Stand-off with 3 Year Old

Updated on May 17, 2013
J.G. asks from Chicago, IL
9 answers

I found myself in a stand-off with my 3 year old yesterday ( read my question on bike rides). At one point, I had to take his big wheel from him. We were up the street from the house, and he refused to walk. I walked away, and he sill refused.i eventually had to go get him, and he was calm at this point, but I didn't feel comfortable walking so far away from him --I walked home and hide behind a tree.

Carrying a baby, I feel somewhat limited. Without baby, I think I would have carried him home when he refused to budge. But I'm not sure what else I could have done? Do I just wait for him to calm down and then go from there? Do I walk a safe distance from him and just wait there?

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

I usually carry baby in a wrap, but I had her in a summery sling yesterday because it was super not. I can't carry baby and him with the sling. Now I know that I need to wear my wrap and not my sling.

He was perfectly safe. We live on a very quiet deadend street.

I didn't drag him because he usually comes running after me. When i went back to him, I did start off by dragging him, but then he walked with me. In the future I will just grab him.

But usually. I would just pick his sorry ass up and carry him. I just couldn't last night.. Learned my lesson!

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Z.B.

answers from Toledo on

I'm confused. Baby in sling, bigwheel in one had, his hand (or wrist) in the other. I have a very strong (seriously strong) 4 years old, and there have been times when I have started out dragging him. But he learns pretty quickly that I'm not going to let go and walks with me. He might continue trying to get away, but I hold on.

Was holding his hand (or wrist) not an option?

3 moms found this helpful

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D..

answers from Miami on

You know what I did when MY 3 year did this? I picked him up like a suitcase with his Osh-Kosh-B-Gosh overalls that I had crossed the straps in the back like an "X". Sometimes kicking and screaming, too. (I marvel at how strong I was back then, in my mid-30's, no less!!) And yes, I learned that the overalls were really good for a lot of things, including this!

You leave the trike or big wheel there and you deal with the child. You wear the baby on your chest so that your hands are free. You also don't let him have that trike or big wheel for a while and you tell him that he has lost his toy because of his behavior.

Good luck.

7 moms found this helpful
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B.P.

answers from Cleveland on

I would of left the bikes n carried baby n him home

3 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from Miami on

Doris Day is exactly right!

This is unsafe behavior and needs to be stopped immediately. The big wheels would be gone (in my house) for a while until he was able to use them safely.

Why did you hide behind a tree?

2 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

Usually, they follow you. He must have been too tired..or too stubborn!
There is not much you can do but go back and get him.

It's just his future choices that are now limited.

That was one bad day!

1 mom found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

I always took a length of rope with me - it had a loop at both ends. I would loop the rope around the bike and tow it back with him sitting on it. It saved the effort of carrying him but also kept me from leaving him.

The other technique is just to sit down and let him be bored as all get-out until he's ready to pedal home. I doubt he'd have lasted longer than 5 minutes, although it would be a loooonnnngggg 5 minutes for you. The important thing is not to engage in a battle of wills with a kid having a tantrum. Don't discuss it, just sit and wait it out. If you can carry a little paperback book or your phone with games or a crossword puzzle, it shows that you aren't going to cave in and let him be the total center of attention.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

I'm confused....why couldn't he ride home next to you?

1 mom found this helpful
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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

Support baby with one arm, and firmly grasp his arm or hand with the other - start off dragging him if necessary, he'll start walking when he loses enough skin... leave the big wheel behind - you NEVER just walk away from a 3yo right next to a street, that's just not real bright...

1 mom found this helpful
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N.P.

answers from Chicago on

in that situation you were right to try what you did, when that didn't work, yep you put him under an arm and carry him to a safer place. If need be you may have to bring a wagon to put his ride on toy in or leave the toy and go back later for it.
Getting a back pack carrier for any kid under 20 months is a must and since you have 3 kids you can then put one kid under each arm and survive if you must.

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