Stranger Danger

Hi A.. Against alot of people's ideas, I did just that. Tested my daughter. EVery year with my girl scout troops I would hold stranger danger "classes", talk to my daughter etc. Well, I got to thinking, that as well as I have taught my daughter, what if?? My daughter is constantly amazed at who I know, who knows me etc. So I put it to the test. I had someone she never seen before, didnt know, didnt know they knew me, drive by the house when she was out playing and say they lost their dog, would she jump in the car and help them look for it and it would be ok because they knew her mommy and they would reward her with icecream and the whole "9 yards" and much to my dismay...my daughter thought it was ok and was going to do it. When we talked about everything, she said she remembered the "stranger danger classes", but this guy said he knew ME and he said it would be ok, so she thought it was ok then.

I was mortified to say the least. But it was also a wake up call that I needed to do a better job of teaching my child that just because they say they know me, doesnt mean they do. We even talked about consequences if this was an actual event and not staged.

Go with your gut. If you are not comfortable with your child saying no, then try staging something. My daughter was 7.5(now 8.5)when I did this and I plan to do it again now that school is in session. 99% of the time I walk down to the busstop and pick her up, but one of these days I wont and will have another friend "try" and get her to go with them, while I sit at the corner in my car and watch.(she's much too excited when she gets off the bus to even realize if my car is sitting there)..This time I will have my friend say your mom was hurt or something and I need to take you to her and see what she does.

Everyone can condemn me, as people have for doing this, but at least I personally can sleep a little better at night, knowing I have done the best I could at relaying stranger danger to my daughter. Agreed, it is a different day and age and we all need to be on guard at all times. I am not about to just sit back and assume my daughter knows what to do. I am also thinking about this time having a friend, actually get out of the car and try to put her in the car and she if she kicks and screams and bites like she is supposed to.(of course my friend will wait to do all this until the other children are gone from the bus stop, and I will make all the parents aware of what is going on, just in case).

Best of luck..Just by thinking about this subject I can tell you are a wonderful thoughtful caring mommy!!!!!

K.
www.arkparties.com

(ps. I guess I should also say, that because I was abducted at Ford City Mall when I was 6, however they never actually got me out of the mall, this is something very close to my heart and I need to make certain I have done all I can to ensure the safety of my child)

How scary! I am a grandma now but if I were you, I would go to the library or amazon.com and look for a book that you and your child could read together. There are authors out there who know how to write stories for children who treat the subject sensitively and open up the oonversation between you and your child. They will give ideas about what to do and what not to do. You may even ask at the school library or your child's teacher what books she has in her classroom. FYI amazon.com has wonderful used books.
Here's a web site I found http://www.mcgruff.org/Advice/stranger_danger.php?gclid=C....
One great thing-there's lots of help available. Good Luck and God Bless

We had the same letter last year in the Boulder Hill area. They had described a red truck in the letter. I just told my kids to not talk to anyone that might pull up next to them in a red truck, unless they are family that they know. Then I went a little further and said not to tal to any strangers, that their are some bad people out there. It lead into a pretty good discussion for us.

I don't think it was that different when we were kids. I'm in my 30's and I remember having letters like that sent home from school. I have always told my children never to speak to a stranger unless I am present. That adults NEVER need help from children. A good adult would never ask a child for directions, to find a lost dog, or offer candy. That bad people may look very nice, like Moms, Dads, Gradma's and Gradpa's. I make sure they know that I would never send anyone other than a family member or close friend to pick them up. You cannot tell if they are a good or bad person by how they look. As far as "testing" your child I don't know how you would go about that especially at your son's age.

A.,

Personally I don't think these times are that different than when we were kids. The difference is, though, that with 24/7 news on countless channels and other continual updates, you hear about more crime and you hear about regional crime, not just your neighborhood or state. If you actually look at the stats, crime has gone down since we were kids. So, personally I think we need to be cautious but not so darn afraid.

Strangers are a concept that kids have trouble with for everyone. I took a different approach that my mom helped me with, as I had a few times in my childhood where strangers tried to pick me up.

The primary reason is that kids often think that a stranger is someone who looks scary. I have spent time teaching my son that anyone who you don't know are strangers including kids. My mom suggests a password that your kid must ask for so they can know when that the person was really sent by you or their dad to pick them up. I am wary of this since my son is a huge blabber mouth, but know it is one of the best ways to keep my son safe.

Don't delude yourself that the past was safer. It was just as dangerous or even worse since no one spoke of the dangers openly. Today we have things so we know whose house to avoid, etc. We have Amber Alert to help rescue kids within the crucial time period after being taken.

I agree with the other mom suggestion of testing your child to keep them safe. Another tactic a person would use to take a child sometimes is another child to lure them away. Teaching that your kid cannot go with anyone whether kid or adult without your permission. Adults are only okay if they have the correct password.

That what happened did happen is extremely scary. However, you have a chance to review this information with your children which is important.