Stopping Rocking guilt...need Some Other Sleep Opinions

I agree with Julie. M., your toddler can climb into his toddler bed all on his own. He really doesn't need to you to "drop him" into the bed, either... he is old enough to easily climb right in. You will need to adjust his bedtime routine, yes. But that is to be expecting with a growing boy. :)
If you want to sit in the rocker and read him a bedtime story, then tell him it's time to get into bed.. he can climb down off your lap and then into the bed and you can tuck him in. Surely you can bend (or get down to your knees) enough to tuck him/kiss him goodnight.

For whatever it is worth, I didn't have near the problems I have heard so many mention regarding getting their toddlers to stay in their bed at night. What was my secret? The best I can guess is that I didn't use a toddler bed, but a regular twin bed, and I had those bed rails that ran the length of the bed (and folded down and up). He would climb up the foot end of the bed, get in the covers, and I'd tuck him, etc. The rail would go up, and he was snug and secure. Same thing with our daughter. Something about the bed rail, I think, helped them know that they needed to stay in bed (very similar to their crib too). Even though they could easily get out of bed if they wanted, they didn't seem to feel the desire to get up.
hth

I would return him to his bed. I sat in my DD's doorway for a set time (like 5 minutes) then closed the door.

You're okay. I think the hormones are messing with you and it's hard to see your baby grow up. But he's almost 2 and it will be okay. I'd start a new routine. Maybe do a special book and get him a new teddy bear for bedtime. Do you sing? My DD likes to hear "This Old Man" before bed. Do something to make you both feel better with the night routine.

You're not rushing his babyhood. You're just meeting new needs in the family.

I hate to put it this bluntly, but a 20 month old is not a baby: he is a toddler, soon to be preschooler. I think you are a bit hormonal, and I think you deep down know that you need to start letting your current baby grow up because soon you will be way too busy with a newborn.

Let go of the guilt. If you don't, you will feel even worse when there is a newborn in the house. You won't have time to rock your toddler then, you will have a baby to rock. You've entered the last nesting stage, and I think you feel deep down that it is time to prepare the current nest for the new addition.

Good Luck!

Let go of the guilt. I hear where you're coming from but with the new baby due in two months i don't see that you have a choice. Your son IS being replaced as the baby, and actually he had a longer run than some of my siblings, 11 and 13 months. In bed with you isn't an option unless you can and will do that with him, your hubby and the new baby in a couple of months.

Have you tried putting his mattress on the floor? Sometimes they will stay in better that way. Your goal should be for him to get to sleep on his own as you more than likely will have your hands full with the new baby. Establish a bedtime routine, if you haven't already, of a bath, rubdown with nighttime lotion, pj's, teeth brushing, story, maybe a quiet song (mine gets too riled up) lights out, and leave the room. Close the door, (cover the door nobs with covers so he can't get out) and if he gets out of bed and falls asleep on the floor at least he will be asleep. He needs to learn how to sooth himself to sleep. I'm not saying to let him scream half the night, but let him fuss, cry, squirm 5 minutes or so, then go in, don't turn on the lights, don't pick him up (that ends it all) just tuck him back in bed very matter-of-factly, tell him you love him and leave the room. Then wait 10 minutes, if he is still crying go back in and repeat. Extend it 5 minutes each time, the repetitious way you handle him will show him it's time to sleep and that you're not backing down. Also, you may want to start transitioning him to his bed for naps or you may be dealing with him and the new baby in your bed in the afternoon in 2 months, unless you are cool with that.

He's going to be fine, M., let go of the guilt, and congrats on your growing family : )

I can't help with the 'staying in bed' part as my 2 1/2 year old is still in her crib. (She's small for her age and doesn't try to climb out!) But when I was pregnant with our 2nd, he was laying on my spine and it hurt to walk - like I was getting stabbed with every step. I'd been rocking my DD to sleep until I physically couldn't carry her anymore. After that I'd lay with her on the couch or a mattress on the floor until she fell asleep and hubby would carry her to bed. We just told her mommy's back hurt and I couldn't carry her anymore. Once DS arrived and I had somewhat recovered, we're back to rocking her to sleep most nights. If I'm home alone at bedtime, I rock the 4 month old, put him down and then rock DD. It takes more time, but you can get back to rocking him if you want in a few months.

I understand how you feel. I'd put him in his bed though. Maybe you can rock him for half the time and wean him from that.