Standards Plummeting... Aisle 3 - Seattle,WA

My ex took my kids to one or two completely inappropriate movies before I set some rules about that - basically that we would follow MPAA guidelines to the letter, unless there was a movie that had real merit, and had been prescreened by the parent, and the parent would be there to watch the movie with the kids. For example, I let my kids see 'Saving Private Ryan' for it's historical and emotional value, even though that had some really awful battle sequences, but did not let them see '300', which was just gratuitous.

Yikes! And of course you get the consequesces...

*Hug* to get you through the evening...

You may need to add a question so this doesn't get pulled.

Your ex took your 9y to an R-rated movie? That is just wrong on so many levels.

im expecting that same sittutation when my daughter gets to 9. her dad has done the pg-13 shows since she was 4 (now 5) so I feel for you=( also the staying up to midnight on a school night in K causes M. to pick her sleepy grumpy self up and carry her to the car on ocassion
i'm reminded often on here although he seems to be clueless he has a good heart when it comes to her and would never lay a hand on her..so although I have to deal with disney dad, I'm glad I dont have an ex that hits or screams in her face or is addicted. My standards are dropping as well
ugh! hope your day gets better

Ugh. I had a really frustrating nasty half hour with my daughter last night, and I have no one to blame except myself (spouse and son are out of the country for the summer). Sending you good thoughts. Things WILL get better (or he'll get big enough that you won't be carrying him into school because you won't be able to pick him up). [That last remark was supposed to be comforting, though it probably isn't.] Just remember that you are giving him a sane, supportive place to land, regardless of the nutty things that other people do.

R., did you happen to call your ex on the phone and let him hear the screaming and thank him for the favor?

I hope you tell the judge what he did...

Dawn

Wow . . . I was nervous for my 15-yo to see Prometheus. We still haven't gone.

IMHO that's way too intense for a 9 yo. And isn't it rated R?!?!

My just-turned-10 year old sees movies like that all the time and has no problems. He thinks they are cool! It really just depends on the kid.

Hugs, R.. I've been on the 'consequence' end of things from time to time, too. This morning was one of those mornings, and I'm so glad I am starting to come up with plans like "Don't tell Kiddo that the neighbor girl is coming over, because she's going to be an hour late as usual and then he's all freaked out'... stuff like that. sigh.

Maybe you can have 'no PG-13 movies until he's 13 and no R rated movies until he's 17' written into the custodial visitation agreement? Some people really need to have it spelled out for them, esp. the parents who want to be 'cool' with their kids. (It's happened way to much within my family, my sisters and their exes, that's for sure.)

That's one of those times where the childish person in me would want to call the offender up at whatever hour of the morning the kid woke up and say, "If I have to be up, you get to be up, too."

While it didn't change everything, we talked to the sks about ratings and why and held firm our own standards in our home. When SD was 8 and popped in Goldmember and wanted to show a friend I said no. SD lived. Her mom didn't explode. But DH did talk to his ex and said he would prefer her to be more mindful about what SD watched - she was really bad about taking SD to any old movie, because she didn't want to have to watch something else. It helped that SD got older and wanted to watch different things and was old enough to leave in a theater by herself. SS was 13 when DH and I got married so our primary concern was SD on this topic.

I purchased the tickets. For my husband and daughter to see this, because I knew I would not bel attending.

You have to wonder why some parents think this type of thing is ok...

Hang in there and do what my dad always did.. He reminded me that it is all make believe... He even took me to a movie set to show me how fake it all is... Helped a little, but with a vivid imagination, I do not need any outside help.

My kids are 5 and 9, now.
So my Husband... was once playing an Xbox game called "Alan Wake."
So he's in his man cave playing this. He's all quiet and not being irritating playing his adult game.
Fine.
I was in the kitchen cleaning up. It is night time. Then I noticed my kids were all quiet. But... I did not see them anywhere. So I call them "Hey kids where are you?!"
They say "Here Mommy, we're watching Daddy play a cool game Alan Wake!"
OMG.
The game is categorized as a horror game.
Geez.
So I go in there, my daughter is laying on the sofa with a pillow over her face with one eye poking out watching my Husband play the game. My son... is sitting next to Daddy watching and like scared.
Good grief.
Meanwhile, Husband is STILL playing his game, all in a zone... and the kids are there.
Sheesh.
Duh.
Yah.... husband knew better. But was not in the mood to scoot them out of the room and have to pause, the game.

2) 2nd scenario: so the other day, my daughter is being all fussy and moody and probably because she is 9. So I was being tough-love with her and not being all manipulated by it. Then, Husband talks over me, to me... and says I am being TOO strict and what is *MY* problem anyway, she's just a little girl. Like as though he didn't hear my daughter scream and be a banshee. And he is right there.
I TOLD him "You got the wrong person, you are barking up the WRONG tree...." I had to cool off. Then, I went over to him, with my daughter.... and like a sport announcer detailed to him, HOW and what my daughter was doing, knowingly just being a banshee and how that is not acceptable. And THAT is why, I was handling it. My way.
So then he goes "Oh... " then he turns to my daughter and says in his "tough Daddy voice" "NEXT time, you better listen to Mommy... do not act like that again." As though... his word is the end all to things.
Snicker.

Oh R.--I'm so sorry. I know this is an incredibly rough time for you right now....hang in there!

I am so mad at the judicial system. Your ex is such a sick and twisted bastard. What kind of a lawyer would represent him? I mean, sadly, I understand better how someone who loves him can hang on and turn a blind head to this cruelty. But for money? Cold hard cash?

And more over, what kind of a judge approves unsupervised visits? Ignorant piece of work. They may as well have your son stay with a shark for a couple days - only I bet your son would have come home from a shark tank with a glint in his eye and a million stories of adventure.

It makes me want to throw up, especially because we are weeks off from petitioning for custody. I wish your case were more of anomaly. But, it's societal. It's absolutely ludicrous. This stuff burns my toast darker than just about anything.

I'm so sorry sweetie. Hang in there. Prayers for you and your son. I hope this glorious sun helps him feel a bit better.