Stretched to the Limit...

I hear you! I just started a new job, on top of all the mommy duties and trying to get organized for the holidays. I find that it helps to take 5 minutes to write down what I need to accomplish that day. Some days my list focuses more on work, while others focus more on housework/kids activities, etc. It really helps me to prioritize and remain focused on what is really important to me. Then at the end of the day I reward myself with a small chocolate if I got the most important items done off the list. :)

It seems like the holidays are what is causing the most stress...? Then why not "forget" them? Your 2 yr olds certainly won't know the difference. The older kids will appreciate a sane mom and family time way more than a toy that they'll forget in a week anyway. All of the pressure from the holidays comes either from internal pressure (I have to do it because it's tradition) or from some keeping up with the Jones' thing. It is absolutely not required to bake/decorate/buy a zillion gifts/attend 3 dozen events. Pick and choose the things that make you most happy and forget the rest!!

Hi S., Life is too short to waste it being unhappy. Don't wait until "help is offered to you". Schedule things for other people to do to help out! Whether it's taking the kids away from you for a break or someone bringing you dinner or someone cleaning the house or whatever. It also helps to do only what is most important. Cleaning the bathroom would be LAST on the list. No one is looking to see if your tub is spotless. Do the priorities first and everything else should fall into place. Just make sure that it's a REAL priority (kids should be #1). Welcome to motherhood, our plates are always full, but none of us are perfect. Just do the best you can and DELIGATE some things out! I wish you the best!

You are not alone! I feel like I used to be good at everything. I was a great employee. I was a great Mom (when I only had 2 kids). I was a great wife (when I didn't have such a short fuse). I was a good housekeeper and cook (before all the stress). I feel like I am average at best now on a good day. I don't know what the answer is other than I have accepted being average for now. The one thing I have done is I started running. I was running after the kids went to bed, but I have started to let my husband shoulder some of the child rearing. So, now I put dinner on the table and go out for a run. When I get home, the kids have been fed, bathed and have their pajamas on. WOW I never would have guessed my husband could do that! But he does happily because he knows how I need my run. Nothing has changed after a run, except for my attitude. The clothes still aren't folded, the dishes are piled up, the house is a mess, I have 10 things at work I never got to....but man, I do feel better after a run! I hope you find something that makes you feel good. God Bless!

I'd suggest that you make sure you get enough sleep, eat well and work on getting a routine set up for the kids/yourself (if you don't already). These things have been helpful for me - I have 6 kids under 8 the youngest are three month old twins.

I think we have all "been there" in some form or another.

Others have mentioned routines to help. I recommed the FlyLady. www.flylady.net
She suggets routines for cleaning (she calls them zones) and each month is a focus. Decembers focus in on pampering ourselves. Her great motto is "15 minutes at a time". With so many kids its easy to get stressed out and worry about what still needs to be cleaned etc that we often get frustrated easily and forget to enjoy being a parent.
Trust me, I understand that all too well.
I'm nowhere near perfect and still working on "flying" but baby steps make a difference.

When you start to feel your fuse running short, try to seek a quiet place (I know that's easier said then done in a house full of little ones) and just breathe and try to relax. I know with myself its often the little things that get my fuse fired up more than the bigger things. When I feel myself getting hot I try to step away from the situation and take a quick breather and then re-address. Am I perfect at it? Oh no but its in the trying.

Good luck to you and your family. I hope things work out for the best.

I'm right there with you...you're definately are not alone. I started working full-time a couple months ago and I'm not adjusting well. I'm actually working 2 part-time professional jobs and I feel as if I don't have enough time to do either job, take care of 2 kids, take care of a house and keep up with some other training I'm doing right now the way any of it should be done. Anyway, the website flylady.net has come great advice. Going to the gym and getting exercise helps too. Take 20 minutes and go for a walk. Have your boyfriend/friend/family take the kids to the zoo or the park so you can have some quiet time at home. Getting out is nice but having queit time at home so you can get things done is priceless when you have little kids running around. Sit back, take a deep breath and look at the big picture, maybe it's not as bad as you think. And take comfort in knowing, you're not alone...I can't keep up with the housework either. :-)

I understand some of what you are going thru. Somedays I feel I will never be caught up back on top. All I can say is breath and maybe squeeze some time in for yourself. Oh well if the bathroom needs cleaned or the living room isnt spotless your sanity is way more important. Plus in a house of 5 kids under 7 it wont stay clean long :)

What I do to help with the "for my own sanity" issue is this. It's out of the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook if you want more info.

Daily you need to take 1 hour for yourself. Even if it means staying up late or waking up early. Each week one half day for yourself-which can mean everyone doing something that you enjoy. All of these "for yourself"s can be done alone or with others, but it's what you enjoy-what you pick. Then each month a full day for yourself. And every 4 months or so a week for yourself. Again the for yourself can be alone or with anyone you want but doing what interests you.

It sounds impossible, but once you implement it...it's amazing what that small amount of time can do for your mind. Even just starting with 15 mins of noone bother me time a day. Don't think about what needs to be done or anything. Just be you. This whole plan has really not only helped me, but everyone around me as well.

i'm sorry you're going through this tough time in your life, and if it's comforting i've been there as well. time will pass and keep hanging in there.