Still Feeling Sick & Unable to Have Sex After Daughter's Birth ? Suggestions?

Sounds like you need to see a new dr. That is not normal. And they need to give you meds for migraines if they are happening often. Please get a 2nd opinion.

Oh good grief. You need another doctor. I'm so mad at your doctor reading this post! How dare that doctor say that 3 months after birth it's normal to have these symptoms and bleeding!

I'm also angry at your husband. How dare he put this on the internet for all to see! If my husband had done that, I wouldn't be writing naughty poetry. I'd be yelling at him. And if my family wanted to talk about that during Hanukkah, I'd be pointing my finger directly at them telling them to change the subject immediately. Maybe your husband deserves your grandma and friends not liking him right now.

Find a different doctor. You need answers for what is wrong with you! Ask about estrogen cream - my doctor gave me that after a pregnancy and it helped.

You need to have some real testing done and not accept being passed off as if this is normal. It is NOT. And your husband needs to shut the heck up to the world about your lack of a sex life. You did NOT sign up for this by having his baby.

I'm not sure if you spoke to your OB/GYN or if you spoke to your General Practitioner. Either way, talk to the other one.

I believe it is normal for the first couple of times to be a little uncomfortable - it was for me, anyway. But that's a far cry from what you are experiencing.

I would talk to your doctors again and insist that they help you. If not, I would look for another doctor. What you are experiencing is not normal!

Migraines (with nausea and dizziness) can really be triggered by hormonal changes postpartum. Did you have them before? Do you see a specialist? If not, that's what I would recommend.

As for bleeding 3 months after delivery - I'd ask for a full exam just to make sure that everything's as it should be. Ask for a second opinion if necessary.

As for the husband blogging your personal details ... not sure what to say there. Does he do this regularly? Seems like a really odd way to air marital concerns. I would suggest marital counseling. I'd have a hard time trusting my husband after that.

Hope you get some of your questions answered and you feel better soon.

Your doctor isn't going to understand because he's never given birth,bleeding during post birth sex indicates several things,your husband is a ding dong,you had tearing that hasn't healed yet and or the doctor decided to put in stitches that don't dissolve.find a different doctor and ask them to take a look at things and tell your husband not to whine about online K. h

I agree with the others, and your friends, and the nurse/babysitter. This is not normal. Get a new doctor who listens to you and doesn't dismiss you.

I think you should rethink 2 statements:
a) that your husband "helps" with the baby. It's not helping. It's parenting. Men don't get a Nobel Prize for being fathers.
2) "He needs sleep more than me." No he doesn't. Not when you're doing so much, you have headaches, you're vomiting, and you're bleeding.

He shouldn't have gone on Facebook with your personal info - he should be helping you make phone calls to find a new physician. And I wouldn't be working on "naughty poetry" for someone with boundary issues regarding your privacy. There's nothing wrong with the poetry or any erotica, but you're putting energy into that when your body is not at all healthy.

Please put yourself first. You know that airline safety speech about oxygen masks? "Put the mask on yourself before assisting others." Your baby deserves a healthy mom. Please stop neglecting yourself and ignoring these serious symptoms.

Well, let's look at this aside from the sex and the Facebook post.

It seems like the most urgent part of your post is the part about throwing up, migraines, dizziness, bleeding, pain - all physical symptoms that should not exist three months after birth.

What did you do to lose the baby weight? Anything extreme (severe diet, eliminating essential nutrients, taking supplements or herbs or teas or pills, wearing one of the those corsets that some celebrities swear by for reducing the waist size after pregnancy)? Have you been doing extreme workouts to lose weight?

Have you had a basic blood test recently to test for electrolytes, essential vitamins, iron, ferritin, Vitamin D3, white blood cell counts? Ask your doctor to order a complete blood test.

Migraines, dizziness, vomiting are NOT normal. My daughter experiences those due to her medical disorders. Some people experience those symptoms due to food poisoning a virus, or any one of a million reasons, but they're not normal. Sure, after a difficult birth, it can be normal to experience a short course of a variety of odd symptoms, but they don't persist for months. I had a health crisis right after my dd's birth and nearly had a stroke. Emergency measures saved my life (I was still on the delivery table) and for about 3 days I felt pretty horrible. But then with fluids, medication, and hospitalization, I started feeling like a normal new mother. Sore, sure. Tired, definitely.

I suggest you seek a second opinion. But make sure you are honest with your doctor about any supplements, diets, herbs, homeopathic preparations, exercise, etc, that you may be trying to use to lose weight or regain your normal life. And get that blood test!

And make sure your husband isn't trying to make light of your symptoms to the doctor, just so your sex life can resume. Go privately to your doctor and be honest. Skip the poetry and focus on your health.

Also, evaluate what your day is like. Are you frantically trying to create an Instagram story of your baby's every moment; are you trying to make her an heirloom quilt by hand; are you vacuuming and dusting every free minute; are you hand-sewing her organic diapers and organic cotton clothing; are you trying to do too much? Or are you just caring for your little one, making simple but good food out of wholesome real ingredients, taking time to nurse her and sing to her, and letting the decorating and scrapbooking go for awhile? Ask your husband to be patient while you heal.

Ditch that doctor. Find a new one ASAP. This isn't normal.

Your husband shouldn't have done what he did and he's gonna have to wait till you heal for sex. He may be freaked out and worried, but he still screwed up by sharing your stuff without permission. Make that perfectly clear.

If any family can help while you recover, accept that help.

I disagree that all this is normal 3 months after childbirth (being tired=normal; severe pain, migraine, dizziness, vomiting=not normal). Get a second opinion from a new doctor.

Maybe you should see another doctor.
If your husband isn't being supportive then don't take him to to your doctor appointment.
He can stay home and watch the baby.
If it's been 12 weeks or more you should be done bleeding.
Many women feel well enough to resume sex 6 to 8 weeks after but 8 is typical for the doctor to ok having it again.
Your husband should not have blogged your difficulties on Facebook.
The throwing up isn't normal either - while it could be anything a hormone imbalance can make you really nauseous.
If you are breastfeeding you need to eat to support your healing and to feed your growing child.
Having a new born really is exhausting - your body needs rest to heal and it doesn't sound like you are healing.

welcome to mamapedia, PomPom Girl.

Congratulations on your new baby!!

Sorry - but I don't remember vomiting after having my children. Nor do I remember sex being painful 3 months after childbirth.

Sounds like you need a new OB/GYN.

You didn't say if you had surgery or not for your delivery. It sounds like you might have some type of infection or adhesion that is causing the pain. I would go to a different gyn to get an examination to see if there is some type of internal cause of the pain. I've heard of all sorts of problems after surgery....sponges left inside, infections and so on.
As far as your husband...I would sit down and draw the line about what is private and what is public. Have him delete any public posts about your personal information.
My husband and I did have a conversation many years ago about what information was completely private. We decided that neither one of us could reveal information about the other. So if I choose to discuss my medical information with others, that's my choice, not his and vice versa. There are also other things that I don't want others to know about. Even though we are intimate regularly, I choose to sleep in a different room because I have had insomnia my whole life and I am a much nicer happier person when I get a good night of sleep (and he snores). This is private information that I do not share with others and we agreed he would not share either. Our sex life is one of those completely confidential topics (plus I don't think anyone really wants to know that stuff)
Some of this seems like common sense, but everyone has their own opinion about what is private. It deserves a long discussion.