Step Daughters Behaviour

I assume they are older if they were at a resort with guests? I think as a stepmother, she shouldn't say anything. like others have said, you don't want to destroy that relationship if they are close, especially over a gift. I admit, I'm 32, and I have to rack my brains for a gft for my dad for his birthday, fathers day and christmas. men are not easy! You can only give them so many mugs and ties. :-)

No. It is up to him to say something, even a joke, "what, no gift for your old man." If she spoke up (out of the goodness of her heart) she would be triangulating, or taking a situation between daughter(s) and father and then stepping in to "help". In this case, she is in danger of the messenger being killed (figuratively, of course.)

Jen

Was the father disappointed? If not, I would not say anything.. I know my FIL always says he "does not want anything", "do not spend the money on me"..

Also FIL has everything he wants. If he wants something he purchases it himself after researching and paying top dollar..

My father prefers us to spend time with him rather than gifts..

Of course we love giving gifts. So we always give gift certificates or a treat.. But if everything was fine, I would take 2 steps back and let it pass.

I don't fully understand, are you talking about your sister's grown step daughters? Personally, I think this is not any of your business, even asking the question for her is rather odd. You may not know all of the circumstances or how they have celebrated their dad's b-day over the yrs and if I were you and her I would not start a family feud. If your bro-in law is upset he is a grown man don't you think he will bring it up or remember it when their b-days roll around? Sorry if I offend you in what I say, but step relationships can go sour easily over things the bio parent need to address not the step parent or in-laws.

It was rude of them, however, I don't feel it's your place to say anything...

Without knowing more details, there could be some rationale on the SD's part. Did they come more or less directly to the party on their return from their weekend? If so, they probably didn't think of gifts while in their pre-weekend rush, and may not have had time afterward. Even so, showing up to honor their dad was way better than not showing up because they didn't have gifts.

Even if they have no such excuse, it's good to remember that gifting is voluntary, or else it's not a gift (maybe more like an obligation, or a tax). I sure don't want people to give me gifts because they have to. And I have, some years, not given someone a gift because I never found the "right" thing, and didn't want to just give some obligatory token.

If your sister has good relationships with these daughters, that's a lot, and worth preserving. Judgements and expectations tend to get in the way of good relationships, so if I were her, I'd leave it to her husband to let his pleasure or displeasure be known to his daughters.

What have they done for dad on previous birthdays, father's day, Chirstmas etc?

In our home, there was always room for one more at the table...I know this is not the case in every home...especially if a special menu had been planned or simply there was not much food.

Blessings...

i would just say that you were disappointed for him that they didn't get him a card or small gift, and let it go.

How old are they? Honestly they might just not know yet who/when to buy gifts. If their mother doesn't teach them, then how will they know, especially if they are teens/early twenties. Its hindsight now, but maybe for the future their mom should talk with them about their responsibilities and expectations now that they are adults - if they are in fact adults making their own money.