Starting Middle School Without Her Friends

I would ask to switch her to her friend's team. Isn't being a kid and going to school hard enough these days? We all need a friend and making friends can be very hard with the cliqs that kids have. Good luck. I have a 16 month old girl.

My 3rd grader has a very similar personality. He has problems making friends, and it breaks my heart. I can symathize with you on this one. I am getting ready to put in a call to the school counselor, we are also new in the school district, which makes it harder. Here we have the counselor and peer groups which the counselor oversees. I would talk to the teacher and your counselors. But I would do it quietly, other kids can be so cruel. I would love to hear how this turns out! Good Luck!

Hi R.,
My daughter was very quiet and insecure for years. Add to that a learning disability and you have the makings for a very hurt child. When we all realized that my daughter was not making friends and sitting by herself all day long a teacher decided to pair her up with a new student that was a little more outspoken. Needless to say they are the best of friends and my daughter has made many more friends since then. Also this little girl seems to have briken my daughter out of her shell. I also have to agree with another comment.... Middle school is not all about the acidemics the kids find out who they are and grow socially. Make sure that she is able to make friends but try to make these friends "new friends" keep her in the team that she is in unless she is showing major problems.

It is going to be hard for her...i had a similar personality at her age and unfortunately had to change schools far too often in middle and high school...as a mom i would also be very tempted to intervene for her protection...but then i think it is more important for her to learn how to cope with this...she will eventually make friends...and she will be with the same group for 2 years you said...this is going to give her the skills to do well in high school which will be even more challenging...i would definitely encourage her to do some after school activities with her other friends if possible and also call the school counselor to have them keep an eye on her progress and hopefully they have some group counseling sessions she can be part of...i have two in middle school right now and i honestly think the academics are actually not as impacting in their lives right now as much as all the social rules they are learning...good luck in whatever u decide!

I would request that she be able to move to another team. Learning in school is as much social as it is the educational part. Of course some children will thrive in any situation but for some, like myself and my 6 year old son, we have a little harder time making friends and warming up to people which can cause an issue with learning. I think that it really depends on the needs of your child. I know that in my sons school he is already the minority and doesn't feel like he identifies with most of the students. I was very excited to learn that the one student that he related to, in the entire school of about 480 students, would be in his class this year. He is still having some adjustment issues this year and is really anxious unless his teacher or his friend are there before I leave. It wasn't until the third quarter of last year that he really started fitting in with the rest of the class. If having friends around is something that would help then your principal should be understanding of this. If your daughter had a recommendation from her teacher two years ago of a social need to have someone familiar in her class then this should also be taken into consideration. However, it has been two years and that may not be the case anymore. It may be that the principal would like to observe how she handles being on her own. She may surprise you and make lots of new friends and do well. Sometimes being pushed out of our comfort zone is what causes us to rise to the challenge. Good luck. Going up against administration isn't always easy if that's what you decide to do.

You are going to have people tell you that you should just leave it the way it is, but as a mother of four I realize all kids are differant. I have a little girl that sounds similar to your daughter and I would have to step in and have her team changed. Now on the other hand my other daughter would be fine with the situation. I would go with your gut on this one and if you decide you want to change her I would call the school as soon as possible. Best of luck to you.

This is not a really big problem unless you make it one. your daughter is 11 and it is time for her to socially find her way. If you keep letting situations like this become a big concern, when she gets to high school, she will totally be shocked. She has to learn now to interact with students she is unfamiliar with. It is better she does it now and get used to it, than when she gets to a higher grade and is swallowed up by the other kids who view having a class, etc with new people as nothing. She will not be as traumitized as you think. I think she will be just fine. she can always see her friends at recess and after school. If she could form a sort of study group with them, this will make it a little more comfortable for her knowing she will see her friends. let me know how everything goes. Good luck!

what school is she in???? you know My youngest who is now in 9th has had issues all through school. with Anixty and not wanted to go and not feeling good. And doctor apointment and test. You might what to talk to her Countsulr and just see what they think. I have spent alot in tiem in their office and are very willing to help you. you could also talk to the teachers. They were willing to all get together and talk about the problem for my daughter. If I can help let me know. We are in Wentzville school district. I think it might be good to say you know you have to learn to make new friends and they are not always going to be there. And ask her to try it and see if make new friends. Try to get her to open up to you all and see if you can't help meet new people. All the new kids coming into school that year met and talked and let the kids got to know each other. We have only been out her two years. Best wishes. let me know how it is going.

Take it as when life gives you lemons...make lemonade. She'll have to learn to make friends easier, or she will be making herself miserable. I'm sure she will still have her friends at her school and they will still see each other. It's not like the school has taken her friends from her, and I'm sure she's not the only kid who feels she's left without friends when changing schools. Do not try and "fix it" for her. Do you really think the school is going to make a change like that for the reason of "no friends in the class"? School is for school and the teachers will not appreciate the change due to social reasons. You need to be a parent and explain that to her and she will gradually get over it. Yes, socially it's important as well, but to a point. This will not be the only time she will be put in a situation of not knowing anyone, but she'll learn to make friends this way. Just as she did when she first started to go to school. If every parents did what you want to do, can you imagine the chaos in the office of everyone wanting to switch because they had no friends in their classes. Sorry, I have no sympathy for you. At least she's in the same school as her friends. Next year we are moving and my daughter will be starting a new school, without any of her friends she's had since kindergarden, 1st, 2nd and so on. She will also be starting a middle school and will be 11 and I have already told her I did not want to hear about how she will have no friends. It's a life experience. Just like mine will, your daughter will learn how to deal with it and adjust on her own terms, in her own way. Good Luck!