Hi N.,
Sorry this response is so late. I wanted to get a bunch of info to you. Here a few things that we have done. My hubby has been deployed this past year and will be coming home in the next 8 weeks for the end finally, yeah!
#1 Get a "Flat Daddy". While your hubby is still home have him pose for a pic from the waist up in military uniform w/o his hat. Then take your camera and/or pic to your local printing store and ask them to print and laminate then mount this on foam core board. You can get your first one done for free at Bayport Printing in Bayport, MN (near Stillwater) if you are interested. Or go to http://www.imalreadyhome.com/ and you can have it laminated and mailed for free and mount it yourself. Up to you. You can also get a Daddy Doll which I may have done if I would have known how large the Flat Daddy's really are. You have to pay for that though and their pic specifications are different so check out their site for those details at; http://www.daddydolls.com/index.php
# 2 Visit Governor Pawlenty's wife Mary's site for military assistance at; http://www.firstlady.state.mn.us/initiatives_militaryfami... on the right of the website you will see a list you can click into for all kinds of things. I have had my daughter's birthday party planned and thrown. It was awesome! Also have had somebody doing the lawn, leaves and snowplowing all for free the entire time my hubby has been gone. There are also organizations on there that just make blankets for military kids so be sure to spend some time looking at the list no matter where you live. Just pull up your town and start searching. This has been the best help :)
# 3 Go to Build-A-Bear while your hubby is home and create a new animal. Before getting it stuffed have your hubby do a recorded greeting to your daughter and then put it inside the animal. My hubby said something about how he would miss her so much and that he loves her and will be home as soon as he can. We gave it to her for Christmas last year and its definately something she has cherished! We also dressed her little Koala in military camoflage gear and she calls him "Daddy bear".
# 4 just some other sites for you to check out!
http://www.operationwelcomehomes.org/mission.htm (for when your hubby comes home you can go stay in one of these home for FREE to just reunite)
http://www.parenting.umn.edu/militaryKids/index.htm#OMK
http://www.armywifetalkradio.com/
http://awtr.blogspot.com/
When my hubby deployed our daughter had just turned 2 years old and now will be turning 3yrs in January. Its all about how you keep her connected with Daddy. If you are upfront with her and not shy about talking to her I am sure she wil be fine. Being positive really helps and you will find having a toddler is nice too cause you won't have much time to be sad! They keep you really busy with hubby away! I hope that you also have some local family and friends to give you a "break" once in a while. I have family close by but its mostly been the friends who have helped me out. Stay connected with your husbands military family readiness group. There is a non-denominational group that meets monthly at Woodbury Lutheran in Woodbury, MN http://www.freewebs.com/woodburylutheranmilitarysupportgr... if thats something that interests you. That has been a huge help for us and they feed you at every meeting too!
Great comment about asking us military wives of deployed soldiers if we are afraid of our hubby's dying! There was quite a scare while my hubby was gone but its been months ago now. There was an explosion very close to where he is stationed. I had no idea it had happened because I have learned to NOT watch the garbage on the news. Any bad stuff you will know way before its on the news. Anyway, it was my own Dad that said...isn't that where your hubby is?! I was SHOCKED and terrified cause I hadn't even heard anything about it and I was frantically writing emails to everybody trying to figure out if his unit was ok. They were and they were over a mile away but it was still quite nerve-wracking.
The other thing that has bothered me is those the like to try to take politics and bring up their feelings on the war. For those of us with deployed soldiers we usually have a whole different take on all that. I can't stand talking to ignorant people about politics when our family is directly affected. Just not a good idea to bring up with military families of deployed soldiers because they are honestly more worried about the safety of their soldier than anything else!
Find military support wherever you can and be a regular attendee! You are also welcome to email me ____@____.com if you have any other questions/concerns. I know what you are about to go thru all too well and hope I can be supportive of others as well :) You will be fine and amazingly enough the time will fly by despite what you think right now. If you don't remember what it was like the first time he left when you were childless the goodbye is much harder when you have a child. But we stayed at the airport till we couldn't see the plane anymore. When he came home on leave in June we brought a huge balloon bouquet to him and my daughter carried it to the gate where he was flying into. Just create as many positive memories for her and talk to her, prayer with her about Daddy. We also got a webcam but my hubby isn't that great on a computer and he has to use somebody else's computer to do that. So we have only used it maybe 3 times. That hasn't been as much of a big deal. Take tons of pics and send him emails, packages, artwork from your daughter, pic cd's....all kinds of stuff. They will be fine if you do your job at keeping them connected. You guys will be fine too :)
Good Luck!
L.