Stop Smoking in My House!!

Let them know the consequences for smoking in the house. It's not just you who will be losing a place to live but them as well. I had this problem. My Mother doesn't believe in second hand smoke and everyone in my house smoked except for me. She said that if I didn't want to deal with the smoke then I could go outside. Since moving out of my parent's house it's a rule no smoking in the house.

If you rented first and then brought them in then you could tell them the new rule. No smoking in the house.

HOpe this helps.

Cami
Great Falls, Montana

M.,
I am glad that you got them to start smoking outside! That is so important! About the stale smoke - I don't know where you are located, but my husband ownes a buisness that is able to get the smoking smell out through an amazing process that actually cleans the air. If you would like to learn more or would like to try it - I will get you a great deal!! - assuming you are close to me.
Just e-mail me and I will give you more information!
-J.
____@____.com

I wouldn't worry about keeping any friends on this one. There are points in your life that you HAVE to look out for the health and well-being of yourself, and especially your children (after all, they have no voice yet).

Please take no offense to this, but I would buck up, and start putting my fist down. I can't believe you've put up with it this long. Not to mention your husband! You both really need to handle this together, as one, and fully support eachother.

Come up with a quick plan, and follow through with it together. I would seriously consider moving too. But you can't live in that environment, nor should you feel you have to. If money is that tight, start filling out some kind of governmental aid. Just please, don't jeoapardize your health and your babies to save a buck or two.

Good luck to you! Please let us know what happened!

don't risk this one--your radar is going off for a reason. not only does smoking increase sids but also asthma and immunity to every other disease. you need to toe the line on this one--either they smoke outside or you start looking for new roommates. if they don't understand, then they aren't really your friends because smoking is the ABSOLUTE WORST thing you could do around a newborn. tell them now so you can give them time to find a place and you can find some new roommates if necessary. sorry to be blunt but this isn't something you mess with. your newborn's brain and lungs will still be developing for 3 years after birth, and basically second hand smoke is poisonous to that development. good luck and hang in there...this is a toughie.

Please don't take this wrong...
Girl, you need to get a backbone, and lay down the law!!! Stop being scared and tell them if they don't quit, they got to go. That's all there is to it. Not only is second hand smoke not healthy for your baby, it's equally unhealty for you. They obviously don't respect you, or they wouldn't be doing it now. If your fiance' is unwilling to tell his sister what's what, you need to. And if by chance they get mad, and do move out, you will be okay. James may have to pick up some extra work for a while, or you can go to your state agency to see if you qualify for some type of assistance. When I went on materinity leave with my 2nd son, I didn't have money either, so I got temporary aide from the state (T.A.N.F.). You MUST make them quit before that baby is born. You have to stand up for the baby even if you won't stand up for yourself. If you are still timid about doing this, just tell them the Manager found out, and gave you a warning that if they don't quit you'll all be kicked out. Do whatever you have to. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but you really need to stand up for yourself.

First off, congratulations on the new baby and engagement. I totally understand how you feel on the smoking thing. My roommate smokes in the house as well. I dont pay rent though so I have no say so in anything. Tell them if they have any heart at all that they will respect you and your soon new baby and go outside and smoke. Tell them that it is your babys life and they are risking it by smoking in the house. What are they gonna do when the baby comes? Blow smoke in an innocent little humans face. That child has no choice whether to smoke. Its your babys life. And if they dont quit, I know making ends meet is hard but everything works out. Kick there butts out. Its better to hurt their feelings a bit and have a healthy child than to let that baby suffer for their comfort. No one is worth the life of your kid.

M., That is your fiance's job to tell them to smoke outside, but if he is anything like my husband he won't do it. My brother in law and his wife lived with us for 10 months and my husband and I would have arguments over telling them to help out and PAY their portion of the long distance phone bill. But when he didn't do it, I did. I figure since I go to work everyday, I deserve every bit of the respect and so do you. My husband smokes and I make him go outside, not in the garage, but outside. He was smoking in the garage, however the smell of the smoke was coming in through the steps and it was disgusting. I have been told by the doctors that smoke on the clothes, hands, and mouth is equally dangerous for children. I make my husband wash his hands after smoking and before touching the baby. He feels it is a hassle, but I make him anyway. So if I sound kind of bitchy aobut it, I am, and for the sake of your baby, you should be too. It seems to be the only way to get that particular point across. They can still smoke - but outside.

M.,
It is VERY important that you do whatever it takes to rid your house of the toxic second-hand smoke NOW!! Don't wait until your baby is born, because it will already be too late. My father smoked while my mom was pregnant with me and I have many health issues that are attributed to second hand smoke. I was also a very sick child and it was caused by my dad smoking in the house. It doesn;t matter if they smoke in a different room than you or your baby are in, smoke stays in wallpaper, curtains, sheetrock, insulation, etc. Please get rid of the smokers before it affects your baby!

I think that in this case it should be him that talks to his sister about smoking. She would probably take it less offensivly. No one wants to be told what to do expectially when they are an adult. Maybe coming at it in a different approach will work. Telling someone they have to quit smoking may only make them want to do the opposite. Tell them you dont care that they smoke but dont want it in your house. Come to a compramise to smoke outside only, or maybe even the bathroom with the fan on (its better then nothing). I think it might be your approach that makes a difference. Think of how you would want to be talked to by her.

If asking hasn't helped you might have to give them an altumatum. Tell them they eather start to smoke outside or you are going to have to find another roomate. I don't think that you putting yours and your childs health first is being a witch. Tell them the truth that if they care and don't want you to lose your house that they will respect your wishes.

The ones that are paying rent. I bet they have a good deal and could not find another place to live at that price. And I'm thinking they can't afford to pay more or they would be living somewhere else.

As one of the women said, put your foot down. Insist that your boyfriend deal with it. It's his sister.

Is there somewhere else that you could live? If so move there until the smoking stops.

it seems like you have talked to them about it, and they disregard your wishes. second hand smoke is harmful even for your baby as you are pregnant!! not to mention how yucky it makes the clothes and furniture smell. and that your landlord would be furious and possibly kick you out! has your husband talked to his sister about it directly? if not, if i were you i would ask them to leave. i know it seems horrible, but you actually can find other housemates who are respectful of your space.

well if you have enough respect to not kick your soon to be sister-in-laws rude behind out she should respect you! studies show that even a smoker inthe same room as a baby can help cause SIDS. Give her panphlets on what smoking does to babies, or just find another room mate. whats more important, the healthy of your child your a rude soon to be family member?

The harm has already started. The second you breathe that second-hand smoke in, it goes through the umbilical cord and placenta straight to your baby. If they don't understand that, especially your future sister-in-law because this is her nephew, then their butts need out. You shouldn't even have to ask them to stop smoking INSIDE.... they should have the common courtesy to stop anyway. I mean, it's not like you're asking them to quit smoking period. You just don't want it in your house. The bottom line is, they have no respect for themselves obviously because they're smoking, so what makes you think they have respect for anyone else. I've said this to others before and now I say it to you. Smokers are the most selfish people in this world. Just because it's their habit doesn't mean everybody else has to suffer for it. Come on! They probably think, "Well, I can't smoke in restaurants anymore, now I can't smoke in my house?!" You've probably heard that and if you haven't I'm sure they're thinking it. Flat out, you're not a witch. YOU ARE A MOTHER- MOTHERS HAVE TO BE FIRM. THINK OF IT LIKE THIS. TREAT THEM LIKE YOUR KID AND CONSIDER IT PRACTICE. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN. If your fiance can't deal with his sister, then that's probably a whole other issue b/c he isn't respecting you or your guy's baby. Good Luck with it all and if you need me to come over and take care of it for you, I will. By the way, congratulations on expecting in February. I'm a Februarian. I know you are going to be a GREAT mother.

Make them stop or kick them out. You are not being a witch, you're doing what's right for your baby.

I completly agree with Andrea's advice and the others too. Second hand smoke even if they are outside and it blows back in the open door is really bad for you and your baby . For anyone for that matter. That is why it is being outlawed all over the world now. Wow, they need to move out so they can do their own selfish single thing.Baby first, others second or third . In their case, putting you in danger of being tossed out while expecting, is so disrespectful and selfish for sure. You should boot their butts out ASAP and then advertise for NON SMOKING roomies ASAP. Money is secondary to your babies and your health and lives right? You can do this. You go girl!

As a former landlord, when I say no smoking in my property, I mean it. If I was to have found out our tenants (or their guests) were smoking in the house, I would evict them. Odds are your landlord feels the same way.

I think it is ridiculous that your roomates aren't respecting your wishes. You don't need "help" like they're offering. I would give them an ultimatum. Either they quit smoking inside, or they leave. Period. Your health, your fiance's health, and your baby's health is on the line. Your home is on the line too, since you would be in deep trouble if your landlord found out.

I wouldn't worry about seeming like a witch. They are blatantly breaking the lease and endangering your baby's health. Trust me, they're the bad guys in this!

If worse comes to worse, move to a cheaper place when the baby comes. But don't let your roomates smoke another cigarette in that house!

You know my husband used to smoke only in the bathroom and then I threatened to stop kissing him, if he didnt quit smoking in thebathroom. I know that that is not as bad. My parents smoked in the house my whole 9 months with my first child and they after the baby was born they did go outside. I mean I told my parents that I wouldnt come home if they would smoke outside. I am not sure what to say on that one with them helping with fnances and all. I guess you just have to bite the bullet on this one and tell them to smoke outside or you will call the landlord.

I am utterly uphauled by these people!!! I cannot believe they would disrespect you and your family like this.
I am with the other lady on this one, if they don't care about you enough to quit smoking for the safety of your child, then they do not need your help in a place to stay.
First thing, your fiance and yourself need to sit them down, tell them that it is your house, you want them there but they have got to show some respect to this new baby. In fact, it's a shame you've had to live like this already. Baby's can be born with severe respiratory problems from YOU living with it. Secondhand smoke is MUCH more dangerous than you could imagine.
Tell them this is the last time this discussion will take place.
You can tell if they've smoked. If they do after that discussion, they need to go. Guess what, it's you that parents this child the rest of your life, through good health and bad, not them.
Go online and look at pictures of newborns that have had to live through secondhand smoke while in utero. Do some online checking about what actually happens to them while you're pregnant with them. Print out some pages and give it to them. This isn't just you being a "witch" this is you wanting your child to be healthy!!
I get a little passionate about this because I've been through loved ones dying due to cigarette smoke and it just bugs me that people have no respect for one another.
One more thing, if you need a roommate that bad, I'm sure there's PLENTY of people that you could get as a roommate. They'd probably be better roommates than these people.
Good luck and God Bless you all.
T.

listen to your instincts.. This is very important. Smoke will make your baby sick. As a child I had serious lung issues because my dad would not stop smoking in the house( even if it was just in his bedroom) This is not fair to the baby. there are resources to help if you can't pay. Take it from someone who suffered for many years it is NOT worth it.

Kick them out. Don't worry about hurting feelings or making them angry. They have already violated terms of the lease. They do not have any room to endanger your baby, even if they don't understand the risks your main responsibility is to protect your little one, if the smoking is bothering and worrying you, trust your instinct and try and resolve the problem, even if it means they have to leave. Family sometime pushed harder then aquantances, but just because they are family doesn't mean they can get away with causing you pain or worry. Good luck, I know you will make the right decission for your growing family and its needs.

Tell them that their only option is to smoke outside. They are being disrespectful and horrible people with no regard for your wishes, the rules or your health or the babies. You shouldn't be breathing the smoke now! If they can't abide by the rules and be respectful kick them out. You will find a way to make things work and your environment will be better if they are GONE! Your fiance needs to step up to the plate and tell his sister either quit smoking in the house or get out! Shame on him for leaving it all up to you. And if you are perceived as a witch for trying to take care of your health and your baby's health then that's fine. That baby is your number 1 priority in life from the day you found out you were pregnant...........and it should be your fiance's too!

Hi M., 1 thing you can do is see if in your rental agreement it says in there that no smoking is allowed and give them copies. your fiance should step up to the plate and tell them no more smoking allowed in the house due to the baby coming. so you are not the only one saying something and it shows that he is backing you just keep telling them when they get ready to light up just speak up and say could you please take that out side. i would not worry about getting the money i would be more worried about my child. it is not good for you to be inhaling the smoke now even being pregnant its like you are smoking. it can cause low birth weight , lung problems ect. you should talk to your doctor about how you can get maternity pay they know even if its through your state, if you guys cant afford to keep the rent going maybe look into something cheaper and smaller just for the 3 of you then work your way back up to what you would really like but think of that baby not your house guests feelings obviously they dont care about yours and the baby. i wish you luck

I would tell them, point blank... they are endangering your unborn child, as well as violating the lease.

or... tell them that your landlord contacted you about complaints about the smoke and if they find out anyone has been smoking, you will all be evicted.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME! Who's name is on the lease? Ok then What you say GOES!!! AND SMOKING WILL STOP! You sit theirs 'butts' down and tell then you've asked nicely and now you're not playing their game! They stop smoking inside or EVERYBODY will be finding a new place to live. Not just them. Don't worry about the financial help from them obviously they could careless what you say. There are always places you can move into that are less expensive and just as nice. For your health, your babys' and the other non smokers tell them to knock the smoking off!

Jus tell them that the landlord came over by surprise or that you forgot to tell them that he was comming over and that he smelled the smoke and threathed to kick you out! So just turn it around on them and see what they say, They may not even care because it is not affecting them but try that and then start looking for new room mates :) or they will stop smoking, I can't belive that they have not done that already. My husband is a smoker also but he know dam sure that he is not allowed to smoke in the house, Thats pretty rude, Ask them to stop please, nicely, they may comply