Still Struggling with Bath Time

hi B.,
My name is C..I too have a duaghter, she is two and recently after having tubes put into her ears she now screams and fights when it comes to washing her hair. I dont have any good advice but I do know how you feel.The only thing I do is deal with the situation very quickly. I usually wash her hair first and very fastand then she knows it is over and she can play. If you hear of any resolutions please,LET ME KNOW! It is very difficult.

Make a game out of it.Something as simple as a wash cloth over the face and playing peek-a-boo or something might help.Let her help you.I know she is young but my son is the same age and he loves to help.With my daughter who also hated getting her hair washed I taught her to count by rinsing her hair.We played a counting game by counting to ten while we rinsed and then she could be done rinsing when we got to ten.As a last resort try rewarding if she lets you wash her hair.It could be something simple like a sticker.Good Luck!

I had the same problem with my daughter when she was that age, and it turned out that she had so many ear infections (and I was the person that bathed her 99% of the time) that she was scared that it would hurt. so, the doc suggested that I make it a game. try putting the shampoo in a wash cloth and start washing her body with it first.... then when you get the her back and head, progressively work up to her hair. I would use tickle buggies for the game, I would wave my fingers around and then tickle her in one spot or another, saying tickle buggies tickle buggies ect.... then when she catches on, ask her where she wants tickle buggies to tickle. you can use that to distract her while you wash her, and even use the wash cloth to tickle.
another tactic was to let her lay down on the kitchen cabinet, put a folded wash cloth on the edge of the sink, and let her lay down with her head over the sink, note that you will have to support her head, or she Will get scared, then use the faucet or sprayer to wet her head, and while you support her, you wash her hair. you can jiggle her around a bit, and laugh and play with her while you wash. Perhaps it is NOT being in the tub that makes it easier, or the fact that you can be sure to NOT get the water in her eyes or face. plus she cant actually see the shampoo before you wash, so that may ease the stress also.

well I hope that helps you, it sure helped us alot, now my daughter is 13 and loves to bathe and shower sometimes 2 times a day even. Incedentally I used this on my son also who is now 15 and he also bathes daily or a couple times a day.

good luck!
C.

I use a "bath" pillow, the kind that is blown up. She lays back on it, I use small cup and pour water over her hair to wet, shampoo, then again to rinse and of course a silly song along with it helps.
Good Luck

My son went through the same thing for about a week. It turned out that my mother-in-law had given him a bath and put too many bubbles in it and it freaked him out. It took about a week to get over. Have you tried letting her take a shower with you? She may like it better. That may make it easier to handle water in her face.

I don't remember what the responses were before...but here goes my two cents' worth of suggestions....
Can she tell you what she doesn't like about being shampooed? I think of things like---is she afraid of getting soap or water in her eyes. Does it hurt her head the way you scrub...does she have a tender scalp? Is the water too hot/cold.....

If there are things she can control - like the water temp - let her.

we have a sprayer on our shower...you can control the flow and temp...

I have used the Burts Bees bar shampoo which doesn't lather as much - and seems to not head toward the eyes.....

I have also used one of those pool buckets that has the the holes in it to let water through. My kids will even rinse their own hair with it.

I tried one of those visors but it was too small for my kids' heads. Swim googles might be another option if she is worried about soap/water in her eyes.

I hope I haven't repeated too much of what others suggested.

Oh one other thing is that she may not need to be shampooed very often...And there a number of people who don't use shampoo on their kids.(They use water and baking soda-- and sometimes a vinegar/water rinse)

i let my 2 1/2 year old do it herself. i just put a little bit of soap in her hand and let her scrub then giver her the cup and let her rinse it out. she usually will let me help to get all the soap out.

Hi Emma-
I'm not too sure what other approaches you have tried, but my daughter was the exact same way. She will also be 2 in September, and she hated for anyone to wash her hair except herself. She likes to scrub it and rinse it on her own. If your little girl doesn't like the water on her face, try one of the new rinsing cups they have at Wal-Mart. If you look back by the potty chairs and diapers, there should be some cups with a soft rubbery side that conforms to the shape of the babies head and stops the water from getting in their eyes and face. I hope this works for you!!

Two things you might want to try. Get a cheap pair of swim goggles from the dollar store and let her use those (let her pick them out), or get one of those things from the beauty supply store that are usually used on the infirm. It wraps around her hairline, so the soap and water don't run into her face and eyes. I taught my girls to tip their heads WAY back by asking them to pretend to be a mermaid!

Also try adding a hand held shower head. Let her try using it, too!

Our daughter adopted from China at the age of 2-1/2 had never even been in a bath or had her hair washed. She freaked out horribly the first time we put her in water. We got her over that very quickly by doing bubble bath and teaching her to blow the bubbles off her hands and toys. She started putting the bubbles on top of her head and we used a child's mirror with suction cups on the bath wall so she could see it and have fun. Then we gave her little recycled butter tubs to wash the bubbles off. This got her accustomed to having water on her head and now it is no problem to her to have hair washing. Maybe this would work for your daughter.

Hi B.,

With my little one, I ask her to pull her head back and sometimes she does and sometimes she doesn't, if she does, everything goes pretty much fine. But if she doesn't, She screams and all that, I finally fill the bath tub with water but not too much, enough for her to lay down and don't get her face wet, I kind of tell her to sleep there and while she lays down, I rinse her hair.

Other thing, is to use a cup, I rinse her hair with a cup and put my hand on her forhead so she doesn't get her eyes wet, finally....try for some fun and put her goggles! If nothing works, try the shower! Unbelievable as it sounds, some kids do better there. My little one doesn't mind getting wet all over in the shower but she hates when I wash her hair. Oh, make sure you use a tear free shampoo with a nice smell.
Hope something helps you!

Mariana Abadie
www.MyKidsFirst.com

Have you tried getting her involved in bath time and washing her hair. I struggled with my little girl but then gave her a cup of her own and showed her how to scrub/scratch her hair to rub the soap in. And then we let her pour water over her head and she now enjoys it.

Hi. I have seven kids and 3 of the 7 had this same problem. Mostly they just grow out of it around 3-4 yrs of age. All of the ideas above are creative and may work. It is just a matter of finding what works for your little one. The washcloth idea worked with one of mine. On the other, I would have her look up, close her eyes and say a nursery rhyme with me and by the time we were done with the rhyme I was done rinsing her hair. The third just screamed it out until she was a little over 3 years old. I would just do what I could to be quick. Above all else - just stay calm.

Hello B.. I feel your pain. My son went through a phase where he did this about bath time in general. I had to put my swimsuit on and get in with him for a week or so until he felt comfortable again. My guess is that your daughter got water in her eyes or something scared her while you were washing her hair and that is why she is getting so upset when you go to wash her hair (and why she didn't mind your sister washing it). If possible you might see if your husband is willing to give Emma a bath for a while. My daughter isn't a big fan of getting her hair washed either but what seems to help is getting her to look up at the light or the shower head (hang a fun toy up there if you need to) so she isn't concentrating on what I'm doing and it keeps the water off her face. Also I'd take it easy, maybe only wash her hair every other bath and try to make it as less traumatic for her as possible. When you do wash her hair I'd also recommend using a wash cloth soaked in water to help rinse her hair instead of pouring water over her head. Try to come up with any game that you can (waterfalls, etc) to help make it more fun. Good luck.

My son would scream when we rinsed the soap from his head. We started using a washcloth on his forehead when we rinsed the soap away so water would not go directly into his eyes. It tool a couple of times but know will allow us to rinse to water from his head..Good luck.

I feel your pain, my son did the same thing, I ended up just starting him taking showers, he still fights getting water in his face but at least when he is in a shower he can kind of control when his head goes back, versus me putting his head into the water. I've also seen a buckey type thing at Wal-Mart and on one side there is soft rubber that you put against the child's head so the water goes back instead of forward. I think my son's problem was that he had so many ear aches as a infant that the going into the water hurt.

This is something that I used to do with my boys when they were younger. I would wash their hair in the kitchen sink. I put down towels on the counter and padded the side of the sink with a rolled up towel. They didn't mind getting up there on the counter because that was the only time they were allowed up there. They would lay down on thier back with thier head hanging over the sink like a shampoo bowl at the beauty shop. It made it so much easier. I gave them a washcloth to cover thier eyes when I squirted the hair with water. Much easier! Good luck.
S.

How do you react to her screaming? I think it is funny that she did fine with your sister. Maybe part of her "fear" is a test for you. You might try just waiting until you are ready to get her out of the tub to wash her hair. Do it fast without much talking. Sure, a few comforting words, but not too much. Then just get he out and dry her off. Just be very matter-of-fact about the whole thing. If this is the only reaction she gets out of you, she might stop putting on such a show.
How does she do with your husband? Maybe he could take over bath time for a while.

Your little angel could just be reacting to YOUR anxiety. If I am reading this correctly, she is your first child, so this is probably as new to you as it is to her.
She reacted this way in the beginning for whatever reason (soap in the eyes, ears, or just fear) and that reason may have been long ago resolved, but because she has done this so often, you now EXPECT her to do it, and when you are ready to wash her hair you unconsciously tense up. Kids are experts at picking up on and reflecting adult tension. I suspect this because you said she did great for your sister.
If washing her hair in the sink is working for you, then you need to do what is comfortable for you both for now.
In the meantime, start working on making shampooing less stress for both of you. When she is in the bath, work up a little shampoo lather, put it in her hands, allow her to pat her head with it, squish it, play with the bubbles in her hair, just have a fun time, all the while CALMLY talking and smiling. You might even provide a hand mirror for her to look at her self with the "pretty bubbles" in her hair. If you do this at the end of her bath, then you can always remove her from the tub to rinse her hair in the sink, where you both feel comfortable. That will be a little extra work at first, but I really don't think this phase will last much longer. Especially as you begin to gain confidence in yourself.
Something to keep in mind to help yourself calm down ..... if you have done all you can to be sure she is not hurting any where, then even though she is screaming, there is NOTHING WRONG with her. She is just voicing her opinion. Don't let her shake you up. She is going to voice her opinion loudly on a LOT of things as she grows up.
The biggest reason a crying child upsets us as parents is because we believe something MUST be wrong if she is screaming that loudly. That is not necessarily true. When we are sure that there is nothing wrong, it is amazing how easily we can ignore a loud opinion, knowing that she IS fine, and she WILL be fine. When you get a good grip on that concept, you will relax, she in turn will then relax, shampooing will no longer be a big deal, and you can pat yourself on the back for learning a valuable parenting skill early on that will come into use countless times even well into your child's teen years and early adulthood.
Take it from someone who has been down the road of new mom, experienced mom, new grandma, and experienced grandma.
Just the fact that you care enough to want to make this a pleasant experience for you both, tells me you are a loving, compassionate, interactive Mom who wants to do the best she can for her child. Your a great Mom !