Still in Diapers

Updated on September 28, 2009
J.S. asks from Huxley, IA
25 answers

My 4 year old son is still wearing diapers at night. He stopped wearing them during the day since he was 2 1/2 but is almost always wet at night and even sometimes when he naps. I always have him go to the bathroom before naptime and bedtime. I also try not to give him too much to drink before, but if he's thirsty he's thirsty!

Some have suggested I wake him and take him to the bathroom at night. This does not seem like a fun plan to me! I go to bed quite early and don't want to wake up just to take him.

Will he just one day stop? Should I be concerned? I prefer to put a diaper on him instead of changing the sheets every day!

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A.R.

answers from Des Moines on

My older son was daytime potty trained at 2 1/2, but he was 6 before he was night time trained. I think his bladder just wasn't ready until then. We had a few accidents after switching to underwear, but had a rubber pad underneath the sheet, so we'd just put a clean one on and put him back to bed.

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S.O.

answers from Omaha on

We were in for my sons 3 yr appt and i asked the same question. My son is completely potty trained by day, but nap time and bed time not so much, we do diapers as well. She told us that if you go back in to the family history you will find someone that was like that as well. If he doesn't stop by age 6 they will start doing tests or to try to find out why. But it is normal especially for little boys she says. I have heard it can happen til age 8 or better. Its just a fun perk of being a parent. Best of luck.

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

You've already gotten a lot of responses, but FYI both of my boys were in pull-ups at night until age 6, long after they were daytime potty trained. No worries!

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

Have him checked for allergies. When my daughter was little she couldn't have anything with artificial flavors or colors or she would wet the bed.
I just happened to be watching a talk show (I rarely watch them) and a specialist in childhood allergies was on she said that often when children wet the bed it because of an allergy. It could be anything from artificial flavors or colors, to dairy, to wheat. I am sure the library has books on the subject. But sometimes it is a case of parents doing the detective work.
I hope this helps.

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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have an Almost 5 year old boy (will be 5 in 10 days) who just started waking up dry after night-time(just over the last part of summer). He still wears a Pull UP just in case but is dry 9 times out of 10 now. 4 is pretty young still to expect him to not wet during the night especially if he is like my son who is a HEAVY sleeper. His twin sisters are only a year younger and they were both night time trained a year ago so its obviously an individual thing. I would not worry for another year or so, seems normal to me. I just kept on with the PullUps and making him go potty before bed and he just grew out of bedwetting on his own. My older son took longer and we had to see a doctor about suggestions but he was more than 6 when we did.
K.

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J.J.

answers from Omaha on

My now 11 yr old had this same problem. My pediatrician said that night time training isn't the same as day time and not to expect that just because he can do it in the daytime that he will be able to go at night.

We tried waking our son at 10:30pm and taking him into pee before we went to bed. He still would wet the bed. He is just a very sound sleeper and couldn't wake up. One time when he was 5 yrs old he got up at 10pm went out into the hallway and started peeing on the floor. We went out there trying to figure out what he was doing and he was obviouly sleep walking. He didn't remember it the next day. We still laugh about it.

Your son will outgrow this. I've heard of some kids having trouble until they're 10 or 11. I would just buy him night time pull ups and let it go at that. Eventually he'll be able to wake himself at night and go on his own. It's not your sons fault. My brother-in-laws son did this for a long time and they used to punish him. I got so angry at them for this.

I agree, if your child is thirsty, he's thirsty! My son now limits his liquids at night on his own. I don't push him to this at all.

Good luck!

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K.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

Do you think if you put him in a trainer, instead of a diaper, that will help? Maybe if he sees it as underwear he will treat it, at least subconsciously, as underwear. If he is in a diaper, he is going to treat it like a diaper. He needs clear signals from you as to what to do. So, that would be my first suggestion. A good, like underwear but super absorbant trainer, is the Happy Heiny. Here is a link. http://www.cottontailbaby.com/item_576/Happy-Heiny-Pocket...

One other thought is to have him go to the bathroom mulitiple times before bed. Not just one time. We had a similar issue with one of our guys and we literally have him go two or three times in the 15 minutes leading up to bed time. That helps a lot. Also, we make sure he is not too warm at night. If he is too warm and has too many blankets, that seems to lead to accidents.

Hope one of those ideas helps.

B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Relax mom! Night time 'training' is totally different than daytime training. Most kids can easily be day trained by age 2, but for a few night time training doesn't come until the yare 8-10yrs old. The part of the brain that controls the wake up function doesn't mature until some kdis are much older, so trying ot push night time training is not only frustrating for you, but it is for your child as well, as this is something he cannot control and something he cannot just fix.

I'm an early potty training advocate, and I know that some kids (like mine) are never wet at night. My boys haven't been wet at night since they were around a year old, and both were out of diapers before 18mos. But my friends have kids who are trained at or before 2, 3, 4... and the yare still wetting the bed. There is nothing they did wrong, its just that one little area of the brain sometimes takes longer to mature and become 'available' for nighttime waking.

Put a diaper on him and don't make a big deal out of it, as he's coming to the age where he will be getting self conscience about it. He will outgrow it.

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L.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

My 4 1/2 yr old son now is the same way. He's great during the day but at night we put a pull up on becuz like you said, don't want to change sheets all the time. No matter if he drinks b4 bed there are nights where he wakes up soaking but not leaking and there are other nights where he doesn't wet at all. He told me he will be fully potty trained when he is 10. I thought that was quite funny but I said he has to be when he's 5 or he can't go to kindergarten. My cousin had the same thing with her son and a little over a month after he turned 5 he quit wetting bed and would get up in the middle of the night if he really had to go. So I'm just going to wait for my son to do it on his own. If we get closer to kindergarten we will see what the pediatrician says about it.

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J.F.

answers from Madison on

Please be patient with him, my oldest still has accidents on occasion and he is 9. My almost 6 year old wears the goodnights to bed and so does my almost 4 year old. They will out grow it and it is totally normal.

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J.K.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

hello J. , i had the same problem with my son i to put pullups on him he was a little older then my peditrican sent us to a uralogist to see if there was something more, he didnt think so , he said stop with the pullups, they get use to that and that is not helping him then he mentioned a bed wetting monitor they sell them at pharmacy supply stores and i got one my son slept so sound that he didnt wake himself up when he had to go but the bed monitor worked i wished i would have gotton one sooner , by the time a person spends money on pullups they could have invested in one monitors it worked after a few nights
good luck

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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son turned 5 in June and he stopped wearing pull-ups at night in February. We had kept a calendar and put a sticker on it whenever he was dry. If he wasn't, it was no big deal and we would tell him that. We told him that if he stayed dry for 7 days in a row that he would get to sleep in underwear. Many times he would get to 5 days and then wet his pull-up. We did not give him anything to drink 2 hours before bed, unless he was really thirsty and then it was just a sip. We also had him use the bathroom right before bed. Then in February he went 7 days in a row and we put underwear on him and he stopped wetting at night. I think he maybe had 1 or two accidents within the month but no big deal. Get a water proof mattress pad. It's been seven months and he's doing great. So I would just keep doing what you are doing and not make a big deal if he's not dry. Maybe try the stickers just to keep track how often he stays dry.

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J.M.

answers from Janesville-Beloit on

Hello,
I would keep him in diapers or those pull-ups that look like underwear but are basically a diaper/pull-up for night time so the child feels like a big kid and if he goes over to anyone's house for a sleep over when he gets older, he won't be embarrassed. My husband had this problem when he was younger and he eventually grew out of it when he got older (I can't remember how old he was). It didn't matter if he stopped drinking liquids as soon as his supper was over which was 3 hours or so before bedtime or not. And he would go to the bathroom before bed and still wake up wet in the morning.

My stepdaughter had this problem for a little while and she grew out of it within a year.

My neighbor kid also has this problem, and they put him on some sort of pill, but as soon as he stops taking it, he's back to wetting the bed, so they have opted to put him in pull-ups instead of putting meds in his system.

I personally wouldn't be worried about it. It's more embarrassing for the child, so I think the less you make of it, the better. And I don't see the harm in him being in diapers still - it's more comforting and worry free for both of you. He will grow out of it at some point. Mention it to his doctor at his next appointment just to make sure it's not something more, but this is a problem for a lot of children. I won't be surprised if my children have the same problem. I know how it effected my husband when he was younger - the less of a deal, the better for the child.

Take care!

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J.F.

answers from Rochester on

My almost-four-year-old is the same way. She's been day-trained for 9 months now, but she sleeps like a rock and doesn't get up to potty at night. We have her in pull-ups at night for now. My son did the same thing off and on till he was almost five, so I'm not worried about it. Each kid develops differently. Don't worry, your little guy is perfectly fine. :)

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D.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

J. - this may sound like really strange advice but I would take your son to a chiropractor. A quick adjustment and the problem could disappear.

I have two chiropractors I would highly recommend - one in Eagan and one in Lakeville. Let me know if you want their information.

Good luck,

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T.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

Our 6 year old was potty trained at 2 and never had any accidents during the day, but she sleeps like a rock and wakes up wet every morning. Her pediatrician says not to worry until she is 9. Her 3 year old sister wakes up dry every night so she gets a bit frustrated with not being able to stay dry, but we never make a big deal of it.

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S.M.

answers from Des Moines on

My 8yr old was not potty trained even during the day until she was 4 1/2yrs old. We asked the Dr. she said switch to underwear and don't look back. So we did and that did it for her. She stayed dry through the night, and she's a kid that needs 11-12 hours of sleep an sleeps hard. (she did have a few accidents along the way, but not many)

Now my 4yr old started wearing undies at 3yrs and going on her own but she still wears diapers at night. Tonight she's going to wear undies since she's woken up dry all week this week! She's excited! We'll see how she does.

Every child is different. I'm like you, I would rather put a diaper on instead of washing sheets daily. He'll stay dry when his body is ready. So do what is best for you guys and good luck!

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H.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I didn't take the time to read thru the responses, so if this is a repeat, I apologize.

I previously worked at a natural health clinic. In that setting we saw numerous kids with bed wetting tendencies. I would take him to a chiropractor and then have him checked also for allergies.

Sometimes it is a subluxation that is the culprit behind the wetting (in that case chiropractic can help...I've seen near instantaneous results)

I've also heard of allergies being an underlying cause, but I don't know much about that personally.

Best of luck.

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K.R.

answers from Omaha on

You could be talking about my son!!

I asked his dr. about it at his 4 year well check and was told that this is a biological process and he will eventually stay dry through the night - he said it's normal until 6, or even 8 with boys.

Since it's a biological process he stressed not shaming being wet or making a big deal that he wears pull-ups at night. Eventually this will pass and my son could care less that he wore a pull-up at night. (He finally was able to stay dry at 4 1/2, still an accident every now and again, but we try not to make it a big deal.)

Best of luck to you!!

K.

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

His bladder is just physically immature and there is nothing you can do but wait. Keep buying nighttime pullups be patient. Some boys wet the bed til 10 years old. Perfectly normal and it's just something they have to physically outgrow they can't help it.

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N.W.

answers from Davenport on

My son was in diapers at night until well into three yrs. Our doc said it is perfectly normal for night time wetting until almost 7 or 8 yrs. So you could ask, but I would say if he is well trained during the day, he is probably okay. My son and daughter just finally outgrew it.

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K.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

I can't help but wonder if the diaper isn't sending the message that it's alright to pee in them, after all, that's what they are for. Cutting back on liquids after a certain time (may be earlier in the day than you think), going to the bathroom before sleeping, and yes! getting up in the middle of the night can help. I am always amazed at the letters in which the parents express a desire to not have their established schedules disrupted by their children. Having kids means that everything changes and that is just normal. Be sure to protect you mattress with plastic until your son is able to be dry all night.

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J.L.

answers from Milwaukee on

I have the same situation with my 6 year old. We went to talk to her doctor (who won't even start any kind of treatment until at least 6 years, because it isn't considered abnormal prior to that). She said that we could try waking her up at night but none of the parents she's talked to said it really helped the situation. The best possible solution, according to her, is to wait for the child to outgrow it. He's only 4 which is very young. I'd just put on the pull-up and give him some time to grow :)

Good luck!
J.

B.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Keep using the pull-ups at night. Our pediatrician said that it's normal for some kids to have accidents even up to age 5. Get some sleep and don't worry about it!

www.thosecrazybeans.blogspot.com

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R.S.

answers from Des Moines on

I was in the exact same place with my daughter until just a few months ago, when she just "decided" to go to the potty in the night instead of wearing the diaper to bed. It was almost exactly at her 5th birthday. So I would say that yes, he will probably just one day stop. Actually, I think it was exactly the same with another one or two of my children. (I'm getting a little too senile to tell you details)

There is nothing wrong with taking him to the bathroom in the night. I remember my mom doing that. But she and I are like night and day. That was how she WANTED to deal with it. Maybe she was happy about the money she was saving on diapers (hee, hee). I think it made her feel as though we were more "successful" or something. Good for her. I am much too lazy to want that lifestyle, so I waited it out. Both ways worked.

I would agree with the chiropractor suggestion, too. I wish I had thought about it for my daughter. It may have sped things up for her or made her feel better in some way. It couldn't hurt.

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