Stressed Out Mommy Needs Advice.

What city do you live in. I am in Mckinney. Perhaps I can pick you up and we can be stressed together. LOL I could use a friend. I also have a 21/2 year old daughter and babysit part time.

First off, you probably need to know that all moms feels this way (stressed out, crying, etc.) even if they don't admit it. Face it, it's hard being a stay at home parent and being almost soley responsible for raising two other human beings. It's just plain hard...rewarding yes but also hard. I have had days like that too and sometimes, whole weeks. So, just know you are normal.

I have a 2 YO (three in November) and 11 month old boys. So, I can totally understand how you must feel. I would highly recommend putting your 2 YO in Mother's Day Out. I put my eldest at CCDC at First United Methodist Church in Lewisville (off main next to wal-mart). They are awesome and I don't ever worry about him while he's there. Believe it or not, just that little time (from 9-1) with just 1 kid (who hopefully is napping some during that time) really helps. Feel free to email me and I'll give more info about CCDC. It's $125 a month for 2 days a week.

Second, remember that it's hard. I know I keep saying that but I want you to know it and admit it. That doesn't mean you don't love your kiddos. See about finding an afternoon playgroup even. Afternoons seem to be the worse. My boys go to bed early (6 for the youngest and 7 for the oldest) so that helps to give me more time to decompress. But, from after the afternoon naps until Daddy gets home or about 6...it's not fun. So, I've found that taking a walk or going to the gym (I go to Health and Athletic in Parker Square) or just running around in teh backyard helps Do you have other kids in yoru neighborhood that you can invite over in the afternoons? Sometimes, it seems less stressful if my oldest has a friend over because they keep each other occupied and not whinny. :)

Email me if you want to talk or just need to vent. ____@____.com.

C.

Y.,
I think you need to start a routine of getting out of the house. The kids are probably as sick of it as you are....... you do not have to spend money to get out, but you do need to be familiar with your community and your options.

If you don't have a car in the day time, walk or find a bus to get you and the kids to the library for a few hours. Or to a community center. I don't know where you live but there are plenty of young child activities in Lewisville through the community center and they are inexpensive. Be creative. Try everything that's free or cheap within a 3 mile radius of your home. You can walk that far with a stroller.

Set a routine, Monday's go to McDonald's for ice cream, Tuesday's go to story time at the library, etc etc etc.

The sound of running water helped me when all mine would cry at once.... so take a shower or run the kitchen sink... the white noise is soothing.

Check out www.familyfun.com for some in-home activities.

Is there anyway to take your husband to work for the 6-3 shift and join a play group or something?? Maybe put your 2 1/2 year old in a Mother's Day Out program?? If I was stuck in the house all day w/ my boys (3 and 10 months) I would go insane. The only day we don't have anything planned is Mondays. The evening hours are very tough w/ two small children. I call them the Witching hours (between 4 and 7).
I usually bring out the night time toys that they haven't seen all day. They are new to them and entertain them until dinner and bed time. Since it is so nice outside, I would go to the park or something. Forget about dinner since the hubby isn't home to eat it. I would just eat something simple and easy.

Good luck! I hope you get a car soon.

Oh, on the weekends when your hubby is home, take some Mommy time to be by yourself. Get a pedicure, walk aroud the mall, have lunch w/ a friend, go to the movie, just do something to relax.

I see you have lots of advise.
I can relate totally !!!

I am a SAHM of 3 yr old boy, and a 1 1/2 yr old girl.
My husband works overnight from 10p-7a and 8a-5p.
So he only has about 3-4 hours at home to sleep and take a shower and go back to work.Although he has weekends off.

I have no family around so I never get a break.
In addition, we can't afford to make it just on his income
so I babysit as well. So, I have my 2 and 2-3 other kids during the week. It gives my kids someone to play with and learn with. They enjoy having them, but we usually don't get out either.

Its hard cause I have to get everything we need on the weekends. I was getting so stressed out too. It feels like
I am a only parent all week. Its hard to keep up.
I wish we could get out and go to the library we did that last summer he loved it.

Last yr we tried sending him to a Mothers Day out program which was 2 days a week. After 7 mo they asked me if he would talk. He would talk at home but not there. He got in trouble 1 day for something they didn't even see him do, and put him in time out in isolation 2 1/2 hrs for a 2 yr old. I neer heard of time out that long. I always heard like a minute for every age. When I found out I approached the director and she lied to me about it. The manager of Security told me and the workers. If you don't know then thats 1 thing but don't lie to the parents. I thought I could trust them it was at a church.
My trust was all gone. I love my kids so much so I had to
quit and stay home after that. We couldn't afford it but there safety was more important.

All I can say is going from 1 to 2was so much harder on me. I wonder if going from 2 to 3 will be easier?? My Son and Daughter are 21 months apart. I feel this time around was so much more trying on ALL of my nerves!!!

We have to get out of the house everyday..sometimes it's just a walk around the block...or to go to park and library. The good news is, after Grace was over a year..she was so much easier!! And Both kids were having fun interacting and playing/entertaining!!

I do save TV time/ DVDs videos for when the kids are tired and I need to get dinner going and I'm tired too! they can veg out and just relax.

Another idea is to have a friend or two over. Sometimes my house will be turned upside down..but it gives my kids time to play with others and I get to have some grown up time with another Mom~!

On stressful days..sometimes I fill up our CD player with just Kids music and that seems to help everyone's moods!!! We have lots of fun doing that!!!!

Oh, and on a really stressful day.(this might be when your 2nd one gets a bit older).if we are at home all day..just for the heck of it, I'll put them in the bath-tub. This is a long activity!!!!.and they LOVE playing bubbles, finger paints, letter ABC stickies on the wall, etc...that way I can sit in the bathroom with them, and just sit for a second- and not have to chase them around the house!!! Grace likes me to rub lotion all over her and rub her feet after she's out..She doesn't get that everyday!!!! Anyway it's a great way to help pass the fussy time of day-- sounds weird..but it sure has helped me countless times!!!

Good Luck!

I suggest you take up scrapbooking and find a friend that can scrapbook with you! It is fun and when you start looking at all of those photos of your sweet memories it might turn your sadness into happiness!

If you live in the Fort Worth area email me and we can get together! :) ____@____.com :)

Wow. I am in the same situation as you. Even today I am going crazy. I cry all the time and sometimes wish I was married to someone else. I feel better knowing someone else out there is stressed too. I feel like I am responsible for EVERYTHING. All he does is bring home the money. I don't have advice but I am going to read what other moms say.

N. B.
Mom Advice Central-http://www.mymommycentral.com

We all have bad days! Just tonight, my two kids were driving me crazy! The best advice I can give you is to make sure you take some time out for YOU! No kids, no hubby, just you! Do something you love, and occasionally go out with other women! It makes such a difference to have some Me-time!! And, it is so worth it to go out with other women and remember who you were before kids...sometimes it's easy to forget! Join a book club, or go wine tasting or start up a monthly game night with the other women in your neighborhood. You deserve it and you will be a better mom and wife for it, so don't feel guilty about taking some time out for you! Being a full-time mom is stressful, especially when your husband is gone so much of the time! Take advantage of it when he's home...even just going to the grocery store by yourself can feel like a huge treat! Make sure to tell him you understand that he needs a break on his days off, but so do you! And, you both deserve it! After a few hours of the kids by himself, he'll understand why you need the break!!!

Good luck!!!
S.

When I first moved to Texas, we only had one car, and I was stuck at home all day. This was BEFORE we had kids and I went a bit stir crazy. I started to drive my husband to work and pick him up 2 days a week. Being mobile really helped my sanity. If that is not an option for you, then try to find local bus service or treat yourself and the kids to a taxi ride once a month if you can. Or maybe a SAHM mom near you would be willing to car pool to the mall on Tuesdays or something.

Now that the weather has cooled down, is there somewhere local where you can get out of the house on foot? Is there a library close by? Most do a free storytime. McDonalds is handy because you can just buy a juice box or an ice cream and turn the little ones loose in playland. Or walk past the fire station or go to the grocery store. Come up with a routine that works for you, and remember it won't last forever.

Try if you can to coordinate naps (if the older one doesn't nap, require "rest time" in her room when the baby is down) to give yourself a break. My son stopped napping at 2, so I would put him in bed and tell him "you don't have to sleep, but you do need to lie quiet in your bed" He's allowed to get up for the potty, and if he stays quiet, I let him play a computer game when he is done. That's the only computer time my son gets, so he is quite good about staying in his room most days (and I have to be tough and not let him play when he doesn't). Use whatever incentive will work for your daughter. There are some fun free games for kids on nick jr, the wiggles, and thomas the tank engine websites.

I feel for you! You have the hardest job in the world, but also the most worthwhile. But to do any job well, you need a break from time to time. Maybe your husband could do 2 - 2.5 hrs on the weekend where he is with the kids and you can go out on your own or with a friend. He's worked all week too, so this might go over better if you offer to trade days so he can have an hour or two of free time, too. You mentioned your husband works 4 days a week. On his night at home, could you get out of the house after dinner or after bath time?

Is there a place to walk w/ the kids? Even around ablock? kind of let them get aired out a bit? While the weather is nice I like to walk a little after dinner-
Promise yourself somthing after the kids are in bed- a long bubble bath, reading a chapter of a good book, a TV show... something for your down time- then DO IT, let the dishes wait, the laundry can wait, just carve out a special time for you.
Play doh is a good time user- I let the kids play w/ it while I cook dinner so I can supervise.
Place a blanket over a table and call it a tent, they will have a blast.
Is there as way you could take hubby to work occassionally so you could get out?
Just kind of brain streaming......
All the best,
D.

I would highly recommend getting involved with an Early Childhood PTA. They have play groups, children outings, etc. They have great general meetings with good speakers (and childcare during the meeting so you can relax and get to know other moms!) Getting involved with The Colony Early Childhood PTA was a life-saver for me!

There are lots of different groups all through out the metroplex, and that most of the cities have their own, so you can meet moms who live right near you. Here are the websites of a few of the ones in the North Dallas area. (I live in The Colony, so I'm more familiar with the ones in Northern Dallas.)

The Colony : www.tcecpta.org

Lewisville: http://www.myschoolonline.com/site/0,1876,48580-116335-51...

Carrollton: http://www.cecpta.org/

Here is also a website I found of lots of different clubs/groups for moms and dads. I don't know anything about them, but I thought it looked interesting and I am going to look into some of them.

DFW Parent Support Groups & Resources:
http://www.kidsmetroplex.com/support.html

I hope that this info helps! And I agree with the other moms... every mom gets so stressed out. I'd recommend talking with your husband and see what kind of changes can be made. I had to do that with my hubby. He was working late, and spent a lot of time on the computer and a lot of time with his college buddies because to him it appeared that I was doing great and wasn't stressed or having any problems. He didn't realize how upset or resentful I was towards him. (Guys can be so clueless sometimes! Even when we think we are giving them the most obvious hints!) So after talking it out, we made some changes, and I get a weekly night out to run errands without my daughter, or go to the library and read, or do whatever I wanted by myself. Sometimes I don't need that time, but I do know that when I take that time, I come home much more relaxed! If your husband isn't able to do that, then maybe a relative or friend can, or even hire a babysitter to come and watch the kids so you get some time to relax!

I hope all this helps!

Wow. I have a girlfriend who lived through a very similar situation. She stayed at home with no car for 5 years and her husband worked long hours.

However, her mother lives fairly nearby and would come give her a break once a week so she could get groceries or run other errands.

In the evenings, I try to limit the amount of time I'm preparing dinner, and instead literally sit in the floor to play with the kids and it really seems to help them get over the cranky period. Granted, I don't do this all the time and frequently have these moments like you're describing, but when I pull myself together and think to do this, it's nice. I've also found that getting out of the house just before dinner time is good. We'll take a walk to the park around 4:00 and the dinner hour seems to go better.

On some days, though (like 3 times a week) when everyone is screaming (including me) I put them in their rooms for half an hour. They already have "rest time" in the mornings for up to an hour (even though they don't take morning naps, I still keep that time routine so I can get a break), but sometimes they need it again in the afternoons for a little bit. And it's not that I'm angry with them, I'm just frustrated that I can't accomplish a task (say, dinner) without a dozen interruptions, whining, crying, someone tugging at my pants leg whining "I'm hungry!"
I just tell them that Mommy needs some time to get things done and they need to play with their toys while I do it. When my son was as young as your baby, sometimes he just had to sit in his crib and cry for a while. I'd turn the baby monitor off until I was done with what I needed to do. Eventually, he would sit in his crib and play. I think I only had to put up with 3 days of crying.

Hang in there! Just remember that not every day is a bad one!

Hi Y.,

There are many free activities that you can find out about via the internet. Try your city's online web site (i.e. www.friscoonline.com), www.aroundtownkids, and the free paper- Inside Collin County Kids. Then you might want to plan your week from that point. Would it be possible to drive your husband to work and pick him up in the afternoon? True, it would take some adjusting to your schedule - but a nap and the feeling of freedom might sweeten the fact that you will need to pack up your kids in the early morning. It's O.K. to have an alternative schedule. As long as you have some sort of schedule. Many people in the restaurant business raise their kids with unique schedules - the key is they become regular and work for their family.

I admire your ability to reach out, and wish you much success and peace in your decision.

S.

Our household became much more peaceful and less stressed after reading just the first couple of chapters of the book, "Love and Logic for Early Childhood" by Jim Fay and Charles Fay. Give it a try; it is a light and funny read. It will help you feel more in control. The best way to order is on www.amazon.com. Most bookstores in the area sell out quickly.

M.