Staying Home - Webster,MA

Hi A.,
You should definitely expect a transition period but no need to panic! My honest advice is to set your expectations sort of low. One of the toughest things for me quitting work was losing a feeling of productivity. But now that it has been over a year, the following things, which I once took for granted, count as a productive day: showering, unloading (or loading) the dishwasher, dressing the kids, feeding everyone 3 healthy meals and 2 healthy snacks, having a laugh, hearing a new word or interesting thought from my kids. Everyday I pray for more patience, and when things get very tough I stop and think "patience, come to me now". Yes, it is sort of like screaming "serenity now!" on Seinfeld sometimes. To feel happy and successful in a full time role as stay-at-home mom you must find pleasure in each of the small things you do, and it actually takes focus and training, so give yourself time to adjust. The other advice is also great - find other Moms you can connect with and try to stay busy with activities outside the home when you can. Also, if your husband is really oblivious, just get direct about how and when he can help. Being passive aggressive or hoping he'll see where he can pitch in won't help. It will be an adjustment for him too b/c at first he might not understand how you stayed home all day but "nothing" got done (see list above!). My husband is a little oblivious too, but he's happy to take orders and when I don't give them, not much happens! God love 'em! Good luck. My kids are 22 mos apart also and there are good days and bad days! Just like work.

Hi A., I am in a similar situation with my work ending in the next month.
I plan to join my local early childhood pta and use meetup.com to find a playgroup we like. Most of the SAHMs that I know use a local church mom's day out program. The programs in my area cost less than $200/mo for 2 days/wk. This gives you a chance to do your errands and gives them some socialization without you.

getting on a schedule is very important......start making a schedule so you have something to look forward to.....check out the library for story time, play group, mops, local bookstore, local YMCA, etc......congrats

Teresa S had some GREAT points, ditto her completely! It is hard to stay at home, but when I think about how great it is for my kids, I'm glad that this is the path I have chosen. I think the one thing you can do to help yourself is to make sure you have some time each week for YOU! Get out of the house or just have some uninterrupted you time, where the kids are not your responsibility and you can concentrate of something other than your family (even though they are the most important part of your world). GL - you can do it!!

Hi A.:

Most towns have toddler groups and often the library has children hours that will help breakup the day. I live in Reading, MA and there is a group called connect the tots; you might enjoy this. Congrats on your new baby.

S.

When I was home in maternity with my 2-year old and my baby girl I started thinking that going back to work would be like going on vacation! I say this half kidding. The fact is that being a stay-home-mom is hard work. But, like anything else, it's all about your attitude and approach to the lifestyle change. Think of impact it will have in your children's life. They will only be this small once and then it's gone. Like others suggested, make a schedule that includes a routine for the kids' basic necessities and some outings for social exposure for both the kids and yourself. Consider yourself lucky. I wish I could stay home. Enjoy!

You do go a little stir crazy. I now have three and keep busy. I also work from home, it is awesome because I get to talk with moms all over the country. I love it! I will add you as a friend and we can chat, check out my profile too!

M. - SAHM and WAHM of three!

A.,

I remember when I stopped working. I was afraid and wondered what the heck am I going to do all day. I found that when I had things planned it went a lot easier. At first I was overwhelmed when I didnt have my own time to just breath. Thats when I did take the time to do things for my daughter and I. Like walking her with another mom, play dates with other moms that I enjoyed spending time with. Us stay at home moms really need each other. This is the only time in your childrens life that they will need you all the time. I tried to look at it the most positive way I could, that helped a lot. Mine are older now and have moved on. I wouldn't change staying home with them. I am so happy I am the one that got to see and do everything with them. I was the one who got to mold what kind of adults they would become. I have a 10 year left to raise, I also stayed home until he went to school. I can't tell you how really lucky you are. You will go crazy at times, you will wonder why you did this. Then they will do something so cute that you will be so happy your the one who got to see it and not a sitter. Just remember to make time for just you, let hubby know that you need time alone. Count your blessings, not all moms get to do what you will do and what I got to do!! Find your patients and enjoy this time. It wont be forever. Good luck!

D.