Still Nursing Before Bedtime

My DH had to take over bedtime temporarily. My son just wouldn't have it any other way. But after a couple of months, he will go down for anyone.

I breastfed until after 3 y/o with my #1 and plan on the same with #2 coming in July... if your child is still nursing, it is because they have a need to. Usually when your child tells or shows you an actual need (like "I'm hungry Mommy" or "I need a hug Mommy") - do you deny them? It's not a want, but a need. Your child will not 'need' you forever, just a very short period of time. Enjoy it while it's still here.

I would recommend a 2 week approach rather than cold turkey. Start by distracting her with other snuggly things, like books and cuddly animals, as if you forgot you were going to nurse.

And when she asks or motions for you, ask her outright if you can not just for tonight. Honestly approach of me saying I was too tired and not tonight and how about we just read a book....after a few days they seemed to be OK with skipping it too. Then we nursed every few days, and then not again.

But if she's not able to understand, you might have to disrupt your husband for a few nights in a row. Plan ahead and give him a heads up to your wishes and ask him which nights he can help you with the weaning process. Because he'll need to mentally prepare for the unexpected.

I gently cut DD back from a full nursing to so many minutes and at the end she just had a "little bit". Also make sure you have other things to replace it. Rocking, book, etc. It took us a while, but it did eventually work and one night she stopped asking and we were done.

That's about when my daughter stopped nursing to sleep also. I was pregnant with number 2 and my body couldn't keep up with both of them. Honestly, my husband had to sleep with her in the spare room then. She cried a lot, but she survived. It took a few nights, but he just had to do it. She wanted me, but if she got me, she wanted to nurse, and I couldn't tell her no in my arms. She's 8 now so there are no worries on her not surviving it just fine. I don't know how you'll do it without hubby helping though.

My daughter was about 8 mos when she weaned herself during the day. Then it seemed at night she still wanted me - for the comfort I'm sure vs. the food. However, we did transition to a bottle at night - then weaned her from the bottle. She never took a pacifier. It was tough b/c she would always fall asleep nursing, not so with the bottle, so we had to try several things to calm/soothe her. There were some long nights of me rocking her or rubbing her back over the side of the crib. I think it only took about 2 weeks and we were in a new routine... then we moved up the last feeding and just had a bedtime routine of books, cuddles and songs. I think each child is different. If you are ok with nursing - no problem continuing. If you are ready to stop, I would suggest trying a bottle and see how that goes. Good Luck

If you're ready to be done nursing, asking DH for his help at bedtime for a couple of weeks will probably be the gentlest on your daughter and the easiest on all of you.

But if you want to continue, that's fine too. Fifteen months is not too old to be nursing, and it still has health benefits for both of you. If you want to continue, don't feel like you have to apologize to anyone.

Ellen,
Congratulations on breastfeeding! How beautiful for your daughter! How healthy for you both!

Best bet would be for you to attend a La Leche League Meeting - they can give you so much more indepth info that would help you and your daughter immensely.

Good luck!
M.

It's not clear to me from your post why exactly you are trying to wean her. When my son was probably 6 months old I wanted to get him to go to sleep on his own, without nursing. What we did was I nursed him before his bath and then my husband read him stories and put him to bed. By the time he was 15 months old he decided he was going right for the bath and stopped asking to nurse. I didn't push him either way, but because he had learned to sooth himself at bedtime he decided he didn't need me anymore. Good luck.

If she takes the bottle, dilute her bottle little by little with water... until it is mostly water. Then switch to water.. then switch to a sipy cup with water and let her hold and play with it, she will soon get off the milk and know her sipy is near her if she gets thirsty. This might take a couple of weeks but hang in there! Be persistant.

good luck.

Is this something you want to do, or think you are supposed to do because of her age? My son nursed at night until 19 months, then he just stopped on his own.
Offer her a sippy cup of water and a small snack (cheese stick) while you read and rock, then brush teeth and put her into bed. Rub her back, or tell a monotonous long story, or sing a quiet song over and over. She will protest, probably loudly, but I really don't see anyway to do this without tears if she isn't wanting to give up that bedtime nursing.

I think Dh needs to adjust the time of his "me time" to step in and do this. Don't make excuses that he already does so much, so do you, and if you want to stop nursing at bedtime, this is how it will get done. It's a temporary thing.

I switched the bedtime order of things and then lost the feeding all together. We'd nurse, then bath, then stories, then some rocking and then bed. It seemed to work-a little confusing at first but she was 9 months when I made the transition in order to wean completely by 13/14 months. Its a process so take your time and bravo for breastfeeding-the best stuff for these little ones!