Still Struggling with Sleep

Updated on March 30, 2009
C.R. asks from Virginia Beach, VA
19 answers

I think I have read every book and tried almost every approach, but my 8-month-old is still struggling at night. We have a pretty structured bedtime routine, and she has structured naps when she is home with me (vs. at "daycare" with my mom). She goes down easily most nights after our routine and nursing, and I put her down drowsy but awake most nights. She's never been a good sleeper and has always woken up needing my husband or I to go in to help settler her at least 1-2 times. For awhile it was 4-5 times. Her current deal is that she goes down between 7 and 7:30 every night and wakes up screaming between 10 and 11 every night. She is up for 1-2 hours, and gets so upset no matter what we've tried to get her to go back to sleep. We've tried rocking her, patting her in the crib, going to her immediately, waiting a little while to see if she'll settle on her own, and recently have even tried to let her "cry it out". (She has screamed for over an hour for 4 days straight, and I don't believe that is okay for her.) We've usually tried at least a week of being consistent with one strategy, but nothing has worked. She is miserable during the day when she doesn't get enough sleep, and I am starting to feel like a failure! She is already on reflux medicine, and we recently adjusted the dose in case that's what it was.... Anyone have any suggestions that I may not have tried or have any experience that there may be something else bothering her?? I know it is normal for some babies to not sleep through the night at this age, but I don't believe the amount of difficulty she is having is normal.... Thanks in advance for any advice

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thank you all for all your advice already! I plan to try a few of the suggestions.... Does anyone know if it is normal for babies to have teething issues for more than a week or two before showing a new tooth? We tried Tylenol last night, and it went better than the past two weeks. She still woke up twice but went back to sleep within 20 minutes each time. If I could have that every night, I would be content! Does anyone know if there is any limit to how often (meaning how many nights) you should give Tylenol for little ones?

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.G.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter had the hardest time staying asleep and would wake 3-5 times a night for the longest time, until at around 7 months when she rolled on her tummy and slept almost completely through the night. I talked to her doctor who said as long as she could roll over and there were no other risk factors for SIDS that we could let her sleep on her tummy. Until about 12 months she would wake maybe once a night and then at 12 months she has been sleeping through the night. I am a stomach sleeper also, so to me it made total sense!

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.K.

answers from Richmond on

We have never had this problem with our son (18 mos), so my advice may not be as good as one who has experienced the sleep issues (or lack thereof). My friend, who cares for children, had a baby girl that did the same thing. I went over on a regular basis just to visit and tried to help. After her bottle, I would gently hold her under her arms and lift her slowly a few times (instead of doing the traditional burping method of patting on the back) and when I did this, she would let out enormous burps - really BIG burps. She began sleeping soundly after being fed, after bieng lifted gently a few times under her arms, and doing these gigantic burps. I suppose that the lifting stretched out her tummy and released the extra air.

We fed our son Enfamil and Breast milk early on and then combined pureed food with Enfamil (bananas) and this really filled him up and he never had gas problems. Ask your pediatrician about adding something thicker in consistancy to her diet - every baby is different. There are times that I feel like a complete failure - you are not alone, believe me!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Washington DC on

We had this and our daughter ended up having silent reflux which wakes them up often in the night.
If you do some google searches on reflux- i could bet it is that.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Lynchburg on

Unfortunately I can't give you any advice. She sounds exactly like my daughter. She's 13 months now, and still wakes up a couple times, but now she's able to cry for just about 5 mins and get back to sleep on her own. This is something that she just started doing about a month ago. Before that it was up 2x a night, we tried everything, even co sleeping, but that didn't work as she just wanted to play and wouldn't sleep. I wanted to let you know that what you're feeling is exactly how I felt a few months ago. I don't know if it's "normal" or not, but my daughter is doing well in every developmental area except sleeping, and I had about 10 other moms tell me that at least one of their children did the same thing. Please don't feel like you're a failure! Sometimes our kids just need more help doing certain things, and it seems like sleep is one of those things for your daughter.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Unfortunately, it sounds pretty normal for her to get up 1-2X per night at 8 months. Have you thought about not keeping her up for that 1-2 hours on the 1st wake up? Also, see if there's a no-cry or less cry sleep solution that you can try for 2-3 weeks. Some kids are just not great sleepers and really need your help. If you're interested you can put her in the bed with you for the last part of the night that may give you sme relief, but start a habit that you may not want to keep up. It seems normal to me, but you know your child best.
Good luck
A.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi C.-
I thought I'd mention ear infection, because no one else did. It turns out that was what was waking my daughter up (loud crying) several times a night. The tylenol you are giving her might be relieving the pain so she can sleep. Might be worth checking out with the doctor.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Have you tried staying in the room from 10 to 11 and patting her when she starts to stir in light sleep? i.e. before she's so upset? Just a thought. Also, if she's teething, and Tylenol doesn't work, give her MOTRIN, which helps with swelling. Even with that my son was in pain and I gave him teething tablets that you can get at any pharmacy. Another thought, are you running white noise in her room? That can really help. I run a humidifier now but used white noise CDs when my son was younger. Instead of looking at it as failure, I would say consider yourself lucky you are at one to two times nightly! There are babies that sleep well at night, but most do not and you are doing great. Only thing that is problematic is the being up for 1 to 2 hours, which is why I thought being there when she woke up for a few nights might help. Best of luck to you! D.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Norfolk on

One responder says....Let her sleep with you...DON'T get into that routine. You'll never have your bed.

BUT...on another note....her age.....SHE IS PROBABLY TEETHING.

Try tylenol one night and see what she does.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I have had problems with both of my kids on and off. You are not a failure and I applaud your decision to not continue the cry it out method. It works for some kids but is problematic for others. I have actually had to go to a couple of sleep specialists for my older daughter and they have both suggested the method in Good Night, Sleep Tight or The No-cry Sleep Solution. Try one of these but know that it will take a month or more. And it will get worse before it gets better. Whatever you choose you need to do for at least a month or longer or your child will just get confused. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Richmond on

Teething is definitely a possibility. And the reflux may be the problem.. but also she may have issues with her ears and fluid in them. My son slept well for naps but was up off and on during the night (neither of his sisters had issues at all) (he had more ear infections than they did too).. after seeing an allergist (he is also allergic to milk and eggs) she ck'd his ears for fluid and has since given him a nasal spray (flonase type). That was the miracle for him. Even when he didn't have an infection he was still moaning and groaning during the night or he would do exactly what you described with your daugther. Now with the nose spray he is sleeping exactly like his sisters did.. easily 12 hours or more without a peep! Just another suggestion for you to ck into. Good luck..

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

A couple thoughts. Have you tried putting her to bed a little later? Or is she teething? Is she learning a new skill? All of these things will effect her sleep. I will tell you that my son NEVER slept through the night until after 1y. And my daughter NEVER did until I was done nursing at 14mo. Some kids just don't. What made me think teething though is that you said she wakes up screaming and stays up for a couple hours.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Washington DC on

You may already have tried this, but my son had reflux as well. My pediatrician suggested we put him in his car seat to sleep. Make sure it's secure. We put ours on the floor in living room and one of us, slept on the couch with him next to us. We did that for 2-3 weeks and then we raised one end of his crib so that his head was elevated and we gradually lowered it over about 4-5 weeks. He was able to sleep and so were we!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Have you tried moving her crib into your room or having her sleep with you. I have found sleeping with my baby the best way for us to both get the most sleep. There is no crying in the middle of the night and if she needs to nurse then I adjust a little and we both drift back to sleep. I tried the crib thing with my first 3 kids and I have slept with the my next 3. The 2 older ones I slept with as babies sleep in their own bed just fine. I am a fan of everyone sleep where everyone gets the most sleep. I also do not think you need to be regimented with a nap schedule. Babies tend to find their own schedule around the family schedule and every baby is different in what they need.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Washington DC on

maybe its her teeth??

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.G.

answers from Washington DC on

This isn't the answer you're looking for, but my 2nd child didn't sleep through the night until she was a little over a year old. I am very structured with naps and my 1st was a fabulous sleeper. I think that's just the way she was but boy was I a crazy person for that year!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.C.

answers from Norfolk on

First, you are not a failure. Every child is different so this may be normal for your child. My oldest, now 8yo, did not sleep through the night until he was 5 1/2yo! It was just his body rhythm. You have to adjust frequently with kids, especially babies. What works this week might not next week. You may need to adjust her bed time to a little later.

You said she has reflux...does she sleep with a wedge under her sheets? Teething can also mess with sleep routines so check her gums. If none of these things help. Keep a journal of your childs activity, a food journal,elimination and sleep patterns. Bring them to your next check up or call to make an appointment with her doctor if you are really concerned. Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from Washington DC on

My little one used to wake up every two hours or so until I realized I wasn't feeding him enough food for him to sleep through the night. Once we cleared that issue, he began to sleep straight through. He was on breastmilk and formula exclusively then I began to give him baby solids.

Oh yes, and I agree with the other ladies. It is possible that she is teething. Liquid Tylenol works well. At that age, I gave my son the same amount he received in the doctor's office after getting shots, which was about 1ml from a very small syringe.

Also, when my son is cutting a tooth, he poops A LOT and is very cranky and whiny.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I really feel for you. My daughter sounds like yours. Looking back, I think she never got enough sleep during the day and therefore had difficulty sleeping at night. Once I started reading her sleep cues during the day and getting her naps down, it got a bit better, but not totally until she was about 2 (not that you wanted to hear that, but I was a softy until I got pregnant again and just couldn't physically get up constantly in the night). Does your daughter have a security object? 8 months old is usually when separation anxiety hits and we had some trouble with our son, a much better sleeper, around that age. You could give her one of your T shirts that smells like you, or a blankie to hold onto. My kids were hooked on binkies, which I don't recommend if you don't want to battle much later on taking them away. You may want to also read the Healthy Sleep Habits book by Weissbluth. I found that very helpful with my son. Good luck and i wish you sleep.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.C.

answers from Roanoke on

Homeopathy is a wonderful science with all kinds of treatments unknown to the general population. Usually you need to evaluate the patient to get the right remedy, but it wouldn't hurt to try a few common ones just for the chance that they might work. You could try Chamomilla, Nux vomica or Cypripedium. I would try them at 30K potency, or if that is not available, 7CH. For an infant, use 2 granules dissolved in a little water, and put into the mouth for absorption in the mouth, not swallowing. Administer it a little before bedtime. If you try it for a couple of weeks and have no effect, then it is the wrong remedy and try another.

Also, if your baby was term and had no physical development problems to explain the reflux, you need to watch her diet. She is probably acidic because of the foods she eats. Carbs, milk, cereal, meats cause acidity. Vegetables offset it. She needs more vegetables in her diet, and less of the acidifying foods. Also, she could probably use the good bacteria, HMF.

All this and more information can be found on my web site,
www.sevenpillarstotalhealth.com

L. Cheek, MD

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches