Staying Dry at Night

My friends have a 4.5 yr old who had the same issue. They bought what they call a 'pee pee alarm' and after 2 wks of using the alarm he now stays dry at nights. The alarm has a wetness sensor that gets clipped onto the underwear, then if it gets even a drop wet it sets off an alarm that is worn on the child's PJ top, the child then wakes up. The alarm has 6 or so different sounds and will randomly play one each time, so the kid never gets used to a particular sound and just sleeps through it.

This is a very, very common problem--and there is nothing you can do other than wake him at night or get an alarm--which he is probably too young for yet. He really cannot control it--please don't try to make him, he is sleeping and cannot help it.

That said, milk irritates the bladder. If this is a quantity problem, eliminate milk from his diet after about 4pm. Give water or something else at dinner. I fought this fight for almost 9 years with my oldest, and once milk was gone from the nighttime menu, the problem was cut in half and he was finally able to gain control of it. I could not believe with how many years I talked to doctors and others that finally this one suggestion was all it took to at least make it more controllable. It truly was the one thing that helped.

Good luck, and know it is perfectly normal--I have three boys, and 2 out of 3 (the third is only 2) have had this issue.

A.

My 8 1/2 yr (boy) still has accidents at least 4 nights a week. We take him to the bathroom about 11:30 every night when we go to bed, and sometimes he has even had one by then and will have another by morning. Bladders grow at different speeds and it isn't something that is in their control. Bribing won't work b/c of that. Just let him know it's ok, and be private about it. He will start to be self-concious about it if you make it a big deal.

One thing i would try to be to make sure he goes to bathroom right before bed and also to cut any drinks about an hour at least before bedtime.
I never had this problem with my sons that i can remember, but I know my grandson has a problem why up into his teen years and also a ex brother inlaw did as well.
Good luck,
KayD

I am currently trainning my 2.5 year old girl. So, I don't have much experiance with potty trainning, but I have talked with my friends about the potty trainning process. I have a friend who would wake up her daughter in the middle of the night for her to go to the bathroom. I think that they did that for a cupple of weeks or about a month, and that seemed to take care of the bed wetting. I hope this helps.

My husband's nephew was a big bed-wetter. In order to help him learn to go at night, they got some kind of alarm (they called it a Pee Detector) that sensed when he was wet. It's a little thing you stick in the underwear. An alarm goes off when it senses the slightest bit of moisture. I'm not sure where they got it, but they said it helped. My husband said a doctor or pharmacist would probably know where you can get one of those.

I don't think there's any way that you can talk to him or bribe him enough that would get him to wake up on his own in the middle of the night. Many kids just are heavy sleepers or simply their body do not wake them up when that sensation comes. Your son may start to get frustrated if he starts to think he has control over this area and then that would be disastrous. He may start to get stressed at nights knowing he wants to please you but just there is no way to master this on his own. My advice would be do all that you can--like you monitoring the liquids before bedtime, make sure he uses the potty before bedtime, and one friend of mine would actually wake her daughter up in the middle of the night so that she could go because her daughter, too, would not wake up even after mastering the day time training. Hang in there. If he's okay wearing pullups to bed, great. I really don't see how this can be trained, the body's got to do this one, I belielve.

I understand your frustration. Both of my sons had trouble staying dry at night. My older son started staying dry at night around age 6. My younger son didn't stay dry consistently until he was about 9 years old. As you can imagine, as he got older, he felt embarrassed about it, and he tried doing things himself, like setting his alarm to wake himself up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and giving himself "hypnotic" sugestions before going to bed. I think he just had to grow out of it. As frustrated as I felt with it, I tried not to make my sons feel guilty about it or make a huge issue out of it. It was really only a "problem" when they wanted to spend the night at someone else's house. I protected their mattresses with a waterproof cover, got them absorbant pull-ups for night, and just washed a lot of sheets and pajamas. Don't worry--he WILL grow out if it. In the meantime, don't make a big deal out of it.
J. W.

Hi K.,
My son is 8 (9 in a month). He has been wearing goodnights for quite a while. Just before Christmas, he went into his room at 8:30PM to get ready for bed, and discovered he had no more goodnight underwear. We had an agreement that it was his responsiblitiy to let me know when he was running low. I had a long day at work, then school after that, and I was tired. I told him we were not going to the store to get them. He went to the bathroom before he went to bed, and I woke him up 2 more times that night to make him go. He hasn't been in goodnights since and has only had 2 "accidents". He now gets himself up in the middle of the night to go.
Just keep encouraging your son. Don't make him feel "like a baby" for still wearing pullups to bed. He will grow out of it. Good luck! ~J.~

For the most part we have this down. Every once in a while we have a accident but that is gonna happen. My sons bed time is 8pm. So I do not allow him to have ANYTHING to drink after 645. He then has to go potty before we hit that bed. IT is all about controlling the fluid intake to teach the body how control the urges and feeling with the muscles and the bladder. I guess you can think of it like potty training a dog - silly I know.

HE might just sleep to sound to even know he is doing it.

My son is also 4.5 and we are facing the same challenges. I've been getting him up in the middle of the night to go on the potty, but that usually turns into a fight. He is a heavy sleeper and does not like to be woken up. And trying to get him to open his eyes to watch what he is doing makes it an even bigger fight. Well, we both need our sleep, so I am giving up on the middle of the night routine. I am still having to wash sheets and pajamas and keeping him in his pullups. The challange there is that in his sleep, he tends to sometimes "move" things around in his pull up and then when he pees, it gets outside the pull up. I can tell by the location of the wetness on his pajamas. I've thought of getting him one piece pj's to see how that workd, so at least that will maybe help keep him dry on the outside of the pull up. Anyway, it's all a matter of time. When his body is ready to let him know when to get up in the middle of the night on a regular basis, things will improve. Until then, we invest in pull ups and laundry detergent. I am only thankful that it is just nighttime, not daytime too. Best of luck to you.

hi, K.. my son (now 15) wore a pull up at night until he was 5 1/2. It is my understanding that the sensation is really a neurological process that becomes mature at its' own pace.. boys usually take a little longer. my pediatrician said "look, he won't be wearing a pull up at 16 so what are you really worried about?". hmmmm.. that kind of took the pressure off in a way :) he was right. he was ready when he was ready.. my help, bribes, worry or fear wouldn't have made him go any quicker. so relax & enjoy the pull up days.. they will be gone in a flash. i now have a four year old girl that completely trained herself by 2 1/2... whew that was easy. now my 22 month old.. ugh.. i have feeling this boy will be in pull ups right along with your son.. but it's all good :) have a wonderful night!

My son is 7, and he still has problems with this off and on. We have gone to see a specialist, and was told a few things; caffiene and citric acid are some problem causers in this area, and also, waking them up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom why they are half asleep, doesn't help, b/c they are half asleep so it kind of adds to the whole peeing why they are sleeping thing. I was told I could get an alarm, or try medications, but I've decided to just go with it for now. Lots of kids have this problem till age 10ish and sometimes longer. I think when he hits 9ish or so and if he still has problems I'll let him help decide, as for now, it doesn't bother him. Untill then it's pulls ups or Good nites! If you go to the Good Nites website, there are lots of articles, message boards etc, from other parents in this same situation. Just know you and especially him are not alone ; ) and it IS normal for most kids, others, there may be another problem, so doesn't hurt to go to the Dr with these questions etc... Good Luck!

You said he's perfectly happy and your pediatrician (correctly) said that it is normal, so what is the problem? It is a bilogical issue, not one of hime "deciding" to do it. The bigger deal you make of it, the more likely he will be unhappy about it and worry about it. He's perfectly normal. All kids develop at their own rate. I think you're making a problem where there isn't one.

Hi K.,
I just signed up for this and I am loving it. I came across your question and I couldn't help but ask if you ever thought about going to a Chiropractor?! I use to work for one and my Dad is a Chiropractor and I have learned a lot about how Chiropratic can really help with things like that. My Son who is 4.5 years old was starting to wet the bed all of a sudden and it happened a couple of times so I took him in and he was out of alignment! Which was making it so that he couldn't tell that he had to go potty. The signal was being stopped for a better lack of words. Anyway I got him adjusted which doesn't hurt him at all and isn't invasive by any means but makes such a dramatic difference. I know of a great chiropractor if you are intrested. Just email me and I will give you his information. He is great with children. I take all three of my boys to see him.
- E.

MY son has been potty trained for about 2 yrs. I started him in under wear around 2 or so he is now 4.I make sure that he uses the potty before bed time,I just tell him it is time to go and try to pee pee before bed time.Instead of making it sound like i'm forcing him to potty if he doesn't go right then i'll hold off bed time for a few min. longer and let him know it is time to try again.This has worked for me there has been an occasional wetting the bed.Another thing that I have picked up on if he wakes up crying at nite time and comes into our room it is potty time.One thing i'd like to say is at least it is in the bed I don't know where he got the idea of peeing in the vent in his room STINKY had to go into the ducts to clean.

I am a gandma of two and the mother of 2 grown sons. One of my sons wet the bed clear into 2nd or 3rd grade. He hated it. Just leave your son alone. He cant help it. Apparently they sleep so soundly, they dont feel the urge to urinate until its to late. If it continues into elementary school, just have him get into the routine of pulling the sheets off of his bed and taking them to the laundry room to help you a bit. I never let my son think there was anything "wrong" with him,and he grew up to be a very popular, outgoing, professional young man that I am very proud of!

My son is 9.5 years old and only in recent months has been able to stay dry for weeks at a time. His father was a slow developer too. From about ages 5-8 there was a gradual transition from several accidents a month to just a couple of times a month. Now, he only has little accidents once every two or three months. One of the things that helped me was online research about causes of nightime bed-wetting and all the articles stressed the point that it's not the child's fault...they have no control over it happening and wish it wasn't happening just as much as you do. My advice is take heart...he is normal...it's just going to take time.

K....I don't know if this will help your son....but it certainly did work for my daughter who was still wetting her bed at 5 to 6....I just happened to see a tiny article in the paper one day that said...If your child is still wetting the bed....take them completely off of milk...Which is exactly what I did....and she Never, no never wet the bed again...as it turned out when I had her allergy tested about 12...she was allergic to many things...and milk products were the worst...so no more icecream...etc...you might try it for a couple of nights and see what happens....can't hurt...J.

Hi K.. It looks like you've gotten alot of advice but wanted to write since we faced this same issue. My son just turned 5 1/2 and it wasn't until several months ago, that he finally stopped wetting the bed. Our doctor said it was very common in boys to wet until age 6. Now call this psychological or coincidence but a few months ago he had strep throat and wanted a glass of water by his bedside (he always saw his sister getting her cup of water) but because he always had accidents, we refused. So, that night because of the strep throat, we said he could have the cup of water by his bed and lo and behold, he has never wet again. And, we allow him to have the cup of water by his bed each night just in case. Does he ever drink it, no. We allow him a little sip before he goes to bed. So, don't know if he outgrow the night wets or if having the cup of water just reassured him and took away some pressure. Who knows but wanted to share our story. Good luck.

I know you're done with this question, but I thought I'd answer anyway. My daughter is 5.5 and just started to stay dry the last 2 months. I talked to her pediatrician at her 5yr checkup and she said it's normal for kids to wet the bed until they're 6 or older. She said she doesn't even look into it until they're 6. Some kids are deep sleepers, some kids bodies just don't give them the signal when they're asleep, and some just have small bladders. We didn't "hound" our daughter either. My thought process was, why fight it? Just keep her in pull-ups until she stays dry on her own. And eventually, her pull-ups started staying dry consistently, so we asked if she'd like to wear undies to bed. She said yes, and she hasn't wet since. I imagine night-time dryness is usually a physical problem, not a battle of wills. So moms, just be patient. It will happen when your child is ready.

I tried getting my 4 year old boy up in the middle of the night and making him go pee. It tended to keep him dry (if I got to him before he went), but he didn't learn to get up by himself, so I gave up. I have heard of kids that learned this way, but it didn't work for us. I might try it again if he shows signs of being able to stay dry.

He had a few nights of crying and telling us he needed to pee before we tried waking him up, but he hasn't had one of though nights in months.

It is best not to pressure kids into staying dry at night because you can cause self-esteem problems and such. This is why I stopped waking him up.
Good Luck.

My son used to wet the bed. The doc told me that it was like losing their teeth, that you can't tell them when they will lose a tooth. I found that when I stopped paying attention to it, he stopped. By talking to him, trying the brib thing, etc, I was giving him attention. I just ignored it as much as I could and it went away. Sometimes they will do even not so favorable activites just to get your attention, especially when there's another child in the house. Try giving him extra one on one time with other BIG boy activities. On the nights that he doesn't wet the bed, then give him a special reward. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Hi, my daughter is 5 1/2 and still wets the bed at night. I know it can be frustrating. She has been potty-trained since almost the day she turned two. We tried letting her wear panties at night to see if she would wake up, but no such luck. She would just wake up incredibly wet in the morning and then end up with the inside of her legs being chapped. After a few nights we just got her some Huggies GoodNites. They are more absorbant than regular pullups. We recently went and saw her pediatrician about it. She said most kids grow out of. We have several people in my family that wet until their late teens. But if it runs in your family, like it does ours, the chance of them outgrowing is very slim. We found out that she is missing the hormone that most people have to keep them from wetting at night. It is more prominant in boys, but it can happen to anyone. They do have a medication called DDAVP that your child can take. It is a small pill (size of a birth control pill) that they take every night before bed. They don't like to put them on it til the age of six though. Her pediatrician said that there's not much else you can do. At least your son doesn't mind wearing pull-ups. My daughter hates them. She is ready to wear panties like she does during the day.

Enjoy your son. Just as all things, this to shall pass. He is 4. Sometimes I think we as parents expect too much from our children. I know it can be frustrating, just try not to compare him with other children his age. He is your special son to enjoy. Love him! He is ok.

I am sorry that I do not have good advice for you since I am stuck in the same boat with you. I have a boy that turned 5 in Dec. and a boy that turned 3 today. The 5 year old is still in pull ups at night too and I have tried most suggtestions that did not sound like tortue to him and he still wets in it almost every night. My 3 year old has been dry at night every since he was dry during the day. The boys are very different. I would love it if you would post the resposes that people offer since I am struggling with this issue as well.

We had the same problem. My son is now nine and makes it through the nights dry. I hate to tell you, but it is a matter of physical maturity. He can't help it. My pediatrician told us to not put him in pullups because they are too comfortable and part of the learning is feeling when they are wet. We put plastic pad on the mattress and just knew we were going to be washing sheets and blankets. We never scolded him. Our attitude was "It's ok, you'll outgrow this one of these days. Help me get the sheets off." That gave him a little responsibility, even tho it was not his fault- just part of taking care of himself. I also kept baby wipes and washclothes in the bathroom and he would strip down, put his sheets and wet pjs down the laundry, wipe himself off and get fresh clothes on, himself. He started doing this around 6. Until then, we helped him. We found things got a lot better when we cut out all soda, slushies, popsicles. For some reason they make it worse. Also, sometimes, if he went to bed at 8 or 9 and we were up till 11 or 12 pm, we would wake him up, take him to the bathroom and then back to bed. This saved a lot of laundry and he had no trouble going back to sleep right away. He barely remembered us getting him up the next morning. Kids who are bed wetters are usually really sound sleepers. According to our Dr. there is a chemical your body produces that wakes you up when you have to go to the bathroom at night, and these kids bodies are not producing it yet. It took my son until 8 to be dry most nights. Now at 9 he rarely has an accident. We can let him have a soda, but not after 6. He doesn't mind it because he hates being wet. Be patient and don't worry. He'll outgrow it on his own time. There is a medicine they can take, but it didn't work on my stepson, so I never tried it. I'm not big on giving medicine for something that is a rate of maturity problem.

I don't know that I can offer any advice, but I can offer an understanding ear! My daughter is 6 and still wets the bed. It doesn't matter if she wears a pull up or not, if we stop drinking at night or even tried waking up in the middle of the night. When I was pregnant with my son (he's 9 mos now) I would be up in the middle of the night for myself and would take her and sometimes she would have already wet by the time I got in there. It can be normal, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating when her friends come over in their cute little panties and don't have top change before bed. (Let me say that she has been day trained for quite sometime, maybe three years-can't remember...)
I understand your frustration! Good luck!

I'm interested in any responses also. I have a (just turned) six year old daughter who was potty trained when she was two. She does fine, but she still wets the bed most nights. We've cut her off on her drinks also, but still wakes up soaked! Her Dad wet the bed until he was 12. Could it really be heredity?

first of all, do not get mad at him. that will only make things worse. more importantly, don't get mad b/c i had this problem with my oldest daughter, who is not 15. she would wet the bed so much at night it would soak her sheets from one side of the bed to the other, literally. one thing you might try is getting him up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. i did this for the longest time. then i found out my daughter had a condition called reflux in one of her ureters. what would happen was her urine would flush into one kidney and sit there until she went to sleep at night. when you go to sleep, the muscle that holds your urine relaxes and it allows all of the urine to drain out at night. this can cause serious damage the to kidneys if not treated. we had to get her up several times a night, and make her sit on the potty backwards to train that muscle to open up so she could empty her bladder. when you sit backwards, it forces that muscle to relax. the purpose is to train that muscle to open up when you go to the bathroom and stay tight when you are asleep. she would go to the bathroom like everyone else does, but essentially she was "over flowing" and not really emptying her bladder. i would not take this lightly. your dr. is wrong, it's not normal. trust me i went through this for 5 years and saw 25947825 doctors before i finally found a specialist who knew what tests to run to find out what the problem was. the fact that your son urinates so much in his sleep is what caught my attention. that was my worry also. there was so much urine coming out of such a small body. i knew it was not "normal". good luck and don't get frustrated. i would have felt horrible guilt had i punished my daughter for something i later found out she had no control over.

I skimmed through the previous posts and it looks like you have gotten some great feedback.

I just wanted to add that we determined with ALL three of my kids that there were some specfic foods that would trigger night-time wetting. If my kids had orange juice or chocolate milk after about 5 pm it was almost a sure bet that they wouldn't make it through the night. My son was sensitive to it for the longest. He is 8 and will on occasion have an accident. (Many times I find that his pjs are wet but not the bed-- so I think he is waking enough to hold it or stop it to get to the bathroom.)

And usually those accidents happened when he had chocolate before bed.......