Stepson Seeking to Live with Father

He has to be 12 years old to sign an affidavit stating who he wants to live with. You need a family law attorney. If they have joint custody it shouldn't be too much of a problem unless his mom decides to contest it.

Sorry to hear about the situation your family is in. Unless you can prove to the courts that he is being abused, it is very difficult to take full custody away from the mother. And from my experience, there is not an age when the child can decide where he/she wants to live because a child is not capable of making such a mature decision (he may get angry at you guys 2 months after living with you and decide that he wants to live with his mom again, etc) but I believe that at age 12 the courts will listen to the child’s side and make a decision based on his testimony, the mothers and the fathers side and then decide the best interest of the child. I know it's difficult to see him hurting and you want to believe what he says, but make sure to get the whole story (sometimes kids fabricate things to make it seem worse/better to get their way). Could it be that he is jealous of this new man in his mother’s life? Maybe you could see if the mother will address that issue (and maybe she won't become so defensive). She could easily set aside time for him only and time for the 3 of them together as a family to help him feel like he is just as important now as he was before the new husband. Just a thought....I come from a split home and we have experienced it all! Just try to make sure everybody makes him feel welcomed and loved and he will hopefully adjust. If the step father is being abusive, find out what he is saying/doing. If it is considered abusive thru an adults eyes (saying no to a child or disciplining when necessary is not being abusive although a kiddo might think so!), you should contact CPS - no child should feel bad about himself in his own home. Just make sure you have facts before doing anything drastic with the courts or state - you don't want to scar him for life because of the traumatic experience of being jerked around in the courts! Good luck!

I'm not a mom, but I've been in the opposite situation when my step-mom was emotionally abusive. Depending on how cool the mom is, it doesn't matter how old he his. I moved between houses for a lot of years and first made the descision (before my dad got remarried) to live with my dad when I was 13 or so, my mom was fine with it. Have you thought of calling CPS or anything like that? I know that's a harsh 'solution' but if your son is being hurt then he needs to be out of the situation, I know that's the way you feel.

I did a quick search online and found this, that says 13, which I think it is 12 or 13, but doesn't matter legally if the mom won't contest the move.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=2007090410212...

Good luck with this. I also recomend you talk to his school and maybe find a counselor now to help him deal with this. The counselor will know better how to handle it as well.

I am/have gone through that and we were told that the kids have to be 12 to decide but we were also told that if they are considered mature enough to decide (whatever that means) then he can decide as well. Hope this helps and sorry to hear what he is going through that.

Hi, A.
I have been in a similar situation with my step-daughter. Her father and I have had custody of her for several years now.

Do an internet search for Texas Family Code and you will be able to answer alot of your own legal questions concerning the age of the child, custody issues, etc. Also, I would suggest mediation or counseling. Try Family Services, Inc with numerous locations in Tarrant County or The Parenting Center in Arlington or Ft Worth. Parenting Center has a free assistance line at ###-###-####. Both places have sliding scale fees, or accept insurance and Medicaid.

Last piece of advise I have is to DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! Anything your stepson tells you that causes concern, any confrontation with the Mom &/or stepdad and the outcome, etc. In case you do go to trail, complete documentation is a lifesaver! Good luck and God bless.

Greetings A.:

I do not have this issue, but I do know that a young male mind can be easily bruised by the ego of another man who is not his father. If you husband agrees to have his son come live in your home, support him 100% and do what is in the best interest of the child. Not that I have all the details, but I sounds like the mother is just as much of a problema s the stepfather. You should aim to get him there with you.

Love and blessings,
N.

Hi A.,

I am a divorce attorney in Tarrant County. I have read through some of your replies. Some of them are correct and some are not. I also see that Janet Denton (a great attorney) has also given you some suggestions. Feel free to contact my office as well if you wish to talk to someone about this issue. My number is ###-###-####. Good luck

J. Duke

A. - I'm a divorce attorney and before your hubby goes through the legal route, you might look at hiring a parenting coordinator to talk this through. They are mental health professionals and coudl get the communication going about how to handle blended family issues and come up with a plan. I have several in the area I would recommend including Brad Craig, Aaron Robb and Brenda Lee Roberts. If you can't find them let me know and I'll give you the info - also, consultations with an attorney in my firm are free if you all want to come in and brainstorm options. J. D.

Hi A.:

My step children have been living with us since they were 11 & 12. If I remember correctly, we were told they would be able to choose when they were 12, however, what is more important here is that if your stepson is being abused, the judge will consider his wishes PRIOR to him turning 12. Our situation was a little different as my children were both failing school so the kids decided it would be in their best interest to be in a two parent home where they would be provided more help and follow up with homework, etc so they spoke to their mother about it and, surprisingly, she agreed to allow them to come live with us.

I just think you should definitely follow your heart - if you feel it's in your stepson's best interest to live with you and your husband, do whatever it takes! Hopefully, she'll agree to his request, but if you must go to court, do it before his stepfather damages his spriit for good.

Best of luck to you!

Definitely get a child advocate for your stepson. He can decide where he lives - at age 12, the courts let them sign an affadavit. Fight for him to live with his father full time. Take detailed notes of dates and things he has said.

Once a child reaches the age of 12 they can legally decide which parent they choose to live with. You will need to petition the court to change his physical address to his dad's and the mom will begin to pay child support.