Stranger Safety/Child Abduction Question

Even though most child abduction cases are caused by close family or a relationship turned bad, there is no such thing as being too careful. Since your son is 22 months start talking to him about being in the company of a trustworthy caretaker like you, or your husband.
When strangers ask him personal questions like where he lives and other questions you think are inappropriate change the topic or distract him before he gives the answer. Believe me - it is not worth being polite to a stanger if you see his safety is being compromised. Go by instinct - in most cases it is right.
If it worries you so much, dont have a routine for outings. If today you went to the park at 10, take him there tomorrow at 9, before someone abducts a child they usually study their pattern.
I hope I was of some help.

Yes, I have worried about this too. Actually, now that I'm a mom, it seems I can imagine and worry about every conceivable tragic thing that could possibly happen to my kids, no matter remote the chance. It's a conscious decision I have to make to not be paranoid about it all.

My son is also very talkative and outgoing and will walk up to strangers and start conversations. When he was younger I made sure to always be a close and visible presence so I could steer him away from anyone who gave me a creepy feeling. I've had to give him more space as he grew, but I hope I've been training him well enough to be more cautious on his own.

One thing I do with both my children is talk regularly about "bad guys" and how they often pretend to be "good guys." (We see it happen in movies a lot.) I'm trying to make them aware that although strangers may seem nice, it's possible they are a "bad guy" in disguise, that it's not usually so, but we are carefull just in case. We also talk about variuos common scenarios and what to do (like the person who asks for help looking for a lost dog). I don't want to make them paranoid either, so we don't talk about it constantly, but occasionally, and I hope the repetition will sink in.

One thing that has helped me control my worry is my faith. I'm a Christian, so for me it is an exercise in trusting God, since He is the one in control ultimately. Whenever I start worrying, I can pray instead and that helps me settle my mind. I really liked the book "The Power of a Praying Parent" by Stormie Omartian. It helped me put things in perspective.

All the best to you and your family.

You have gotten a lot of very good advice. I was reading for my own info. because I have a son who is almost 3.

I was also thinking about the scary situation of a child becoming lost on accident and how it seems like they should know their own full name and their parents names too as soon as they are old enough. My son has said his whole name a few times, but I don't think he has practiced it enough to say it if he was scared. He knows mine and my husband's first names, but I don't think we have ever mentioned that we all have the same last name. It is just something to think about.

Also, trusting your gut feeling is so important. I have learned time and time again that I should go with my first impression when it comes to people. I do not try and make-up some reason why I am uncomfortable, I just go with the "flee" instinct. I think it is important to let our children know that sometimes this is why we leave a situation with a stranger so that they learn to trust thier "gut" too.

Just watch your kid like a hawk. I'm paranoid about stranger dangers too, and my 15 year old daughter told me a couple of days ago I'm going to have to get used to it and start letting go. No good answers, really. I envy those people that trust the world. It's so hard!

Molly,
My daughter is 15, and for some reason little kids that age just love her. We went to several places last month, and each time there was a child in front of us at check out. The little kids just wanted to smile and play with her. But, truth be told, I was wondering what their moms were thinking. I was concerned that they thought we would try to take their child.

Yes, I worry a lot, we live in a safe part of town, but the last two years there has been reports of a van following kids home, I did not believe it until it happened to our daughter, and they followed her almost all of the way, thank god she had her cell phone, and stayed on the phone with her dad the whole time, and he had the police on the office phone with him as well. Scared the crud out of us so bad that she is no longer allowed to walk home at all. Especially after I found out that van had followed two other neighbor children as well. I actually flipped out when there was a van in front of my sons school last week that had no plates, I ran to the office and they called the police, who showed up just as school was ending, and showed officers that they had papers for the van, and had just bought it.

SO, yes we are constantly on the look out, and not only do I watch for my own children even as teenagers, but I also watch for toddlers, and I am fully prepared to defend any child that I think is in danger, even if it is not my own.
I have worked for two companies that have code adam enforcement. We are assigned doors to block, and watch.
And no child is allowed to leave if they are remotely close to the childrens size and age.

W.

Hi Molly , I really know your fears as I felt the same with my first daughter. One thing no one ever told me was how much little babies and children bring people together. We all seem to enjoy them so much and I was really surprised how total strangers would come and talk and ask questions and want to touch my little one. I even had a older lady on a plane practicaly rip my baby girl out of my arms because she wanted to hold her. This really freaked me out.Not that she could be abducted on a plane just that someone would be so bold. Being a preschool teacher and having spent many other years working with children I was not naive to stranger danger. My daughter grew into an engageing toddler who was happy to go with anyone and I knew I had a job to watch out for her. I have found over my 11 years of parenting great joy in watching my children interact with other people and I am touched and appreciate when someone takes time to enjoy them in our busy world. My kids have gained alot from it . I have taught them that bad strangers are like bad weather. For the most part people you meet are just nice people. I can't remember at what age I started talking about specifics as to what makes a person a bad stranger but I am guessing it was around 4. Just things like a nice stranger would never ask you to leave your family, or ask you to help them look for their animal. That was my big concern because my daughter loved animals and helping so I was really careful to teach her about that ploy. So we would talk about different senarios (sorry about the sp) and as my kids got older we'd roll play so that if it ever came up they could be more sure of themselves and I felt better knowing we'd practice. And then at about 6 or 7 years old when they started going to houses with out me we also started talking about inappropiate touching between any aged person. Yes even other kids you have to becareful of. So we've talked about this being something no one should ever ask you to do or do to you. I am pleased with how it has gone so far because I didn't want children who were afraid of people but that were wise and discerning. You have all the early years that you are with them 24 -7 and when a stranger makes you uncomfortable listen to your gut and remove yourself and child from the situation. And I have found these times to truley be like bad weather. Not very often but you get a funny feeling when you see it and don't take any chances. But for the most part enjoy interaction with people ,it's one of the special things about children. I've met and made friendships with wonderful people all because of my children.My children have friendships that span all ages, they are involved in the community . Children are such a blessing to us all. People can't help enjoying them and I apprecaite that. I know one day parent hood will be a distant memory and the feeling of a cuddle of a little baby all but forgotten. I hope this all helps, Blessings to you, R.