double standards. If it isn't okay for a man to hit his wife in anger then it shouldn't be okay for a woman to hit her husband in anger.
Are we talking about spanking, or hitting out of anger? I can't think of one reason or scenario why hitting out of anger would ever be ok, regardless of sex or size. Spanking/discipline, that's another story. I absolutely have spanked my children, and will again!
I would never 'haul off and hit someone' unless i was in fear of being struck first or defending myself, family, friends or property. If someone WERE to hit another in anger or aggression, I would not think it as bad if the aggressor was a smaller individual.
Spanking a child for discipline I staunchly support and do not view it the same as striking someone.
No, no, no and no. We would never lay a hand on one another. Ever.
I've learned in my 63 years to make "general rules" or "rules of thumb." The only black-and-white rule I carry today is this one: There's no rule that can be reliably applied in every possible circumstance.
Generally, I don't think hitting is advisable or the best possible response to a situation, and it serves us well to investigate and learn better choices. Generally, I don't think spanking a child is the best possible means of teaching or correcting, though in the book Nuture Shock, actual studies have revealed that in cultures that accept spanking as the norm, children are apparently not emotionally harmed by it.
So, perhaps it also serves us well to have a bit of flex in our views. (Notice how carefully I phrased that?)
No.
No.
No.
No.
We don't hit.
No.
No.
No.
I'm with you.
No Yarrmatey, I'm with you. I've brought my kids up that it is NEVER EVER OK to injure another human being (LIVING BEING in fact).
There is ALWAYS a better way, ALWAYS!
:)
Unless it is in self-defense, or the person being hit enjoys it (There are people out there who enjoy getting a slap every now and then during sex)... Then my rule is, if you hit some one except to get hit back. If a woman hits a man, then that man has a right to hit the woman back. If a man hits a woman, then that woman has a right to hit the man back.
IMO, the only reason to strike another living thing is in self defense, or in defense of someone else. No matter how angry you are, there is no reason to hit - that includes hitting your spouse, spanking your child or kicking your dog.
There is a proper time and place for sparring - in a ring or in a tournament.
I am also in favor of self defense. If some one punches you you shouldn't have to just put up with it.
As a method for conflict resolution in a relationship? Never.
Never in our house!
I definitely agree that it is wrong to purposely cause harm to anyone unless you situation causes for self-defense. I don't believe that a man should hit a woman and I don't believe that a woman should hit a man. I believe all people deserve respect and just because you are angry, that respect shouldn't fly out the window. I know personally that I have a very bad temper and a very short fuse, but I would not lay hands on my husband nor anyone else for that matter unless I or someone else was under attack.
No, there is NEVER any reason to hit someone. No one in our family strikes any one else and I think it is terribly sad that this happens in some families.
i agree I saw the post where the lady hit her husband...and I thought wow, if that was the other way around the responses would have been very diferent.....it doesn;t matter who does the hitting its equally wrong...i never got the whole girls arent looked at badly because they dont do as muich damage theory...its not like the person doing the hitting is meaning for it not to hurt J. because they're smaller...i also don't believe if a woman hits a man or vice versa they should be able to be hit back...we teach our kids its wrong to hit back...don't we...although he/she should be able to potect themselves or restrain the person.....but hitting back is J. as immature
No it's not ok for anyone to hit anyone unless it's self defense.
I whole heartedly agree that if you hit someone, you better be able to take a hit. I did martial arts for a long time, so I don't see anything wrong with learning how to defend yourself. Even though a person may think that violence never solves anything, that doesn't mean the person who is standing there getting ready to wail on you thinks that way. The only time I have ever hit someone first is in a match, when someone has put their hands on me (such as grabbing my backend when I walked by), and once to help someone who was getting the tar beat out of them. I will say that one time, at a club, a guy hit a girl that was standing next to me. As he raised his hand to hit her again I reached out and grabbed his hand and gave him a good shove. He stumbled back a little, and stood there glaring at me as people started to watch us. But then the girl I had just put my neck on the line for got all pissy with my for "getting into her business". Sometimes I will never understand people. : /
You should'nt hit somebody first but if you are hit, then yep, hit back! That said, no body should hit somebody first no matter what size each other is. Especially if you are the smaller one hitting a bigger person, expect to get hit hard.
And to all of the women out there that think it is ok to hit a man just because you are smaller than them and are a woman, is nutty thinking. I love the women that think they can haul off and hit there husbands and then freak out on them when they grab their hands off of them and then they go even more balistic beacause he touched me!! Ya, after you hauled off and hit him first!
Ladies, if it's not ok for a man to hit you, then it certainly isn't ok to hit a man either!!
