Stopping Ttc (#3) - Melrose,MA

J.-
what a perfect question for where I am right now. TTC for two years and a miscarriage in Feb 11 to show for it. I am going back to school and at this point am quite ambelivent about it. Not that we are doing anything to prevent it. This August I think I will get an iud put back in and say well we have miracles enough. Between now and then whatever happens happens. I'm 41 and really dont want to have a baby at 45. I am trying to start a nursing program in the fall and really don't see how a baby will work doing those 2 years. Slowly peace is coming.

I agree with Cheryl O.

I have never been in the situation that you are in, but have had a few friends that have been and 98% of the time once they stopped ttc it just happened.

As Cheryl said, go back to having sex for fun and see what happens.

My daughter's big (half) sister is 17 years older than her. They are great together!

I had two early miscarriages, was 40, and had called my doctor to get a BC pill prescription when I became pregnant with my daughter. I knew right away this one was going to work!

I wouldn't worry about the age difference at all. My kids are 4 1/2 and 11 and we are trying for #3 right now. We aren't pushing it though. We went through that with with our last one and it took us a year of trying for her before we gave up. After we stopped trying, we were pregnant the next month! I've had two miscarriages since her and so if it happens, it happens. If not, I'm proud to be a mama of two! :) Do what you feel is right for your family.

Maybe just go the route of not trying but not preventing either. Then you don't have the stress of counting days, temping, waiting out the two weeks and so on. I know, though, once you're in the ttc mode it's hard to not pay attention to the calendar and all that's involved. I've always thought it'll happen when it's meant to. We're kinda in limbo too (long story here as well) and haven't exactly been trying but kinda preventing and we still have all the baby gear from our last. My clock is ticking though. Anyway, I wouldn't worry too much about the age gap and not sure of your age as that may be something to consider too. Sorry I probably wasn't much help. I know what you mean, though, about being happy for the great kids you have. I figure either way it happens we'll be OK, you know? I would just be open to it but not stress about it.

Go ahead and be ambivalent. Put it out of your mind. Go about your day.
And live. And I bet you will get pregnant.

We have never had to go the specialty route but we don't have the easiest time getting pregnant. At least when we were trying. ;)
Took a year for DD. Two and a half (w/ a loss in there too) for DS. And #3? We were not even trying. DS is not yet 2! We were definitely not trying!
I conceived my first 2 when I finally let go (of trying to be in control of a uncontrollable situation). Almost immediately after I let go, actually.

As far as the ages...I urge you to let go of that too. There are 4.5 years between my first two. Until the moment I knew I was pregnant w/ my DS, I agonized over it. (I wanted no more than 3 years between, originally.)
I based everything on my own experience as a child and studied other families and was sure I had found the perfect spacing.
I was so silly. I think after the birth of my first I developed PP-OCD. :(

There will be almost 7 years between my DD and her new little sister. A tiny piece of me wishes they could be closer, but I know that even if the distance were even greater it would be ok.

Anyhow...I hope you can find the strength to let it go, give it to God and be at peace.

My second and third are 6 years apart and not due to not being able to conceive. It is like two families in some ways but still not a big deal. I know so many people who try and try and then forget it and get pregnant so if it was me I would just go about life and if it happens it does and if not it doesn't. It would take some of the stress off for you and you could enjoy the two you have more.