Stool Withholding

THANK YOU!! I am not alone. My 3 yr old daughter does the same thing, but she will go in the pull-up.

I talked to the doctor about it and they are doing a stool test to see if there are any medical problems. We have been at this since last August and she has only had BM 4 times in the potty. She also holds it. She just had a BM today after help from M.O.M.. It had been 5 days!! I have given her the normal foods and drinks that help this along and finally today she went..in her undies.

My eldest used to do this. He had a big bowel movement that hurt and did not want to go again for fear of the pain. I explained that if he doesn't go it will hurt even MORE.

I advise that you offer him a few "big raisins" (prunes) each day (only a few...as in three, unless you want to deal with runny poo) to make sure he gets enough fiber in his diet to poo comfortably. Big raisins also help to make bowel movements less painful and hard, and stimulate that "need to go."

If all else fails, go for the coffee. It's an excellent natural laxative. When the need arises, I give him a half cup of coffee with cream and sugar. I don't advise doing this in the evening as you'll likely have a very energetic little guy on your hands, but it does work.

Stool withholding... commonly occurs in toilet training toddlers.

MY own daughter did that... we did not force her to poop in a toilet... but just the idea of it gave her much anxiety and stress.
She withheld and got constipated and pain.
We then had to take her to a Pediatric Gastroenterologist... he said this is common.... and that it will take at least 3 months to undo.
Because, it is a medical problem as well as an emotional based problem-- the more a child withholds pooping, the harder the poop gets, then the more painful it gets internally and when coming out... and then because it hurts so much, the child will then withhold it even more. It is a vicious cycle.

It is DANGEROUS.... to withhold poop as well. A child can get bulging bowels and "encopresis." These are then involuntary stool soiling. And of course, their constipation can get lots worse.... and internally, it is harming their system.

For my daughter... the Doctor gave us a prescription of things to do for her and give her.
BUT... he said, NEVER give suppositories ... not in a child.
And, to just LET the child poop... in whatever way they can and is more comfortable for them... the POINT is that they poop. HAVING to poop in a toilet... is not important... because they will, when ready... do it on their own. ON their own. Just not yet. They are not ready.

Holding poop... is NOT an issue of the child being "stubborn" irritating. It is common that a child 'master' pooping, last, in the process of toilet training. It causes anxiety/stress.

I would, take him to the Doctor. An give him natural stool softeners.... a tad bit of prune juice, pear juice, water, etc.

All the best,
Susan

Oh, I feel for you! We've been down this road, and aren't completely done with the issue. Call your ped., and have a discussion with her. Ours recommended a gentle laxative called Murilax (sp?). It has a sugar in it that pulls water into the gut to soften the stool.

We also use dried apricots all the time, though I think fresh stone fruits (peaches, apricots, nectarines, plums) will also work well to soften the stool. Again check with your Dr.

Another thing that has worked well for us is having a "poop prize" that our son gets to choose once he performs. For us, a superball, beads or other trinkets that he has chosen from Micheal's the Party Store, dollar bin at Target, etc., have helped motivate him. I wasn't too crazy about the idea of prizes, but we started on the advice of a behavioral specialist, and it seems to have really helped.

So... call your dr., try some of the stool softening options, and ask your dr. how long to try on your own before you consult with a behavioral specialist.

This is really common!

Best of luck to you
C.

One of my twin boys (who will be 5 next month) always had this issue. He gets very constipated and I think it's because he holds in his stool. He will eventually go on the toilet, but it's bbviously painful and upsetting for him. We give him miralax if it gets bad (i.e. if it's been a few days and he hasn't gone.). Doesn't always work but other people have had better results with it.

Dear S., I personally have not had this problem with any of my 5, not to say we had no potty problems at all. I have seen this issue posted a few times, so I 'm sure you will get some advice. the moms on this site are great! Grandma Mary

Our son took awhile to make poopie on the toilet. We did the same as you... We also got him books about using the potty, we sang the songs, etc. He has his own special library in the bathroom and "reads" while on the toilet. In the beginning, we also used the reward system. Every time he poopied, he got a little surprise that was wrapped in aluminum foil and he got to pick it and then he got to open it. When he was using the toilet for poopie all the time, and pretty much established, we sort of phased out the rewards for it and he never gave gave us a problem over it. We told him that mommie and daddy use the toilet, poopie "belongs" in the toilet, stuff like that, and he accepted it. Lastly, but most importantly, we ALWAYS (and still do) make a very BIG deal over his poopie in the toilet. At the core, kids want/need our approval and praise will always get that message through. Hope this helps.

Hi S.,
I hope that this doesn't sound overly gross, but here's what worked for us. I ignored the action and paid a lot of attention to the output (both mine and hers!) for awhile. For example, "look! It looks like a snake!" After a short time, she wanted to go so that she could tell me what hers looked like! :)
I had no idea that I'd get so excited about her description of a rocket, rainbow, etc.!!! Good luck!
J.