Your Husband:
- sounds like a single Male
- sounds like a House-guest
BUT...he is:
- A Husband, and
- A Father
-AND lives in a family. Not by himself.
THUS, he has responsibilities to HIS family/Wife/Kids/Household.
A Man/Husband/Dad... can do ANYTHING a woman does, except breastfeed.
My Husband (although not perfect either):
- Works full time
- Goes to school as well
- Comes home from work and studies... EVERYDAY, 7 days a week. Pulling all nighters for studying and keeping up his GPA. Very important.
But.. my Husband, will help.
Why?
Because, I tell him to.
My Husband, has said, that because he is so busy in his mind and always studying/working... he does not think... about the household/kid stuff. Because I am doing it. I am a SAHM. BUT... he also says, that instead of me getting pissy and bitchy about it... JUST TELL HIM.... what I want him to do... because if I don't say anything, he assumes I am fine and don't need help. Because... men CANNOT read a woman's mind.
So that is what I do.
I give him head's up.
If I want him to do something or help... I tell him. And try to do it ahead of time. So that, he can pace his studying and then when he has a moment, he will come out of his cave and help.
Mind you, school for him also means, doing online things... at the computer and it is often timed or he is online with a Teacher and he can't just LEAVE the computer and leave the online discussion at the spur of the moment. THUS... he DOES need to be told, ahead of time.
It is only, fair. For him. For me.
Now... for your Husband... don't let him be a "Boarder."
Make him do things.
Make a "Daddy Do-List" poster and put it up on the wall.
Put on it, things HE needs to do. And daily or whatever.
He is 'embarrassed' for his dear Mommy to come over to your house.
Well he is not a baby, and can clean up the house too.
He is a grown-up MAN.
And you BOTH have a child, with learning disabilities... so WHERE is your Husband in all of this? Does he even know his own child or help???
If not, then he NEEDS to.
YOU need to sit him down and have a grown-up conversation... about his ROLE in the family, about his ROLE as a Husband and about his ROLE as a Father.
He needs to: STEP-UP. Because, he is being a baby. Not doing anything. But he has this grown-up life of being married, having a child, and having a family and having a home.
So... what the heck does he think? He can just live there like a hotel guest?
HE can help and help make things "perfect" too.
And you, his Wife, works.
He is a bump on a log.
MAKE HIM DO THINGS.
He sounds very lazy.
He sounds like a child.
He, even if going to school, hardly has homework???
How can that be?
Are you sure?
MAYBE, he is just flaking off school, too.
And wasting his money.
How many classes is he taking????
What is his GPA?
I would ask him.
My Husband goes to school and is ALWAYS studying, 7 days a week. He has to. I KNOW what my husband's classes are and his load of work/homework. It is a TON.