Starting to Freak Out a Little Bit About Having Baby #2 - Saint Louis,MO

You sound like my clone! Lol! Im totally freaking out about having my 3rd in 5 weeks! All the same feelings, except I know it will be ok because it was with my second. I loved my second instantly just like I did with my first. It was a little difficult adjusting to two kids, but once you do its pretty cool. But for some reason, I keep thinking 3 kids???!???! Am I really pregnant AGAIN? Its going to be crazy! What am I thinking! But, I bet it will be great!

I went through almost exactly what you are going through. I was/am that kind of person that only had one dog, one cat, one fish (until it died), etc because I didn't feel like I could love another as much.

Well with your children you do love each of them. You can't help it. It's absolutely amazing. I fell in love with both of them the moment I got to hear them cry for the first time and hold them.

Although neither of mine are the same in personality I can't imagine them being any different or loving them any less. Also, because you are worried about all the above, you will do even better because you are aware of the possible pitfalls and care enough to address them. You will be a great mom to both of them whether or not your husbands contract is extended or whether or not you think you can afford it because you will love them with all your heart =)

I know JUST how you feel! When I was pregnant with my (very wanted and planned) second daughter, I was *terrified* I wasn't going to love her as much as my first. And my first was such a high-maintenance baby I worried that if baby #2 was like that I'd never be able to spend any time with my first!

But as soon as she came, and ever since, our second has been our own little ray of sunshine :o) And I never had to divide my love....more just appeared for her (and my third too). And cost-wise? we already HAD all the big-ticket items that were basically brand new (my first 2 are 20 months apart) and the clothes we just passed down as well. Our only 'new' cost was diapers.

I went through the 'what were we thinking' bit with my third (again, planned). I mean, we were voluntarily letting them outnumber us!! hahaha But once that new baby is IN your life, you'll hardly remember *not* having her.

Congrats on your new baby (soon) and just relax...it'll all be fine :o)

You will love this baby just as much as the first....and you will find time for your oldest, and still document your second one with photos. The one thing I learned after I had my second, is that there may be more pictures of the two of them together than just the second one alone...so I make sure to get pics of just my second one alone too. You will find the money to pay for everything, you will connect with this baby....everything will be ok!! Congrats on the addition to your family and good luck with your induction! It will be great!

Answer to your question as to how will you love baby #2 as much as you love your first? That comes naturally. Your first born will always be your first born but your second will be your baby. They each take a special place in your heart, neither is bigger than the other.
After I had my second child I included her big brother in helping me take care of her. He was only 17 months at the time so with a 2 year old it is definitely doable. Ask your first if they want to sit in your lap and help feed the baby, or when changing the little ones diaper ask the older to throw away the dirty one (this also helps the older one learn responsibility).
Pictures are a whole different story. Most likely you won't have as many pictures of your second as you do of your first by them selves but you will have plenty of pictures of them together and that is really how they are going to grow up right?
Connecting with children is always different. My son has a stronger connection with my sister than he does me, while my daughter and I have a bond I always dreamed of having with my daughter. Just as long as your child knows they are loved you will be connected.
As far as affording two children... I'm still trying to figure this one out. :) Everything will come as you need it.

Staying Calm and Collected:
Every mother has their day. We don't always have the answers but we don't always have to have them. Whenever I start to freak out I tell my children I am taking a time out. My boyfriend is wonderful about, when I need a time out, taking the kids outside for a little while and letting me sink into a tub to collect my thoughts. Just that 20 minutes of alone time does wonders for me. I didn't have that up until recently, before I used to have a lot of problems keeping my cool. Just make sure to take time for yourself. That has become one of my number one rules now. I make sure I get at least 20 minutes to myself a day.

Trust me you will have no problem finding enough love for your second, mine are about the same age apart as your two will be. I laugh at myself now for ever thinking I could never love the new baby as much, he has been the most wonderful addition. You'll have enough attention for both of them, it's a little hard during the newborn stage so take as much help as you can get from family and friends. I was able to reuse all of my baby stuff from the first w/ the second & it was all in great condition, even clothes! They are so close in age that they are even starting to play together. You're feelings are normal, it will all work out!

Ok- why are you being induced? If it is six weeks away it is probably not for a medical reason. Please let your baby choose its birth date. I am a former NICU Respiratory Therapist and now a midwife. Inductions are dangerous and carry many risks. I have taken care of so many babies that end up in the NICU after convenience inductions. Your baby will send off a chemical from its lungs letting the mother know it is ready to be born and that it is completely done developing and at that point the mother goes into labor. Before this occurs the baby is not ready. Please just say no to inductions.

Just take a deep breath, relax, and remind yourself that women have been having babies for as long as there have been people, and that somehow we always find a way to love ALL of our children. I had those same concerns before I had my 2nd but lo and behold, my love somehow multiplied enough to be able to love two people more than I have ever loved anything. You won't have the same relationship with you 2nd that you have with your first. You will get to know this little one just like you did your first, and it will happen naturally. As for bonding... if you don't have a history of post-partum depression, shouldn't be an issue.

Congrats on your growing family! How exciting!

Breathe! :)

It will all be OK. It will be rough at first, just because you will ALL be learning a new routine. It will take a little time, but you can do it. We all do it. try not to worry! Mine were 27 months apart and I just kept looking at my oldest and thinking how I am going to rock her little world when her sibling was born. I felt the guilt. Guess what? She LOVED her new baby sister! The hardest part was keeping her out of the baby's crib! Your oldest will want to help and just love their new baby! As soon as she is born, you will love her just as much as your first! Remember newborns sleep a lot so this will give you time to adjust to the new schedule with two little ones.

It's going to be OK! Don't try to plan too much because that usually does not work in the end. Remember to be flexible! Grab the nap when you can and ask and accept help!

All the best and congratulations!

I think the thing is to try to just let go of any expectations, especially of yourself. Just get through it and realize that the sweet moments of life just happen, you don't have to force anything. Your older child will do fine and you will always be wanting to pull them into your lap for some love when you get a minute. I won't lie, it was hard for me at first, but here I am preg with number three and going to have not quite a two year span between 2 and 3 so I guess it wasn't too bad!! I think parenthood is like 90% on the job training. You figure it out as you go!! Nobody will parent exactly like you and your kids were tailor made to be mothered by you :D I think having two in a weird way has brought my husband closer together more, kind of like soldiers in a fox hole!!!LOL But closer none the less :D It's like you have to have each other's backs bc it is more work physically and emotionally. You will do well and your kids will have have each other long after you are gone. We tell our older son all the time that his baby brother is his best friend for life, when we aren't around he will still have his bro. He loves that and now that my baby is 14 months they play non stop and yeah fight some too ;) Hang in there and congrats, it's all gonna be OK mama!

Oh sweetie you are going to love this little one as much as your other kiddo! This is SO typical of an expectant mom. I remember thinking the same thing. "How can I love this one as much as I love my daughter"? She is so perfect, wonderful, the most beautiful little girl in the whole wide world. Well, she really was! But the minute I held my little guy I just melted! You will too! When your little one is napping, have one on one time with your older kiddo.

I will tell you that there will be jealousy. Don't panic. Its normal. You probably won't take as many pictures but you will be more relaxed and easy going with baby #2. If there is a Mother's Day Out at your church see if that is doable $$ wise. If not, don't worry about the house. Enjoy your time with the kids. They grow up so fast. Your dirty house will always be there the kids won't! Congratulations!!!

Okay, well there isn't much you can do to stop the crazy thoughts in your head...I tried, but failed miserably! ;) What helped me most was to talk about them with my husband b/c he was the one who knew me the best and knew how to handle my craziness. He would always reassure me and tell me it was okay and give me the positives of our daughter having a sibling, etc. etc. And he was right...don't tell him! haha! I will say the biggest thing that helped me was that the second my daughter met her brother she hugged him, kissed him and told him she loved him. My heart melted. It was honestly the most incredible thing and to see them grow up together and interact and love each other is the most wonderful experience that I wasn't expecting. Of course you will love the baby as much, you know that but it's just so foreign to you that you don't know how it will happen and it freaks you out, I get it...but it will and it's magical! As for the next 6 weeks, keep yourself busy, as if you're not already, and do your final shopping and nesting tasks. Talk to your first child about the baby and lean on those who know you and love you best! Hugs!

I think the old adage "One day at a time" applies here. You can't take care of it all today but you'll know what to do as you go. : ) The future is not here yet. All you have is today and today is what is true.